"Even when the rainbow seems to pass right by me....I'm still finding Gold in the clouds....."

13 June 2024

2024 Book Review #26: The New Mother

 

I saw a review of this book on Storygraph and Goodreads so thought I'd see if our town library had it. They did! The author is new to me and this is her 2nd novel. I read this book in less than a week. It's fast-paced and a serious look at post-partum depression and post-partum psychosis.  Those are real, folks. Thankfully, I didn't suffer from either of those things but I did have angst over the dichotomy of  new motherhood, which is explained so well in this story. 

STORY SUMMARY

Being a new mother isn't always easy.  There are many challenges. Natalie and Tyler Fanning have just moved into their new home in a relatively new, peaceful and upscale neighborhood.  They both are lawyers in different firms in downtown Baltimore.  Natalie has also just given birth to her first baby....a boy they've named Oliver. He is not an easy newborn. He has colic and is only content when being held or nursed.  Natalie insists on just nursing exclusively.  She returns to work, torn in her feelings about leaving Oliver in daycare.  This arrangement only works for a short time. She has to pump her breast milk in the middle of the day, she has to meet her billable hours quota, and she also has to manage her home. She just can't handle all of this while  working full time outside the home in a busy career and also being there for Oliver.  To top it off, she isn't getting enough sleep. 

Tyler tries to help by suggesting he give Oliver formula. Natalie just pushes him away insisting breastmilk is the way to go. 

One day, she meets a neighbor. His name is Paul. He is a stay at home dad to Petra, age 10.  Paul is married to Erin who has her own financial consulting business. Paul and Erin have a strained relationship because Paul insists that Petra stay in the very exclusive, private school with the high tuition, but Erin's business isn't doing all that well due to a negative review a client recently gave her on the internet. Paul is supposed to have been working on his novel for the last 10 years, yet he has nothing accomplished. He's a good stay at home dad and the house is always spotless, well decorated, and he and Petra have a close relationship.   He also, unbeknownst to Erin and now Natalie, had a very close relationship with  Lara, who used to live in the same house where Natalie and Tyler now live. Paul, also, which is something that Tyler finds out via the internet, resigned from his teaching job at a college where he taught an English class, for having an "inappropriate relationship" with a 16 year old student. 

Paul is like a life line for Natalie. He knows how to calm down Oliver. He offers to watch Oliver and hold him while Natalie gets some rest. But...Paul wants something in return. It is not a coincidence that Paul has met Natalie....he plans on using her as a pawn for a situation he has been developing for quite some time. 

What is Paul planning?  Why does his wife Erin turn up dead on the wooded trail behind the Fannings' home?  And what does the next door neighbor named Linda really know about Paul?  

MY THOUGHTS

This is a really good look at what new parents go through when they bring home that precious newborn.  It's a great piece of fiction that reads like a thriller mystery and contains a lot of drama. 

The character development is strong and well done. Even the description of some of the neighbors was well established. 

The thing that I really appreciated was the display of the dichotomy of motherhood that is so prevalent in all moms who have college degrees, or higher, and who have good careers already established before becoming moms. The author first has us looking at the whole "Breastfeeding vs bottle feeding" in a very general way and not as important of a theme as some of her other themes. (I myself  exclusively breast-fed by oldest only introducing a bottle of breastmilk once she turned 6 weeks old.....for my youngest it was basically the same except i had to introduce formula in the 4th week of her life due to an infection I developed). 

The more serious choice for Natalie is the "should I be a working mom or a stay at home mom?" This is a tough one for so many of us!!  She worked when Oliver was 8 weeks old, and then went on a Sabbatical.  This dichotomy is  tough, isn't it?  The author does a great job in showing all the different thoughts that go through our minds as new mothers and what to do about our house, husband, baby, career, friendships.  It's a sobering look, too, at how postpartum depression exacerbates things.  I like that the author, towards the end, has Natalie accepting help and medication to help her with her mental health. I myself was fortunate to have 12 months of maternity leave (although I only got paid my teacher's salary for the first 6) and yet I remember the guilt I had of leaving my classroom in the hands of a sub......and then the guilt of putting my oldest into a toddler daycare room when I returned to the classroom the very day she turned 1. Sigh. It's never an easy decision.  And yes, after one year of teaching full time and raising a toddler and being in a brand newly built home which all happened at the same time, I left my career for 6 full years. Hardest decision I ever made and honestly, I would probably not have left my teaching job if we would have afforded a high quality nanny. 

I like how the author explored the topic of isolation some mothers feel....especially the ones who are at home full time...and also how vulnerable they are at times and how alone in their thoughts they sometimes feel. 

Each chapter was told in the voice of either Natalie or Paul.  I thought that was well done but I also thought that the ending was a bit too abrupt...the thriller part of it...although I did enjoy the way the author turned things around for Natalie. There are 4 parts to the book and honestly I felt like the first half was kind of bogged down. It really picked up and became a faster pace once I got to part 4. 

Themes, besides, the obvious of postpartum depression and postpartum psychosis are isolation, working moms vs SAHM's, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, colicky babies, marital strife, gossip, manipulation, betrayal, murder. 

I did relate to Natalie in some ways regarding the sleep deprivation: my youngest got me up every hour on the hour to nurse her first 6 weeks of life. By week 4 I was supplementing with formula in the evenings because I had developed mastitis so had to pump and throw away the breast milk due to the infection and antibiotics. 

However, even one bottle of formula per evening didn't help. As she grew into toddlerhood, she developed night terrors that lasted 2 weeks, and then she continued to get up once a night every single night until the week she turned 7. However.....once I learned her primary love language around age 4 (physical touch), I realized she just needed a hug, so when she would appear at my bedside at 4 AM I would hug her, and say go back to bed, and she did and slept the rest of the night. So I could definitely relate to the lack of sleep!!

I really liked that there was an author's note in the back of the book about her own experience after giving birth.  

In my opinion, this book is appropriate for ages 17 and older.

On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, I rate this a  9. 





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