Financial Contentment in Marriage

It's the first Monday of the month!  And what a hectic month it promises to be!

November and December are crazy busy for us here in the T----household. 

Sometimes it gets stressful....and in that stress, sometimes that affects our marriage!

Today's topic is seen in the title.

E-mom from Chrysalis is our amazing host for the monthly Marriage Monday articles and she gave us several topics to choose from regarding finances in marriages.  The one I am going to address here is "Our Holiday Spending Plan"

Dave and I used to "go all out" for Christmas.  Especially when the girls were younger.  They are now a senior in high school (age 17) and a 6th grader in elementary school (age 11). Yes...they both still make "wish lists" and in fact, have already handed them in to me!  and yes...I have started my Christmas shopping because 1. I love to shop. and 2. I am a planner. and 3. I hate the malls. So I go to cute, quaint shoppes or online and voila....shopping is usually done by mid-December and I can enjoy baking, entertaining, and concerts.....

This year, we told our daughters we were cutting back even more from the previous Christmas and that the oldest would be getting things she would need for life in a dorm (She graduates from high school in June!!).

Dave and I don't really have a certain amount of money we put aside for Christmas.  We tend to use our Visa card (which we pay off as soon as the bill comes...if we don't think we can pay it off in full, we simply don't spend) and we tend to spend a certain amount for each daughter.  Usually they get about the same number of gifts for the same amount of money.  Dave and I have really cut back on our gift-giving to each other.  I mean...really...what do we need??  Most of our gifts are wants.  And as I get older, I am not convinced that is always a good thing.  I treasure special gifts but we have so many material things.  Most people do in this country.  Even the poor among us have much more than people in other lands.

So...this year we are giving to ministries that we support in prayer or that are connected to our own church.  For example:  some dear friends of ours at church work for Youth for Christ. They are also youth group leaders in our church and do a lot for our teens.  We will write that organization a check for Christmas.

We support a missionary family who is stationed in Ethiopia.  We will send them some funds.  Dave usually is the one who determines how much we will send.  We also support a couple who is expecting their first child.  They live out in the western NY area and minister to teens who come from dysfunctional homes. And not all of those teens are financially poor.  This couple's salary is based on what Christians give to them! They have great faith and are a blessing in our lives.  In fact, he used to be one of our youth group leaders at church!  And we will each fill a box for Operation Christmas Child....in fact, my oldest daughter is once again organizing this project at her high school!  She has the support of the Christian Club and they are opening it up to any student who wants to participate.

We base our giving on Scripture.  Yes...we tithe.  We firmly believe that every Christian should be tithing a tenth of their income to their local church body.  It is Scriptural.  We have seen God's hand in this...and sometimes I have been against this but....we always see the blessing.  It might not be a monetary blessing but there is always a blessing of some sort.

Here are some Scriptures I am trying to teach my daughters to apply in their own futures:

 "therefore I command thee, saying, Thou shalt open thine hand wide unto thy brother, to thy poor, and to thy needy, in thy land."

Deut. 15:11b

"Command those who are rich in this present age not to be haughty, nor to trust in uncertain riches but in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy.  Let them do good, that they be rich in good works, ready to give, willing to share, storing up for themselves a good foundation for the time to come, that they may lay hold on eternal life." I Timothy 6: 17-19 

"He who gives to the poor will not lack.  But he who hides his eyes will have many curses."  Proverbs 28:27 

God has given us many blessings, both material things and spiritual riches.  The holiday season, Thanksgiving and Christmas, are perfect times of the year to be careful with our finances.  God wants us to use wisdom.  He wants us to tithe.  He wants us to give to the needy.  He wants us to be more like Jesus!  He wants us to be content in all things......He wants us to draw closer and become more intimate with Him!  

We can be a servant of Jesus by serving or giving to others.  

Yes...it is ok to have material possessions.  What woman doesn't enjoy a brand new___________(fill in the blank!).  What man doesn't want to own a ______________?  What teen doesn't desire a _____________? and what child doesn't want to see special gifts under the tree?

We can enjoy that, but we also, as a married couple, want to see God's Kingdom advanced. I like the following quote I saw on a Christian website about stewardship.  The author is unknown. 

"We are supposed to manage these blessings to advance His Kingdom, not to please our fleshly desires." 

  We want to bless the missionaries who are out there being the hands and feet of Jesus. Dave and I are not career missionaries so we feel it is important to help serve the ones who are!  We want to share what we have been given.  Yes...we need to use wisdom.  We can't always write a check for just any organization that sends us letters in the mail. We can't help support every single ministry our church is involved in. We tend to support the ones that our children engage in or that are dear to our hearts or that God specifically shows us to invest in.  

I was telling Dave about this post and he said he likes to give money well ahead of the holiday season so that the missionaries and other organizations have the money in time to shop for Christmas. I like that!  As we begin to send out our checks and gifts to these very special servants of God, we are trying to teach our daughters that giving at Holiday times are just the beginning.  We are to continue to give throughout the year, as God puts them on our hearts.

Yes...we will spend some money on each other at Christmas.  My daughters will receive many things from their list.  They won't receive everything on it and there might be a couple of gifts under the tree that they do not expect at all!  Yes, we have a budget.  It is not something we discuss ad nauseum however!  Dave knows I am the one who enjoys the shopping (for the most part) and I am the one who has the time to do it. I tend to give gift certificates now that the girls are older and we hit the mall the week after Xmas to get the sales.  Dave and I spend less than $100 on each other typically.  It wasn't always that way...we used to spend A LOT!  But over the years, other things have become more important to us. Courtney and I have "gifts" as our primary love language.  If we could, we would really over -spend and want others to over-spend on us! lol.....we love gifts.....

But the greatest gift we are planning on receiving is the Greatest Gift of all.  We look forward to celebrating the birth of our Savior and Redeemer.  We look forward to entertaining friends and family and trying to be the hands and feet of Jesus.  We look forward to His mercies and faithfulness...to His forgiveness and grace!

Holiday spending??  You betcha!  but...within reason, with wisdom, in agreement,  and with making sure we are being stewards for God's Kingdom.

and THAT will reduce the stress of the season......