Here's my little girl who thinks she is so grown up now that she is a tween. Actually this pic is from the summer of 2006 when she was 7. This past Dec (07) she just turned 9 and thinks it is so cool to be a "pre-teen" (a.k.a. "tween"). Claire is the one in the green shirt & braids and she is with one of our neighbor friends, Morgan. We are on a mountain summit in the Adirondacks.
Along with becoming a tween, she began to not want me to hug/kiss her in public! I knew this was gonna happen as it sure did with my oldest. My oldest, though, was in 4th grade when she declared "no more hugs in public, Mom" (well, she is a summer baby so turned 9 just before 4th grade whereas Claire is a dec. baby so is only in 3rd grade as per NYS regulations on when to send kids to kindergarten). So....she is still "little" to me. I mean, she is only in 3rd grade!! But...I received an article from the Parent Connection newsletter that our Sunday School staff hand out each month, and this month's feature article was about showing displays of affection to our middle elementary children now that they no longer want it in public. This list is also good if you have a child who has the love languages of "quality time", "words of affirmation" or "acts of service". If you have a tween (a child between the ages of 9-12) and you are noticing she no longer wants those public displays of affection, try these: (these are also great for teenagers too...I have used some of them with my 14 year old who won't even walk next to me in the mall anymore!) Try these tips:

• Make time each day for your child. Stay involved in the things that are important to them. (I would love to just drop off Claire at ballet class and run an errand but I don't. I stay to observe and be a presence in the studio as ballet is one of her passions.)
• Give hugs at home if child no longer wants them in public. But be respectful of her body. Claire is at the point where she only wants a long hug at night and no more kisses unless it is a quick peck once! She prefers hugs.
• Notice and compliment what your child does right.
• Ask for her opinion when it is appropriate to do so.
• Set limits/have boundaries for your child...for their protection.
• Really listen to what your child is saying. Honestly answer her questions.
• Admit it when you make a mistake. Apologize if needed. Children need to see that we are not perfect and that adults make mistakes and must apologize, too!
• Introduce your child to God's love through a personal and/or family devotional time. Keep it age-appropriate with a possible hands-on activity or object lesson. Once they are in an older grade (usually around 5th) you can use less hands on activities unless your child is a kinesthetic learner.
• Keep your child connected to family and church (local body of believers) through planned activities. (e.g. family movie nites at home or church, board game nites, church clubs, a ministry, etc.)

And of course....keep telling your daughter you love her. She may not want to hear it but those words will be in her heart and mind.
How do you show your tween you love her/him?