We received the first monthly parent newsletter from our 8 year old's Sunday School teachers today. They use materials from WordAction Publishing Co. There is a section called "Parent Pointers" and it features topics relating to elementary children. This month's topic is stress in children. We might think of childhood, especially during the elementary years (K-6th usually) as "stress-free". What in the world would be stressful to a child ages 5-11? Well, as a special education teacher and former parenting instructor in an inner city crisis pregnancy center (that also dealt with issues other than unwanted pregnancies), I can tell you that many, many young children DO have stress in their lives. Some children deal with stress on a daily basis! Some examples of children who deal with stress include: children of divorced parents/custody issues, children with parents who have addictions, children in poverty, children living in abusive (physical, emotional, sexual) homes, children who are homeless, children who are being "pushed" to be over-achievers, children who are bullied/harassed by neighbors/peers/schoolmates. For those of us with 2 parent homes, stable incomes, a good community of peers, schools and church, we still have stress in our lives and our children will at times, also! Some stress factors are: getting rushed to school in the a.m., not having a clear, simple routine to their day (I see this sometimes in children who are homeschooled by a parent who might not have a fixed daily schedule), assessments and exams sometimes cause stress in cihldren, particularly children who are having trouble with reading. There are other factors as well, but these are the ones that come to mind.
Some signs that your child might display if they are stressed out, even a little, are: changes in eating habits/appetites, displays of uncontrolled rage, crying and unexplained fears, significant drop in school grades/performance, difficulty sleeping, frequent irritability and violent episodes.
How do we help our children cope with stress? Well, first, if you are a Christian, you can pray! Pray for the Lord's guidance and then follow these simple steps:
Some signs that your child might display if they are stressed out, even a little, are: changes in eating habits/appetites, displays of uncontrolled rage, crying and unexplained fears, significant drop in school grades/performance, difficulty sleeping, frequent irritability and violent episodes.
How do we help our children cope with stress? Well, first, if you are a Christian, you can pray! Pray for the Lord's guidance and then follow these simple steps:
- Encourage stress-relieving activities: watch a funny movie appropriate for your child's age, take walks together, play outside at a park or backyard, help your child plant something. Basically: physical exercise with mental exercise!
- Validate your child's feelings of anger/fear: elementary children over age 7 still sometimes need parents to help them separate fantasy from reality. Children under age 7 have more trouble dealing with fantasy vs. reality. Help your child to put the stressful situation into perspective at the same time that you acknowledge her feelings. Also, teach your children constructive ways to deal with being angry. Remember: being angry is not a sin. Feelings were made by God: tell your child it is ok to feel angry, and teach them something to do when feeling that way that is not violent. (more on this topic in another post!)
- Do not over-schedule your child! It is best to allow your child to have 1-2 extracurricular activities that they truly enjoy than to have 1 every nite that they do not really like at all! Allow plenty of time for creative play (children between ages 4-7 will engage in fantasy play; older children still enjoy creative play that is more realistic such as creating art projects, playing an organized ball game outdoors, etc.
- Keep your child on a regular meal and bedtime schedule. Proper nutrition and rest help to better equip your child to deal with physical and emotional effects of stress.
- Establish an environment of trust and security. This is our job as parents! Provide support that sets safe limits while at the same time allows your child to develop at her own pace. Do not compare one child with another! This will cause added stress!
- Pray with and for your child! This is the most important thing in my opinion!
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