Connections

Today was a rough day for the 8 year old I work with.  He is on the Autism Spectrum, higher end (Aspergers Syndrome). A is a sweet boy. At times.  And very difficult at other times.  He is typical Aspergers.  Very smart in several areas but doesn't have good social skills nor does he act appropriately in social situations or the integrated classroom.  He needs an aide (me) to work with him and help him be successful for most of the day.

Today was a tough one.  The toughest in a long time.  Since I can't give you specifics, I will just tell you that on his behavior chart we have implemented , he did not earn many "checks". (he earns a check  or an X every 15 minutes from the start of the school day to the end at 2:30.  If he has all Checks in the morning, he earns a reward.  If he has all the checks in the afternoon, he earns a 2nd reward.  If he gets at least one X, there is no reward for that section of day.  He gets an X by losing 2 tokens.  He must keep at least 2 tokens on his board every 15 minutes.  He has a token for 1. sitting 2. working 3. No Noises (in other words, no inappropriate language, growls, screams, or other outbursts). These are the main things he is working on to remain in an integrated classroom.  The token board goes with us everywhere we go.  I use it as a visual reminder for him to stay on task, do his work and not growl at teachers.

Today, I had to remove tokens. A lot.  

And his perception of this was "I'm a bad boy??" repeated often to me.

And my answer to him was (as always) "A-----, you are not bad.  Your behavior is not ok. but you are not a bad boy."  and then I explain in simple sentences the thing that was inappropriate (ex. "you screamed in B----'s face. that is not Ok."  or "You crawled on the table when Mrs H told you to sit.  That is not ok.  You can crawl in gym class.  We sit on chairs for reading group", etc.).  

Many parents make the mistake of saying "you are a bad boy/girl" when their child does something inappropriate whether it's not sharing a toy with a peer, or simple disobedience to a direct command.

And this is sad......because......the person is not bad. It is the behavior that is bad.

And aren't you glad that God...our Heavenly Father doesn't see us "bad girl" or "bad boy".  Rather...He sees our sin and wants us to repent.  To change our behavior.  Or attitude.

For someone like A, behavior needs to change.  

For someone like me...who can get impatient quickly with one of my daughters, that impatience needs to change......I need to cultivate some of the fruits of the Spirit....like Patience......and know that I am not bad...but my behavior/response needs to change.

Making these connections throughout my day, of the students and their IEP goals to my spiritual life......is pretty awesome...and helps me get through a bad day with a difficult student.  It also helps me to remember to have the right attitude when teaching these little ones.....they have special needs.....

I think our Teacher....our Heavenly Father...probably thinks we have special needs at times too.

Will you let Him help you??

We don't need to ask Him "Was I a bad person?"  If we think of it that way, then we are all bad!!

God doesn't have a token board or a checks/X's sheet.  He does have the Book of Life.....where our names are recorded if we have accepted Christ as our Savior and have a personal relationship with Him.

I am so thankful He is the Teacher who gives us chances....our reward is in heaven.....