Vacations as a Couple with Children!

The topic I chose for this month's Marriage Monday, since it was open to anything, was describing what I have learned about my idea of a summer vacation and what my husband thinks of as a summer vacation, and how this is so different for the 2 of us. And yet...somehow we have made it work!

We've been married for 18 years as of last Monday, June 30th. Every year we have gone away for Thanksgiving "vacation" to his folks home or the beach house for the annual Feast. (except 1998 when my ob/gyn wouldn't let me travel due to my 2nd pregnancy). I don't consider this a vacation. It is work. The Turners came off the Mayflower. (literally). Therefore, Thanksgiving is a huge deal. I don't call it a vacation but it is a great time away. The kids love it. My inlaws love it more than Xmas. That is important.

Every other year, since my oldest started Kindergarten, we have taken either a vacation during Spring Break or a Columbus Day weekend vacation. It is different every year. It is almost always an "educational" vacation or a hiking trip (if Columbus Day)...before the children arrived, we would camp each Columbus Day weekend...that's a whole other story..camping in autumn? Can be tricky!)These don't really count as vacations to me, either, although technically they are to the rest of the family.

This pic is from our "educational" Spring Break trip in April 2007. We toured 2 major parts of PA. (Pittsburgh, Hershey/Lancaster Co.). The girls loved the Amish buggy ride and the Lord blessed us with a "real Amish" teenager who drove the buggy and chatted with us about her lifestyle and goals. It was loads of fun. Courtney and Claire each got to drive the buggy for a little bit!

During our Winter Break (mid-Feb.), we have taken numerous daytrips throughout the years. Again, usually an educational type trip like a museum. Again, not really a vacation. Or we have gone to the Mohawk Valley for a few days to visit my parents. Just a vacation from school and the normal routine. Again, I don't count this as a real vacation.

And of course, every summer we take a summer vacation for one week or 10 days depending on what we are doing, where we are heading, if we are camping, etc.
This is a REAL vacation. Summer.
Away from the Albany area. Away from suburbia.
Away from my stove.
Away from the computer, tv and phones. (cells don't count...then again..considering most places we end up, we can't use our cells anyways due to lack of signels). Yes, we allow the ipods, MP3's and gameboys. I mean, what if it rains??

For the first 3 summers of our marriage, it was just the 2 of us. Life was easy. Packing was super easy and light!

Courtney arrived during summer #4. We didn't go away but we did do a day trip during Labor Day weekend when she was 6 weeks old. And yes, we hiked! We have a pic of her in a front pack on Daddy but I couldn't get it to scan into the computer to show you. Trust me. And yes, I nursed her in the woods, on the trail and on the beach! Unfortunately I can't scan all those pics into this computer...they are all in scrapbooks or our photo-box.

When Claire came along, she was a winter baby. So we camped that year when she was 6 months old and it was one of our best camping trips. We did Vermont for 4 days and NH for 2. One day on both ends of the week was travel day. And wow...as a couple, Dave and I quickly learned to work together with packing, planning and keeping children entertained in the car. (Again, I have pics but couldn't scan them. Sorry!)

Now, if you have visited here in the last year since I have joined the blogosphere, you will know that I am an avid hiker and camper. Dave used to like it. Now he tolerates it. My girls always loved it. Now, I have to practically bribe them to get to the summit of a mountain. (I think this is somewhat normal for teens and a preteen who copies her big sis!?)

So.....I am going to show you, with pictures, our various ideas of what a great vacation is. I have so many from the last 3 years but here is a good sampling
This pic was taken from the summit of Sawyer Mountain in the Central Adirondacks. It was an easy hike for children. It was only about 1 mile up. We are looking out over to Snowy Mt. which someday I would like to climb. It is a tougher hike. We did a one week camping/hiking trip in August 2006. This is my idea of a great vacation! Mountains, fresh-water lakes, hiking......God's Creation!

And here we have my husband's idea of a great vacation:a major league baseball game! (groan). This is a pic of the Pirates vs. the Cardinels during our Spring Break to Pittsburgh, PA in 2007. Not my favorite way to spend a vacation or $$ but....hey....marriage is all about compromise! (I ended up having fun...especially because "my" team, the Cardinels, won!


And....the teenager: Courtney has the good fortune of having a July birthday. We have always stayed home on and around July 11 so she can have a party at home. This is her idea of a great vacation:
Backyard Beach Ball volleyball with all her BFF's. This was actually a party for her when she turned 13. She had 5 girls from school and 4 girls from Youth Group plus 1 girl from our former church. She had a ball! (get it?) from l-r: Brea (from GF Youth group), Courtney, Kelsey (from school). (7/06)

The Pre-teen: Claire. She has always been a little trooper. Oh, the tales we could tell of camping one rainy, foggy 4th of July weekend with a cranky toddler who was still on the bottle. Or the looooonnnnggggg whale watch trip out of Plymouth, MA when we did our week long vacation at the beach house when she was 2 1/2 (tip: do not take a toddler on a whale watch. All she kept saying was "whales bye bye, wanna go home"....yeah....she wasn't thrilled with being stuck on a ship for 3 hours..by the trip's end...neither were we!). Dave and I have learned along the way, though. And Claire is the kind of kid who just rolls with whatever comes her way. She also has brought much laughter to our vacations. We have had so much fun traveling with her....louder fun, but fun.

Her idea of a great vacation?

Day trips every day to a different lake. Seriously, there were years (from 1995-2005) when all I did for the month of July was choose a different lake 3 times a week and pack up my car, the kids, the stuff and sometimes a neighbor or church friend, and head to one of the many lakes in our region. Claire is my swimmer. Although my oldest loves to swim, too, and is very good, it is our Claire who is like a fish. She can swim all day in the lake if we let her! Here she is at age 5 1/2 (center of pic) at Sacandaga Beach State Campground. This was a day trip with our neighbor. Courtney is the one standing, and Morgan, the neighbor girl, is in the water. Those 3 had a blast all summer swimming and hiking together.

We did many day trips because that summer was our year to take a week in August and use the beach house on Cape Cod. This was something that Dave and I worked out as a couple to keep the peace in our marriage and to be fair to everyone: beginning in 2001, the Turner family aquired a beach house on private land in Buzzards Bay (Cape Cod). We get to use it for one week if we choose. It actually belongs to my husband's sister's husband, the millionnaire. They have 1 child, Hanna. I am not really an ocean person but because my husband loves it, I have learned to really appreciate this part of God's Creation. My children love it, too. So, we compromised and decided that each year, not counting Thanksgiving, we would spend either a week at the beach house and day trips to the Adirondacks/long weekend camping trips OR a week-long camping vacation with a long weekend at the beach house. It has worked for us.

So....grab of glass of iced tea or iced coffee and sit back and browse our pics. This is just a small sample of life in the summer with us.



Dave doesn't mind camping once the camper is set up and he can just relax. Here he is at the back of our campsite at Moffit Beach State Park (Central Adirondacks) resting after a long day of hiking. He's a good sport to put up with all my hiking plans! (week long camping trip in 8/06)

One of our favorite things to do in the early evenings at our campsite is to make s'mores. Again, here we are at Moffit Beach Campground after a day of hiking. We were blessed with perfect weather all week! (it rained briefly the evening before our last day). We all agree on chocolate, marshmallows and graham crackers!
Courtney (same campground, same date: 8/06) loves to wrap her self in her fleece blanket and lie in the hammock. We all have to share the one hammock.

This is where we spend some time each summer. This is the private beach in back of the beach house on Buzzards Bay/Cape Cod. Last summer (2007) we spent a week at the Beach House and did NO camping (groan) because the camper didn't pass inspection. That is a whole other story. In fact, we didn't even hike much (gasp!). This year we will be at the house in early August for a long weekend. We are supposed to be camping the last week of August in....you guessed it...the Adirondacks!
This is a picture from July 2005. The young teen in the front (pink shorts) is our niece who will inherit the house when she turns 21. This is Hanna, who lives in CA. Her mom, Karen, (my hubby's oldest sister) is the lady in the dark pink. The teen next to her is our other niece, Beth, who is 3 years older than Courtney. Hanna is 2 years older than Courtney. Beth is my husband's brother's daughter. Do ya have all this? Anyway....Karen decided we should have a real clambake (ick) on the beach. My thought: can't we just order out? My husband was not thrilled with this venture....a clambake on the beach is ALOT of work! Agian, not our idea of a vacation....at least we agree on that!

And something else the 4 of us (when Courtney is in a good mood!) agree on: hiking the Adirondack Mountains which still have a firetower to scale at the summit, is a great thing to do. It gives you a real sense of accomplishment! And since there are only 21 summits with firetowers still on them, this is an attainable goal for us. I have done 5 thus far. This is me, in August 2006, climbing the tower on the summit of Blue Mountain, Central Adirondacks. A long trail to the summit but well worth it!

Marriage is all about compromise sometimes. The Lord wants us to have fun as a couple. We need to laugh. The proverb about laughter being a good medicine is so true. All families need to have a time away for physical and spiritual rest. Some of my best spiritual growth times have been when I have been communing with God in nature or chatting with my husband late at nite around the campfire. Watching my children enjoy what God has created.This is Claire on the Wilmington Wilderness Trail at age 5, in the High Peaks region of the Adirondacks. (9/05) We did a long Labor Day weekend trip (stayed in a hotel) that year. Earlier in the summer we camped and did some time at the beach house AND went to a baseball game. Something for all of us!

Seeing the look of pride on their faces as they master yet another summit!
Having fun goofing around on a trail surrounded by wilderness.

This is Dave, Claire and Courtney on trail of Blue Mt, 8/06

Listening to the peals of laughter as we ride crazy amusement park rides.Courtney, Claire in 9/05 at Santa's Workshop,
North Pole, NY
Whiteface Mountain, Adirondacks.

Feeling a sense of accomplishment when they have caught a bluefish off the big boat in the ocean waters.
All these memories we have are captured in photos. But even more important, all those memories are captured in our hearts.

Even though we might argue from time to time about spending money, or where to camp, of IF we should camp, or what sight to see, or what game to buy tickets for, an ocean vacation vs. a mountain vacation, we are still learning to communicate, compromise and capture the fun of raising a family and being a family. And isn't that what vacations really are all about?