"Even when the rainbow seems to pass right by me....I'm still finding Gold in the clouds....."

28 August 2012

A Different Kind of Hard

Well, yesterday we moved our oldest girl into her dorm room for her 2nd year of college.

And although it was not as difficult to say "bye" as last year nor as emotional, it was still hard.

But it was a different kind of hard.

On Sunday, we drove from home out to Gloucester....one of my favorite places on the North Shore.  The college is actually in Wenham, which is about 30 minutes or so (more because of traffic!) north of Boston proper.

What made it a different kind of hard??

Well, on Sunday, when we got off the highway and took the back-roads to Gloucester, we had to pass nearby the college.  In fact, we were on the same road as the college, but on the other end.  We turned off the AC in the car and opened the windows to get that fresh pine and ocean smell. And that is when Courtney said.......

"AH......I'm home."

Um. HOME?? Wait...that's in L------ in the Capital Region of New York. We are on the north shore of Boston, MA!!  This is not home!!

Yet....to our girl, it IS home.  

And I remembered I felt the exact same way upon arriving each year back on the campus of Roberts Wesleyan.

And I realized......this is the 2nd year of college.  She's not a freshman any longer. She knows the routines, the halls, the professors, the students. She knows how to get to Target down in Danvers! She knows that the nights get chilly but the days get hot.  She knows that her roomie likes the same TV show as she does. She knows that she has a church she likes and is a part of.

Out there.  Not here.

And I realized.....wow. She has this other life.

She requested prayer for her roommate's dad regarding a health issue.  

And again, I realized: wow. She has shown such spiritual growth since enrolling at Gordon.  I was able to really see this at our home over the summer.  Yet....at the college, she is growing in ways that I don't get to see every day.  

And it's normal and good this letting go of the oldest daughter.

She is capable of making her own decisions, plan her own curriculum, rent her own books, manage her own finances (sort of!), and handle her own schedule.

Yes...it's a different kind of hard this year.

The saying good bye was sweet....she hugged me hard.....yet she also couldn't wait to set up her room and surround her self with her friends......

....a different kind of hard....the friendships are established. She is now welcoming freshmen.......she is taking care of tasks on her own that we helped her with last year.

a different kind of hard....meeting a guy she's hanging around.....his offer to help was so appreciated....and......wow.....it felt so surreal......where did the time go??

a different kind of hard.....this letting go this year......realizing that she is now settled in to her new home.......

and it doesn't fully include us.

I smile........ 

And thank God.
A J Gordon Memorial Chapel
Gordon College


Susanne said...

I totally get this! I still can't bring my self to call the city where my daughter lives and goes to school her "home". But it is a good thing. She's grown up so much and is living a good life where she is. I just wish it was a bit closer than 7 hours away.

Faith said...

Oh Susanne! yeah....7 hours is quite a ways!! I was freaking out about 4 last year!! :)

Mrs. C said...

What a blessing and comfort it must be to you to know that she is happy and at peace at her home-away-from-home. :)

Melanie said...

Awww well I'm glad she feels it's home to her....she feels comfortable and is growing into such a smart, beautiful young woman! Joey will be leaving Saturday for his 2nd year of college at RIT. He is looking forward to it. I'm happy for him because there is NOTHING in this valley to offer him.

Sending prayers for your beautiful princess as she embarks on her 2nd year of a wonderful journey!

Faith said...

Awh...thanks Melanie!!! RIT is a great school.....and the Rochester area certainly has more to offer than the "valley". I'll keep him in prayer.....and you and Joe too!!
and yes, Mrs C....it is a comfort to know she loves it at Gordon!!

Laura@OutnumberedMom said...

It IS normal and good...what we really want for our kids. But still hard for a mama's heart. So glad she's doing well and happy. It's a wonderful place!

Faith said...

Thanks, Laura!! I'll be over to read your latest post...i saw that you had written something that looks really good! then again you write so well and they are always so thought provoking!! I'm getting really excited about the new team I'm working with this new school year...guess I'll have to write about it once school begins! :)

Melanie said...

Thanks Faith!! Please pray that he will find a good church out there. Last year he kept telling us he was going to find one but never even looked. And he is normally (er, was) very into church and used to attend youth groups, etc. I pray he doesn't get caught up in college nonsense that can happen and NOT find a good group of Christian friends and a church!

Faith said...

Ok Melanie!! i will add him to my prayer list! :)