2024 Book Review #7: Owner of a Lonely Heart

 

 One of my 2024 personal goals is to read more memoir type books (biographies or autobiographies).  This one falls in that  genre. It's very eye-opening. 

SUMMARY

Beth (Vietnamese name is Bich pronounced "bic") was only eight months old when she, her biological father, sister, grandmother, and uncles fled from Saigon and came to the United States. 

Beth's biological mother stayed in Vietnam..or was she left behind? Beth and her mother never met again until Beth was 19 yrs old.  As an adult, Beth and her mother have spent less than a day together. 

The main themes in this book seem to be the whole mother-daughter relationship, the absence, the questioning of self-identity, parenthood, and what it's like being a refugee in America.  She touches on post-war resettlement and being uncertain of "home". 

It's about family connection and belonging.  She speaks alot about implicit biases towards refugees, racism...even the struggle that Americans have with names that are foreign to English speakers. 

At first I thought this was going to be a memoir of a person who has severe "mommy issues" and she probably would end up needing therapy.  But it's way more than that. 

It's a look at just how difficult it is for certain people groups to acclimate to our American culture.  The things they do to be accepted or "one of us". 

It shows us how there is a "ripple effect" to a baby being removed from its biological mother. This woman has had many questions about her life, her mother, her father, the whole family dynamic. 

She talks about how first, after spending time in refugee camps in the Philippines, they (father, grandmother Noi, sister Anh and uncles) lived first in Arkansas and then later they settled in Michigan. It was a mostly white town, and their multi-generational family in the 1980s was very unusual. 

She and her mother never really "go deep" in their conversations with each other. It is very surface-y talk. 

This book left me feeling sad. I'm not really sure why and it's something to ponder because I know this book has a depth to it that I, raised in a middle class nuclear family, cannot imagine.  I've never had to face the issues that Beth raises in this book.  

In my opinion, this book is appropriate for ages 14 and older.

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, I rate this an 8.