When We Fear our Fears

I am not often a fearful person.  I never really have been.

At various times I've feared certain things. Like when I had lyme disease that went undiagnosed and misdiagnosed for over 8 months.  But even then there was a deep peace in my soul that said NO...this is something bacterial...i know my body.  And I truly FELT the peace of God settle into me as I waded through that tumultuous time.

As a mom, I've had some fears over the years but for the most part, I have entrusted my daughters to Christ and in so doing, I've reaped the blessing of the peace that passes understanding.  This doesn't mean I've placed them in a bubble nor constantly hovered over them. I just trust God to take care of my daughters.  AND I"ve used the wisdom He has given me and the skills He has given me to teach them how to take care of themselves.  To train them in the ways of the world...to be somewhat "street smart" about things like pedophiles, drinks that are set down at parties, dating, bullying, etc. About taking care of their bodies and eating healthful and participating in various activities to be "well rounded" and physically active.

What I didn't anticipate was my fear of not being able to make a good decision when it comes to certain medical or dental treatments or procedures.

Recently, we had Claire's(age 13) ortho appointment where they did the 2nd set of X-rays to see how things are going with the permanent spacer they placed in her mouth for the bottom teeth about a year ago. Yes, the teeth shifted a tiny bit but they were now saying that her last baby tooth would have to be pulled so they could get the braces on next month. And that is when my fears set in.

I haven't feared the braces nor the procedure.  We had already been through 4 years of orthodontics with our oldest daughter.  She started the process in 5th grade, got the braces in 6th grade and wore them until the middle of 8th grade. Her teeth are perfect and beautiful.  Her mouth was extremely small and teeth were not fitting.  They widened her mouth and everything went well.  I  knew what to expect based on past experience.

BUT....Claire has a big mouth! Seriously, there is room in her mouth BUT she has posterior overbite.. It is minimal.  And this is where my fears began:  why should we pay for another round of orthodontics at about $5400 when it appears she doesn't really need it?  I have a slight posterior overbite as well. My parents didn't  give ME braces and my teeth are fine. (other than a small crooked one on bottom).  And the fear:  but what if we don't and her enamel wears down by the time she is 40?  and another fear: but if we do the procedure, will  she be angry with us because she really doesn't want them? And yet, we are the parents.  Does she really have a choice? No. BUT....what if she really doesn't need them????  all these tangled thoughts and fears were running in my mind for the last few weeks.

So I began to pray for her.  And she was accepting of the fact that she would (most likely) be getting braces.

And I started praying about the whole procedure. 

And that is when God whispered in that still small Voice of His asking me "why aren't you trusting Me?"  

I kept getting the sense, all last weekend, that we should NOT be going through with braces for our youngest child.  It has nothing to do with money because we learned that we can get a large portion of our cost reimbursed from the dental plan we have.  It had nothing to do with Claire's fears because she had already accepted the fact that she would be getting braces for 18 months. 

Bascially, God wanted me to let go of this fear of making a mistake in this area of our parenting.

And to trust Him. Pure and simple. Just trust Him.

Will this mean He will do some kind of miracle and give her a different bite in the future?

We don't know.

But...we are NOT going to fear our decision about NOT going through with the braces.

"For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not; I will help you!"  Isaiah 41: 13

I will be making the phone call tomorrow.

I know what God is telling Dave and I to do and Dave confirmed it today via a text message to me.  I told him I really needed him to make a decision based on our talks and prayer.  He told me "go ahead and cancel the ortho".

As soon as I read that, a peace came over me.  For a few minutes. But...right after that I felt that nagging sense of fear...of worry....."what if we are wrong?"  And I recognized it as Satan.  He wants us to live in fear because then we are not trusting the Lord!

"Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice." Isaiah 41: 10

Now this doesn't mean that if your child really needs braces that you are not trusting God by putting braces on!!

We trusted God for Courtney's teeth but she still really needed the braces!

However, we kept getting this sense that Claire can forego this procedure.

Might we be wrong?  Yes....but....we can't fear that.

We can only do what we believe God is telling us to do right now.

By trusting in God for Claire's teeth, I will have peace about my decision.

Because.... I can release the fear and give it to Him and He takes it!

I don't have to fear my fears!!

I find it "ironic" (GOD!!) that tomorrow's topic in the parenting book the small group is studying is titled "facing our fears and failures".  Hm......

perhaps God wants this leader (me) to really dig into these truths!

Let's face the fear of making the wrong decision and leaving it in the Lord's Hands.  He will do with it what He wills.

And there is peace in that.

image taken from my friend Benita's FB page

"The Lord is my Light and my Salvation--whom shall I fear or dread? The Lord is the Refuge and Stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27: 1