"Even when the rainbow seems to pass right by me....I'm still finding Gold in the clouds....."

22 July 2014

Summer Morning

So this morning...........such a hot, humid one!  Our local weather says it is going to be a day for central air.  I'm so thankful I have it in my car and in my home!!

On the way home this morning from my chiropractor appointment, I was feeling a bit discouraged...and a little anxious about this low back pain I've been experiencing off and on for the last month.  I know I have arthritis in my lower back and I know I have a disk that can bulge like it did 2 years ago.  I know this current problem is why I'm also being treated by him for the plantar faciitis.  I know this chiro team is a good one because they helped to get me pain free and doing awesome fitness workouts before.  But for some reason, this morning, I was most anxious and I don't get anxious all that often.  When I do, though, it can be crippling and all these negative thoughts start running through my mind.

To combat this, I turned on the Christian radio station and the following song is what I heard:

and I became undone.

I started to cry!!  In the car!!  While driving!!  I felt tears slipping out of my eyes and down my cheeks and I realized that even though I have been doing devotionals all summer and going to church quite regularly except when we were on vacation, that I have been holding on to this anxiety and not fully giving the worries and fears over to Christ.  He wants to take them from me, but He doesn't force us!!  We have to surrender....every part of our selves. 

Between dealing with menopausal issues and this back pain, I am a mess of negativity!

And God doesn't want that for me!

He wants us to abide in Him...to surrender ALL to Him...every sin, every thought, every anxiety, every pain, every joy, every triumph, every trial.

I started praying aloud in the car and a sense of peace came over me.......a confidence that the chiropractor does indeed know what he is doing, but that God is even bigger than Dr. N.

That the upcoming ultrasound I have is going to be ok.  That God will get me through that next week and that He has me in the Palm of His Hand.  He made my body, he made my mind, he made my heart.

I will continue to worship Him and press in and surrender each day...........surrender those thoughts that are negative and do no earthly good. 

 And trust Him.


Deb said...

I also get overcome with Anxiety sometimes, so this post really helped me. One of my favorite quotes is from Jeffrey R. Holland..."We need to remember that He is God and we are not." I am also trying to pray more, worry less and give my fears to God. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Melanie Lopata said...

Wow, Faith, that was beautiful! I was brought to tears myself. It's so difficult for me to surrender things to Him. And when I do "let go" I usually end up taking back at some point. Huge weakness of mine. But I'm learning. I recently started a journal just for noting my walk with God, favorite Bible verses, prayers, etc. Hoping it gets me out of my dry spell and closer to God. Thanks for posting this :)

Susanne said...

Surrendering all our anxieties is sometimes the hardest thing. Sometimes I have to do it a dozen times a day. But He is faithful.