Meditative Thoughts

I'm in the beginning of a great study book by Beth Moore.  (see sidebar). The class takes place every Wednesday evening at my church for the next 7 weeks.  The leader is a friend of mine.....she used to be my youngest daughter's Sunday School teacher...she has alot of spiritual wisdom and zeal.

I am sometimes full of zeal......more often than not. But... this past winter, I found my self lacking zeal, motivation, or even my "zest for life" that is normally a huge part of my personality.  There was a reason for it.....and the experience made me dig into the Word, prayer, and journaling...all good things....it was tough though and I felt inadequate much of the time until......

I was told recently by someone that she looked up to me.  YIKES!  Talk about being put on the spot!

She asked me how I can be so disciplined in my faith. (I was honored that she looked up to me, yet, at the same time, with that, comes a responsibility, sort of)

UM....I am so NOT disciplined at times!

I told the person a little bit about the struggle I had most of the winter and how, in that struggle, I learned alot about what a true friend is and is not.  AND I had the privilege of "helping" another good friend deal with some root issues in her life and she began working on those things that have been pulling her down, spiritually.  (I did a post about that....go here to read the wonder-working power of GOD!).  I was just one vessel He used to help guide my friend on the right course. By helping someone dear to me, it put my own "stuff" into perspective and kept my mind off of my sadness about the situation.

We are about to start week 3 tomorrow......meaning we are discussing, in our small group, the 2nd weeks work.  It was about the jealousy & rage that King Saul felt toward David.

It was also about the friendship between David and Jonathan.

I couldn't believe how much I learned, that I thought I already knew, but was seeing in a different, more mature way.  Meaning: I learned the story of David and Jonathan many, many years ago as a child in Sunday School....I thought I knew the basic points.  But...as a 50 year old wife, mom, teacher, and friend, church volunteer, musician in a (past) music ministry, sister/aunt/daughter, who has worked in parenting/crisis/peer counseling ministry, I realized I, too, have gained much knowledge of relationships in those roles.  And yet...I still am learning about what it really means to have a friend.  A true one.

I learned that I don't really have a spiritually intimate friendship with anyone other than my husband.

Is that Ok?? Maybe.  

I THOUGHT I had one that started last summer....but...circumstances have changed and that person no longer views us as friends even though I still consider that person to be one (in my eyes).  And guess what??

That is ok, too!  

Here is what I learned a true friend is, according to the study I have just completed:

• someone whom God orchestrates and brings into your life by His Power and Plan

"...the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul."  I Samuel 18:1b

• someone who is there for you, who gets you, and who is willing to pray with you, and allows it to be reciprocated....
• someone who will protect you (emotionally, if not physically)

"And Jonathan took off the robe that was on him and gave it to David, with his armor,even to his sword and his bow and his belt." I Samuel 18:3 (this is symbolism of Jonathan pledging to protect David)

• someone who lifts you up, spiritually
• someone who edifies you and encourages you
• someone who does not feel threatened when other (new) friends come into your life...the assurance that the bonds won't break are established....
• someone who allows you to be your self.  The good. the bad. the negative emotions. the positive emotions

• someone who loves you with no strings attached or even if you can't love back because you might not know how

I Samuel 18:1-4 only mentions that Jonathan loved David like his own soul.  It does NOT say that David loved him back. (although we find out later on that David did love Jonathan, as evidenced by the embrace when David had to flee the area)

• someone who stands by you even if other people want to shun you
• someone willing to walk alongside you, not lead, and not follow...just walk alongside.
• someone who isn't afraid of your "stuff" and who willingly shares her own testimony, "stuff", etc.
• someone who loves the Lord and points you to Him and tells you the truth IN LOVE!
• someone who is not mean-spirited or talking behind your back
• someone who reaches out and allows the other person to reach out as well
• someone who is a Christ-follower and who speaks about what the Lord is doing in her/his life
• someone who can role model godly behavior
• someone who doesn't mind messes

Jonathan helps David, with a plan, when Saul decides to kill David.  He was there for him and didn't turn away because he got "uncomfortable"...he stuck by David's side.....and put his own life in jeopardy....

• someone who doesn't go backwards in the relationship when feelings get hurt, but moves forward, forgetting what lies behind and moving on after forgiveness has taken place....
• someone who doesn't feel threatened by others or is not co-dependent on the relationships with others

When David married Michel, this did not hinder the friendship between David and Jonathan.

• someone who seeks the Lord's will.....and does it.....

and I am sure there are many more things...but...most of these were touched on in the study.....other things I gleaned from this past week's work:

"the power of love often exceeds the power of loyalty...."

"the Spirit of God is more powerful than the spirit of wickedness!"

"anyone can make a covenant (pledge, promise) but only the faithful keep the covenant!"

"uncommon friends (those "once in a lifetime" kinds of friends) can speak their minds without fear!"

"the bonds of uncommon friends are deeper than the width of their differences" (I know so many people who need to embrace this truth!)

"uncommon friends can share their hearts without shame."

"they can share a common goal:  the will of God"

"they can feel safe with one another...and be vulnerable...."

"they are brought together with spiritual ties, not the sequence of time"

(this means YES!!  you CAN establish strong, close friendships without knowing each other for very long and without having common experiences....this is how the friendship between David and Jonathan was....it was ordained by GOD!!...they didn't know each other yet Jonathan "loved him with all his soul".)

"The friendship was a bond of three"

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12 talks about the 3-cord strand....this means God is at the center of the relationship.

So....let's agree to pray for those friends with whom we feel a connection...they are important in our lives....be real. Be open. Be your self.

and know that there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother...His name is JESUS!

Those are my thoughts as the work week continues....what is the Lord teaching you this week??