The small group, Got Teens?!, is wrapping up our 3rd study book since we began as a group! We have been studying the book Parenting with Purpose and Grace and it has been a wonderful experience! Our group is very tight- knit now, and although we lost one member as she had to move out of state (we miss you, Amy!!), we gained a member (welcome, Kerry). Our newest member happens to be the wife of our high school orchestra teacher. My oldest was blessed to have him as a teacher in junior high, and then again in the high school for her last 2 years. My youngest will have him in a couple of years, too! We first met them in a marriage small group when we were new to GF church, as they were, too! Come to find out, he was one of Courtney's teachers! We were thrilled to learn that he is also a Christian! So....welcome to Kerry...she has already blessed us with her words of wisdom and intellect with teenage development (she is a guidance counselor in a district near ours).
As a group, we have formed our vision and I've submitted it to our new pastor of discipleship whom the church hired last autumn. It is a blessing to have him lead all of the small group leaders...I am learning a lot from his direction and Biblical wisdom.
We have some fun social events planned for this summer for our families and are looking forward to our next study book which will center around spiritual strongholds in today's family and how to protect our teenagers from spiritual bondage. (the enemy's strongholds). It looks like a great study! You can find it on the sidebar.
Our latest Summary Notes:
We discussed Chapter 9 and cancelled Chapter 8 (Discipline) since we've studied the topic of discipline vs. appropriate punishment in previous sessions. We all have a good handle on discipline and teens! :)
Chapter 9 centers around the parable of the Prodigal Son. We read the entire parable as found in Luke 15 and basically decided that this is a picture that Jesus gave us of the character of our Heavenly Father...(the boys' father). It is a picture of us (the sinners) running into the Father's Arms and being forgiven after we repent.
We discussed how teens are, or tend to be, turbulent....the years of teen development are when they are learning greater independence and they often rebel against parents and other authority figures. Some teens (Christian and non!) make wrong choices, challenge authority, rebel against the church/values/belief system, and seek their own identity (this is healthy..the seeking of their own identity usually occurs at about age 15-16..they no longer try to be like everyone else in clothing, music preference, hobbies, etc.). This often leads to conflict in the home. We talked (again!) about picking our battles and sometimes, like the father in the parable, of letting our children go their own way. Sometimes teenagers learn best by failing or "falling down". This is NOT a reflection on US as the parents. It MIGHT be a reflection on bad parenting style but it is our attitude towards the wayward child that reflects back on us.
We want to watch how we respond to a wayward or struggling teen.
They are watching our character!! We are to model Christ-like behavior and keep the door open to our children!!
We discussed question 2: the character of the younger son was one of impatience, greed, self-indulgence, immaturity, and not putting God first in his life. (based on verses 12-16).
We discussed how the father might have known his son was not ready for this big step of going off on his own with all that inheritance but that the father allowed it for the son's character to grow. The father expected the son to return!
We discussed times from our past where we got our own way and the trouble it might have brought into our lives. (I can't share those testimonies here as they are too personal for an open blog).
Discussion of question 6: we determined that the father "ran to the son" (verse 20) because it is important for our teens to see us as caring and forgiving!! The father met the son before he was half-way home!! This is what God does with us!! The father's character was godly...this is how we need to be with our own teens: merciful, forgiving and full of grace!!
We then talked about the importance of forgiveness for all of our relationships. That this is the basis of our Christianity and model for our children!! I discussed some personal aspects of forgiveness and we will be adding to that over the next few sessions. (bringing personal accounts to our group is meaningful and helps all of us "do life" together. We tend to "go deep" as a group now that we all feel "safe" with each other and have committed to be confidential and edifying/encouraging to one another..this is how the Lord wants us to be in our relationships/friendships!)
Our last discussion with this book will be centered about the importance of "letting go" of our children. We "let go" gradually in their early childhood and elementary development. And then as they become pre-teens (tweens) and teenagers, we begin to "let go" more rapidly.....this is something we need to learn to do as parents! We will also briefly discuss how to prepare our child for college. Our next meeting is Thursday, 1 March.
how are YOU doing as a mom?? Do you extend forgiveness, grace, and mercy to your teenager??
As a group, we have formed our vision and I've submitted it to our new pastor of discipleship whom the church hired last autumn. It is a blessing to have him lead all of the small group leaders...I am learning a lot from his direction and Biblical wisdom.
We have some fun social events planned for this summer for our families and are looking forward to our next study book which will center around spiritual strongholds in today's family and how to protect our teenagers from spiritual bondage. (the enemy's strongholds). It looks like a great study! You can find it on the sidebar.
Our latest Summary Notes:
We discussed Chapter 9 and cancelled Chapter 8 (Discipline) since we've studied the topic of discipline vs. appropriate punishment in previous sessions. We all have a good handle on discipline and teens! :)
Chapter 9 centers around the parable of the Prodigal Son. We read the entire parable as found in Luke 15 and basically decided that this is a picture that Jesus gave us of the character of our Heavenly Father...(the boys' father). It is a picture of us (the sinners) running into the Father's Arms and being forgiven after we repent.
We discussed how teens are, or tend to be, turbulent....the years of teen development are when they are learning greater independence and they often rebel against parents and other authority figures. Some teens (Christian and non!) make wrong choices, challenge authority, rebel against the church/values/belief system, and seek their own identity (this is healthy..the seeking of their own identity usually occurs at about age 15-16..they no longer try to be like everyone else in clothing, music preference, hobbies, etc.). This often leads to conflict in the home. We talked (again!) about picking our battles and sometimes, like the father in the parable, of letting our children go their own way. Sometimes teenagers learn best by failing or "falling down". This is NOT a reflection on US as the parents. It MIGHT be a reflection on bad parenting style but it is our attitude towards the wayward child that reflects back on us.
We want to watch how we respond to a wayward or struggling teen.
They are watching our character!! We are to model Christ-like behavior and keep the door open to our children!!
We discussed question 2: the character of the younger son was one of impatience, greed, self-indulgence, immaturity, and not putting God first in his life. (based on verses 12-16).
We discussed how the father might have known his son was not ready for this big step of going off on his own with all that inheritance but that the father allowed it for the son's character to grow. The father expected the son to return!
We discussed times from our past where we got our own way and the trouble it might have brought into our lives. (I can't share those testimonies here as they are too personal for an open blog).
Discussion of question 6: we determined that the father "ran to the son" (verse 20) because it is important for our teens to see us as caring and forgiving!! The father met the son before he was half-way home!! This is what God does with us!! The father's character was godly...this is how we need to be with our own teens: merciful, forgiving and full of grace!!
We then talked about the importance of forgiveness for all of our relationships. That this is the basis of our Christianity and model for our children!! I discussed some personal aspects of forgiveness and we will be adding to that over the next few sessions. (bringing personal accounts to our group is meaningful and helps all of us "do life" together. We tend to "go deep" as a group now that we all feel "safe" with each other and have committed to be confidential and edifying/encouraging to one another..this is how the Lord wants us to be in our relationships/friendships!)
Our last discussion with this book will be centered about the importance of "letting go" of our children. We "let go" gradually in their early childhood and elementary development. And then as they become pre-teens (tweens) and teenagers, we begin to "let go" more rapidly.....this is something we need to learn to do as parents! We will also briefly discuss how to prepare our child for college. Our next meeting is Thursday, 1 March.
how are YOU doing as a mom?? Do you extend forgiveness, grace, and mercy to your teenager??
2 comments:
I think it's wonderful that you have a group that focuses specifically on parenting. Parenting is such a hard thing on your own and so much better when you have a supportive trusting group to rely on. This sounds like a wonderful topic this week. I know someone who is already growing through the turbulence with their 12 year old so they are a little shell shocked right now. I hope you don't mind that I forward this post.
Susanne!! No i don't mind at all!! If your friend is a Believer she might really like the book Got Teens or Parenting with Purpose and Grace. Age 14 with my oldest was the tough year and age 12 with my youngest was tough...now that she's 13 it isn't too bad....but...those hormones are a changin' and wow....turbulent teens for sure! Yes, I am thankful the Lord put it on my heart to start a small group. Our church has many many small groups but not many focus on teen issues....it also helps that most of the women are my closest friends...we have grown together in the Lord. It's a blessing.
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