Are you involved in any kind of ministry, especially in a leadership role such as small group leader, teen leader, children's leader/teacher, or do you volunteer/work at a crisis pregnancy center, domestic violence shelter/center, rehab center, nursing home/senior center, hospital, or other non-profit agency? Are you a pastor's wife/pastor, peer counselor, or leading any type of group?
Do you know someone who is experiencing one (or more) of the following?
- Physical disability
- Job loss
- Caregiver burnout
- Infertility
- Miscarriage/ post abortion syndrome
- Unwanted pregnancy
- Birth of special needs child
- Divorce/Marital problems
- Natural disaster
- Hospitalization/life-threatening illness/chronic pain
- Parenting struggles/prodigal child/empty nest syndrome
- Depression
It is all about how to relate to those who are suffering.
The author, Kenneth C. Haugk, Ph.D., knows first hand about suffering. He lost his wife to cancer. He knows what hurts and what comforts.
I love the title of this book. It is taken from Proverbs 25: 20 which says:
"Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day,
or like vinegar poured on soda,
is one who sings songs to a heavy heart."
or like vinegar poured on soda,
is one who sings songs to a heavy heart."
This means that just like it is uncaring to take off a person's coat on a frigid, cold day, or just like it gets really messy when you pour vinegar on top of baking soda, you can really screw things up if you say cheery things to a person with a heavy heart. It is talking about the false cheeriness of caregivers who gloss over the sufferer's pain.
AND...this does not just apply to persons in the role of "caregiver" but the entire church body.
We all have been on the receiving end of hurtful remarks in the time of pain (emotional, spiritual or physical). We all have been the giver of pain, perhaps. Certainly not intentionally. However.....
This book will help you to deal with all kinds of issues and what to say and what not to say!
Practical things to do for a person in pain.
Certain standard sayings we all have either heard or spoken which we think are Biblical, but in fact, are not! (e.g. "God doesn't give you any more than you can handle" or "It is God's will").
Read this book!
I am glad it is a requirement at my church to take a small group leadership course.
I am really glad this book is handed out at the training course because this is one book that should be on every Christian's bookshelf. At the close of the class, we are highly encouraged to read this book. The church gives them out for free! And we can keep them! (thank goodness...I often refer to it!)
I wish I had had this book when I was working at the crisis pregnancy center.
Some of this stuff you will already know, especially those of us in the teaching, counseling, social work, or psychology fields.
Read it....you will be glad you did!
I recommend this for college-aged students as well as adults, especially for students going into any of the "helping" professions.
AND...this does not just apply to persons in the role of "caregiver" but the entire church body.
We all have been on the receiving end of hurtful remarks in the time of pain (emotional, spiritual or physical). We all have been the giver of pain, perhaps. Certainly not intentionally. However.....
This book will help you to deal with all kinds of issues and what to say and what not to say!
Practical things to do for a person in pain.
Certain standard sayings we all have either heard or spoken which we think are Biblical, but in fact, are not! (e.g. "God doesn't give you any more than you can handle" or "It is God's will").
Read this book!
I am glad it is a requirement at my church to take a small group leadership course.
I am really glad this book is handed out at the training course because this is one book that should be on every Christian's bookshelf. At the close of the class, we are highly encouraged to read this book. The church gives them out for free! And we can keep them! (thank goodness...I often refer to it!)
I wish I had had this book when I was working at the crisis pregnancy center.
Some of this stuff you will already know, especially those of us in the teaching, counseling, social work, or psychology fields.
Read it....you will be glad you did!
I recommend this for college-aged students as well as adults, especially for students going into any of the "helping" professions.
2 comments:
This sounds like a very good book! I'll have to see if my church library can get it.
Sounds like a winner of a book, Faith. I'll put it on my wish list. This kind of resource is soooooo needed.
I've often thought about why we say cheery things to sad people, and it's for US, not for them. I think it's a defense against empathizing with their sorrow. It's much harder to enter in and feel their pain. At times I catch myself doing it, and I don't like it.
Thanks for the review and the reminder. :~D
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