"Even when the rainbow seems to pass right by me....I'm still finding Gold in the clouds....."

18 November 2008

How Does a Mom Explain this??

How does a mom explain a tragic death?

How do students react to news of a much loved teacher's daughter dying? Tragically and suddenly?

How do colleagues and school staff respond to this teacher? To her family? How do they explain it to the student body?

Over the weekend, a very much loved music teacher in our school district, had to deal with a sudden tragic loss. I'll call her K. I met her last year, my first at the elementary school where I am working. She had been the music teacher there for years. This summer she accepted a position at the high school in our district. My daughter's friend has her for a music class and for theatre. She had a developmentally delayed daughter in her early 20's. I did not know that information at the time but now, looking back at the way she interacted with the special needs kindergartners last year in her music class, I can see where she acquired the knowledge and understanding of their needs. She is an awesome teacher. Her daughter was working at a day care center.

Well, her daughter had some kind of cardiac failure over the weekend and stopped breathing for about 10 minutes.Boom. The brain, as we know, needs the oxygen to function properly. She had to be put on life support. They faced the decision of whether to keep her on or not. If she was kept on, she would be brain-dead. This was a sudden thing.

Last nite, the doctors decided to take her off life support. I do not know details.
I do know that of the Christian moms and Christian teachers in the district whom I have spoken to (there are way more than just the few I spoke with), every one of us has been praying for K. We love her. Her son is away at college about 3 hours north of here where he is majoring in music. Just like his mom. Now, he has lost his sister and only sibling. We pray for him.

The one good thing that came from this is that the parents (K and her husband) did not have to make the decision to take her off the life support. The doctors did it for them. I think it is because she was so young and didn't have a proxy yet. I cannot imagine having to make that decison. About a daughter!

My oldest daughter, since she goes to the high school, heard the news before I did as her school day starts earlier than mine. I wish I could have been there to explain things to Courtney. I had to wait until after school while we were on the way to her dr's appt.
How do explain this?
Tonite, I need to explain it to my 9 year old as there will be teachers in her school who will want to attend the funeral. The teachers and staff will be talking about it I am sure and there might be a moment of silence for her. Our school district is like that.

I guess I will give the explanation that God is still in control. He loves us. No matter what circumstances surround us. He loves K. It might not seem like it to our earthly, human minds. How could a loving God take away this young daughter? We can't even begin to know the mind of God. He has His reasons. Sometimes life is tough. It brings death suddenly. Sometimes death comes to the innocent and young. It often does not make sense.

but....He still loves us.

And I guess that is the explanation I will have to use tonite....He loves us. We cannot know His mind. Not all things will be revealed to us here on earth.

Please keep K and her family in your prayers.


Susanne said...

Faith, I'm sorry to hear of the death of a fellow teacher's daughter. It's always very hard to find words to explain to children, but I think what you've chosen is what I would say too. God knows all and we only see a part. We must trust that he knows best. Saying a prayer that God will bless your words.

Mrs. C said...

How very sad! Praying the Lord will give you wisdom as you seek to teach your girls that God has a plan and knows best in all situations.

Anonymous said...

This is so sad Faith. I remember struggling for words with Jesse when that young man that he went to school with killed himself last year. Jesse still talks about that from time to time. I feel so bad for this Mom, I'll be praying for her.


Faith said...

Hi Susanne: Thank you for your prayers!
Claire didn't have much of a reaction other than asking what exactly is life support...I told her in a very simple way and then told her what is in my husband's will and mine....

Mrs C: Thanks for praying!

Erin: yes, I remember when you dealt with that with Jesse....so tragic. This teacher just started working at SHS. All the music staff love her.

Susan said...

Oh I'm so sorry to read this news.

I'll be praying for her family now.


Trying to Stay Calm! said...

What a great blog you have here :)