The "What If's".

Well, it's starting to sink in that my oldest daughter is actually graduating from high school.  If you have your speaker turned on, you can hear the first song on my playlist (Graduation by Vitamin C).  Ever since her computer teacher from elementary school made a cd for all the parents of graduating 6th graders, we have had plans to use this for her high school graduation.  It will probably be playing in the background for her picture slideshow at the party.  Anyways.......graduation from high school!!!!!

It's a little scary to me.  She is ready.  Am I??

I know she is ready academically for college.  I think she is ready spiritually.....it helps that she will be at a Christian college that stresses small group involvement, finding a local church, and attending chapel on campus during the week for X amount of times during a semester.  (they have some kind of card scanning thing).

It's the other stuff I tend to fret about.  And it's probably coming from my over active imagination rather than reality.

It all started last night when one of my good friends texted me about a friend of hers whose daughter is dying from brain cancer.  This daughter is a college-aged young adult!!  I was overcome with sadness.  I couldn't imagine how this mother must be suffering by watching her child suffer.

I began to pray for my own daughters, like I do every night, after lifting up this lady and her child, and I found my self beginning to fret along these lines:  "what if Courtney becomes ill and doesn't take care of herself or go to the health office while at college?"  "what if she doesn't remember all the safety rules I've taught her and gets mugged, kidnapped, hurt while on the train to Boston?" "what if she decides to engage in reckless behavior?" "what if she doesn't eat right?"  "what if she gets cancer?"

And that's when the quiet whisper of the Lord became the Voice I heard over my own worried and anxious voice......He spoke to me and said there are no guarantees in life (gee, ya think, God?? I kinda already know this!)  And then He reminded me that I am placing my daughter in His Hands each and every night, and have for the last 17 1/2 years.  I am not so naive to think that I can just say "in Jesus name" and she will be spared any physical, emotional, mental or spiritual pain.  I know every human being has some kind of pain to live through, at some point...because this broken, fallen world is a sinful one.  It is life.  And I have done my best to equip her with the knowledge that God watches out for her, that He has her purposes and plans already formed in His mind and that we don't have control over our future if we are submitting our lives to Christ daily.  God reminded me that just like I placed her in His care during her baby dedication way back in 1993, so too, I can place her in His Hands for this time of transition to college life.  He sees her, He knows her, He knows what was, was is, and what is to come.

Courtney, age 17 photographer:  M. Cornick 2011

All I need to do is press in to the assurance that God will give me (and my husband and other daughter) the strength and grace to bear whatever comes in this journey for Courtney.

And I don't need to worry about the "what if's"