"Even when the rainbow seems to pass right by me....I'm still finding Gold in the clouds....."

29 March 2009

Why, God?


At the end of today's sermon we watched a video clip of a testimony of one of the members of our congregation.
Now, remember, I attend a "mega-church" here in my town, along with a satellite church in another town a bit north of here so...we are LARGE! There is no way we can know everyone. However, I do know the man who gave the testimony; my husband and I were in a marriage small group that he and his wife were also in about 3 years ago. The man's name is Bill. He is one of our drama ministry leaders. He is a funny guy. A comedian in the various skits that are done at times in our church.
But, there was nothing funny about his testimony. (Our pastor has just started a series called Grace and Truth. Part of his sermon will include video clips of members' testimonies).
Bill's testimony today was about how he came to know the Lord in a personal way.
It happened after his 2nd daughter was born. She is a teenager now, with the developmental level of a 4 month old baby. She is severely impaired in all areas. He spoke about how he kept asking God "why me?" One day the Lord spoke to him and said "why not you?" That is when he turned his life over to the Lord and started living for Christ.
It made me think. Would I also ask "Why me God?" if I had given birth to a very handicapped child? Would I turn to God or run away from Him?

I did ask "why, God?" when we found out that our youngest (Claire) had a cyst on her ovary.
We found out from my first ultrasound with her in my womb. When the dr. said she saw a cyst, I thought she meant on ME! It was on my baby's ovary. We were having another girl.
I was told these cysts are fairly common and most often "dissolve" during the birthing process.
It didn't.
She ended up needing it removed at 10 weeks old.
That was one of the toughest things I have ever had to live through.
We had much prayer support from our church (our former church in Troy, NY). Many people tried to tell us she would be healed. She wasn't. My faith, and my husband's faith, was tested. We prayed for complete healing for our baby. She wasn't healed miraculously.

She did have the surgery and it did turn out to be a non-cancerous cyst.
But...she did need her ovary and fallopian tube removed (and they took her appendix as well).
Someday this summer I will have the "pleasure" of explaining her reproductive system to her. This is the summer where I have to have "the talk" anyways, about her bodily changes that might take place in the next couple of years (she is 10). My husband and I figure this will be a good time to fully explain her surgery and what it all means for her future. (she can still get pregnant. She will just have less of a chance than if she had 2 ovaries).

I can keep asking "Why?" God but it really is pointless.

We don't always understand why God allows what He allows. And we may never know this side of heaven.
I don't know why my friend from church asked me to pray for someone I don't even know and probably will never know. But....again, someone who is in a wheelchair, lives way out in Montana, and needs a physical healing as well as needs to know the Lord in a personal way.

So...I pray.
I pray for Bill and his wife and their daughter.
I pray for my own daughter and her future.
I pray for the high school student who is lying in a coma after a roller blading accident just last week.
I pray for past parenting clients whom I see from time to time, with the same struggles and frustrations.
I pray for this woman who is now paralyzed whom I don't even know.
I pray for all the abused children I have met and have known and have had the privelage of having in my class.
I look at the special needs children in the classroom where I work now, and I pray.
I pray for my self. To not be cynical. To not stop believing in miracles. To trust in unseen things.

To trust in a God who keeps the sun rising and setting....who keeps the tides moving.
To trust in a God who brings life. and death.
To trust in a God who sees all, and knows all, and loves all.

6 comments:

Persuaded said...

what a wonderful, wonderful post♥

if there is one thing i have learned in this life it's that we must trust Him. even when it seems that the "worst" is finally happened, one can live in a state of contentment and peace just because we know that He is in control.

Kimberly said...

This is so beautiful, Faith. And truly, so much of this life ends up being a choice...where we can surrender and trust in Him and find that peace that passes all understanding, or where we can become embittered towards Him and end up so miserable.

I am so glad we have the truth of His Word to cling to, to remind us that He is worthy to be trusted.

Blessings, sweet Faith. Your heart of surrender to Him is beautiful to see.
Love and prayers,
K

Susanne said...

It's easy to say we'll trust Him when we are in "good" times, but it's the hard times that really show and grow our faith. How would we ever know where our faith stood if it was never tried. This was a great post, Faith. Why not, indeed?!

Just as an aside, they saw my son's kidney was swollen in an ultrasound when I was still pregnant with him. It was because of that that he got the good care and follow up that he needed to make sure that kidney was working. If not for it showing up on my ultrasound we would not have known unless major problems presented. I believe it was all the grace of God. Those ultrasounds are amazing.

Sandy@ Jesus and Dark Chocolate said...

Amen to your prayers and thoughts Faith!
I think I have the tendency to ask Why Me??? But as I continue to see God's work in my life and others, I do truly understand that it is about trust, even when situations are dire.
Thanks for a great post! :)

Homemanager said...

Excellent post, Faith! thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart.

e-Mom said...

This post brings tears to my eyes... I appreciate your compassionate heart Faith. :~D