BOOK SUMMARY
Lori is one of our nation's top independent financial advisors. But she had a rough start in her life.
She was born prematurely alongside her twin brother, with a genetic blood disorder and "on the wrong side of the tracks". Her parents got a divorce when she was just a toddler..less than a year old. But her Italian grandfather, the patriarch of a large Italian-American family who only had an 8th grade education taught her many things. One of those things was that the only limitations in life are those that we place on ourselves.
Lori, when she was young, always wanted to be a famous singer on Broadway. She never expected nor wanted to manage money on Wall Street. But in 1986, she, being a serious young woman walked into the world of Shearson Lehman Brothers....a rough and tumble world. She never looked back. She climbed and fought her way to the top by thinking outside the box. She worked her butt off depsite jeers, sexual harassment, and insults. She had a secret weapon: a need to prove herself so strong that she could outwork anyone.
She didn't just have an easy climb though. It was more like a roller coaster ride. She hit the height of success only to have it snatched awya in a legal battle with one of the biggest banks (Citicorp) in the world! She was raped by a PhD candidate while she was a student at Harvard. She was also betrayed and swindled by a business partner. And she also battled two life changing medical diagnoses.
But even worse: two of the people she loved most in the world were taken away much too soon.
But even though Lori faced fears and pain, she stayed hopeful and strong. She grew spiritually through some oh the biggest battles.
Life was never meant to be fair she learned. But we can keep running with grace if are to find purpose and joy in adverse situations.
MY THOUGHTS
This is a real life look at someone who is vastly different from me, career-wise. I mean I worked hard but in a totally different field. I wasn't surrounded by men in my field and always had wonderful teaching experiences other than a short stint as a program TA in a public school. I was blessed to have won a fellowship for a Master program and didn't come from the wrong side of the tracks although we weren't rich either. I had parents who graduated from high school and my mom earned a 2 year degree. Dad and Mom were married until death. So our upbringing was vastly different.
What I loved about this story was that it was set in upstate NY in the city of Rochester and also in NYC. I lived in Rochester for 5 years (4 as a college student).
I enjoyed this inspiring look at a young woman who gave it her all in the financial world. She was unusual in that she was very affluent after a time but unlike other women in her community who were all stay at home moms, she had a career and two little boys. I loved her description of her time as a working mom. I could definitely relate to that!
I also loved that she pointed out that her husband, who ended up committing suicide, had never sought out professional help for his childhood trauma. That is NOT a safe thing to do.She said he appeared to have everything together on the outside but inside was struggling with anger and depression from abuse at the hands of his father.
What brought Lori joy was a trigger for her husband Ron. What filled her cup, drained his. No one ever thought he would give up on life because he was such an attentive father and husband and friend. But inside his head and heart, he had major struggles. He thought that because he had survived his childhood, he wouldn't have to deal with it. That he could live with it.
Another poignant part of her story was when she felt led to read the book Wild at Heart by Christian author John Eldredge. And her husband also read it at the very same time when he was away on a trip and they didn't know that each other had been reading this spiritual book until he returned home!
There were some good quotes in the book. She gets a little bit into politics but it's not cumbersome and it's respectful. Here's a quote I liked and agree with (I registered first as Republican in my early 20s and then as an Independent for years, then a Democrat when I approached my 50s.):
"Over the years, I've registered with both parties. For me, right vs left, will never trump right vs. wrong." (pg 72, Running with Grace by Lori Van Dusen, c.2023)
Another good quote that are not her words but that she uses at the beginning of chapter 11 is:
"When values, thoughts, feelings, and actions are in alignment, a person becomes focused, and character is strengthened." ~ Pastor John C. Maxwell ~(pg 91)
One thing I appreciated that she shared was that after Ron's suicide, she sought out professional help, finally, for the rape she endured at Harvard. Another good quote from her is:
"....there's no moving on from trauma and grief; you have to learn how to integrate the pain into your life so that you can start to function again and put one foot in front of the other. I didn't understand this before therapy. Everyone's timeline for healing is different, but I learned that resilience is possible." (pg 118)
I love that she shares the story of how..and why....her young son named their dog Grace.
And another great quote to kind of sum up the book:
"How do we strengthen ourselves to face life's inevitable challenges? I believe self-acceptance, strong relationships, self-care, and a noble purpose provide a strong foundation. We must love ourselves enough to prioritize our spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being every day...no matter how busy we are. Remember to be for your self the person you are for others." (pg 127-128)
I recommend this book if you like memoirs and how people react with grace and strength in times of adversity.
In my opinion, this book is appropriate for ages 14 and older.
On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the highest, I rate this a 9.
No comments:
Post a Comment