Last evening, my 2 daughters and my self lounged on my bed and went to the selection in our devotional book we have been studying together. The title of the devotional is "the real "in" group". The Sripture reference for this study is from 1 Corinthians 3: 21 "don't take pride in following a particular leader. Everything belongs to you."
We began to discuss the study after I read the anecdote. The teaching centered around how we have our worth (self-respect, self-esteem) from belonging to Jesus! The girls and I learned together that yes, they both tend to "worry" about what others think of them, particularly at school. My 14 year old expressed how she doesn't really worry about "fitting in" because she is in a great group of friends and she has plenty of self confidence and really does grasp the fact that her worth is in Christ. However, she did share that there is a girl she knows from orchestra who gets "made fun of" for not wearing the trendy clothes or if she wears them, she doesn't know how to put outfits together. I was able to share that she needs to take a stand towards kindness and compassion. She said "but Mom, clothes are very important in high school, especially where we live. Everyone is expected to have the (certain clothing labels fit here) "right" brand. I told her it is ok to have nice clothes, certain trends are fine with modesty being number 1 factor in my household, but that some teens may not have parents with the means of income to purchase those items, the teen might just not WANT those items, or the teen just was never taught by the mom on how to put outfits together. This led to a discussion, with the 8 year old joining in (she is not at the age where clothes really matter other than sneaker brand!), that in God's eyes, those things do not matter! We discussed that yes, God has designed us to have friendships/relationships that are rewarding. But that our friendships can get out of balance if one thinks they are more important or worthy than another. If we belong to Christ then we are daughters (or sons) of the King! We are worth so much to Him that He sent His Son to die for us and our sins. And if we accept Him as personal Savior, we can be with Him through all eternity.....and that is the most valuable thing ever! The girls were very attentive and participated in this discussion because they both see this concept "in real life". They both know there are more "in" kids in certain groups. We talked about how they both know children/teens who are "less popular" and get made "fun of". We talked about showing the Love of God and including these kids in their own groups or at least reaching out to them in friendship or speaking up if they hear another child being a bully.
We examined how in 1 Cor. 1: 10-13, the early church also had problems with cliques! They were arguing over who was more important in the church! This led to a discussion of how they feel much more comfortable (this mainly came from my teen) in our new church (new? we have been there for 2 full years now!) because the church is taught by the pastor that there are core (essential) Biblical truths/beliefs that we as a body stand for. And that there are conviction areas, and that there are preference areas. An example of a core belief is: Jesus died on the cross and rose again and is coming back to the earth again some day. An example of a conviction is: it might be ok for me to have a glass of wine with dinner but to my friend, she cannot drink wine as she feels it will hinder her spiritual walk. An example of a preference is: I like the contemporary hymns and songs, my sister prefers praise choruses, my friend prefers traditional hymns. My teen told me she often "felt different" in our old church because she was the only one to go to public school in our district...there were no other girls her age who went to school with her. Now she knows many Christian teens at the high school and she knows homeschooled teens who don't make her feel like she is doing something "wrong". They are all in youth group together and the teens know different families have different preferences for education! They are not made to feel like they are not "as Christian". They like that there are many different kinds of kids, including special needs kids, in their new church. I had never realized that our children were feeling this way about Christians in their own church setting! We praised the Lord for allowing us to transition to a church that "gets" the "3-circle" thing (essentials, convictions, preferences) and we prayed that we would really know in our own hearts that we really are "In" because we are daughters of the King!
We began to discuss the study after I read the anecdote. The teaching centered around how we have our worth (self-respect, self-esteem) from belonging to Jesus! The girls and I learned together that yes, they both tend to "worry" about what others think of them, particularly at school. My 14 year old expressed how she doesn't really worry about "fitting in" because she is in a great group of friends and she has plenty of self confidence and really does grasp the fact that her worth is in Christ. However, she did share that there is a girl she knows from orchestra who gets "made fun of" for not wearing the trendy clothes or if she wears them, she doesn't know how to put outfits together. I was able to share that she needs to take a stand towards kindness and compassion. She said "but Mom, clothes are very important in high school, especially where we live. Everyone is expected to have the (certain clothing labels fit here) "right" brand. I told her it is ok to have nice clothes, certain trends are fine with modesty being number 1 factor in my household, but that some teens may not have parents with the means of income to purchase those items, the teen might just not WANT those items, or the teen just was never taught by the mom on how to put outfits together. This led to a discussion, with the 8 year old joining in (she is not at the age where clothes really matter other than sneaker brand!), that in God's eyes, those things do not matter! We discussed that yes, God has designed us to have friendships/relationships that are rewarding. But that our friendships can get out of balance if one thinks they are more important or worthy than another. If we belong to Christ then we are daughters (or sons) of the King! We are worth so much to Him that He sent His Son to die for us and our sins. And if we accept Him as personal Savior, we can be with Him through all eternity.....and that is the most valuable thing ever! The girls were very attentive and participated in this discussion because they both see this concept "in real life". They both know there are more "in" kids in certain groups. We talked about how they both know children/teens who are "less popular" and get made "fun of". We talked about showing the Love of God and including these kids in their own groups or at least reaching out to them in friendship or speaking up if they hear another child being a bully.
We examined how in 1 Cor. 1: 10-13, the early church also had problems with cliques! They were arguing over who was more important in the church! This led to a discussion of how they feel much more comfortable (this mainly came from my teen) in our new church (new? we have been there for 2 full years now!) because the church is taught by the pastor that there are core (essential) Biblical truths/beliefs that we as a body stand for. And that there are conviction areas, and that there are preference areas. An example of a core belief is: Jesus died on the cross and rose again and is coming back to the earth again some day. An example of a conviction is: it might be ok for me to have a glass of wine with dinner but to my friend, she cannot drink wine as she feels it will hinder her spiritual walk. An example of a preference is: I like the contemporary hymns and songs, my sister prefers praise choruses, my friend prefers traditional hymns. My teen told me she often "felt different" in our old church because she was the only one to go to public school in our district...there were no other girls her age who went to school with her. Now she knows many Christian teens at the high school and she knows homeschooled teens who don't make her feel like she is doing something "wrong". They are all in youth group together and the teens know different families have different preferences for education! They are not made to feel like they are not "as Christian". They like that there are many different kinds of kids, including special needs kids, in their new church. I had never realized that our children were feeling this way about Christians in their own church setting! We praised the Lord for allowing us to transition to a church that "gets" the "3-circle" thing (essentials, convictions, preferences) and we prayed that we would really know in our own hearts that we really are "In" because we are daughters of the King!
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