Marriage Mentors

Well, the latest marriage topic from Fruit in Season is about mentors. I actually have had several mentors growing up in my spiritual journey. I was blessed in high school to have an older friend who was a newlywed and worked in my home church. I came to know Christ at age 15 but had been raised in a born again Christian home so knew many Christians all my life. I was fortunate to babysit for this woman once her children were born. She used to listen to me and my teenage angst, and I know she prayed for and with me. I hung out at their home alot until I went to college. When I became engaged to D--- she agreed to sew my wedding dress (she is an awesome seamstress) AND she did the music on pipe organ for my wedding ceremony (she is also a very accomplished musician). She was someone very special in my life (she still is although we are several miles apart and rarely get together. We rely on email).
When I moved to the capital region of NYS after living 2 hours west for years, I didn't have a spiritual mentor for many years. I was busy with grad school, getting a teaching job, working, and managing life in an apt in a new city. I also started attending the church where I eventually met my husband. Once my oldest daughter was born and I was a full time stay at home mom, I became very good friends with one of the women in our church. We had lots in common, she was more mature than me in a spiritual sense and had children my own child's age and some a bit older. We both had special education as our career choices although she was branching out to other areas of interest. She was very gifted in counseling and really helped me and encouraged me through a difficult time in my marriage and with dealing with some issues from my past. She and her husband were elders in our church and ministered to many couples. It was their "thing". The most that I learned from her was grace. That marriage is all about grace. Giving each other the grace to make mistakes, to not be perfect (no one is!!), and to keep praying for each other. She and her husband were not judgemental in the least and we often felt judged by other leaders who were raising their children differently or who had different ideas of women working, topics like that that often made my husband and I feel "different". They really came along side us when my youngest daughter had to have surgery. They were the only people to pray with us and to check on us once her surgery was completed. The Lord definitely used them to encourage and support us. Just before we felt the Lord calling us to our currant church in our own community, they too were led by the Lord to join a different congregation. Although she is no longer acting in a "mentoring" role to me, we are still friends and sisters in Christ. I learned so much from her! (and she now gives me tips and advice about raising teen girls!).
Currently, I am mentoring a woman friend who is a new Christian. It is a delight. I try to encourage her to pray, to allow the grace of God to work through the every day "stuff" that crops up in our marriages and to just forgive and extend grace. What I learned from my mentor, I would like to pass on to the one I am now mentoring. Marriage has many ups and downs. Some people will never admit that they have issues that are often difficult. I encourage women to admit them and if necessary to seek out good spiritual counselors or mentors. My marriage is not perfect nor will it ever be; however my life partner, my husband, is the perfect one for me as he was from God! I encourage anyone out there to either be open to mentoring another younger woman (either in spiritual years or physical years) and to be open to embracing an older, more mature and usually wiser woman!