It's time for another Marriage Monday topic. This week's topic is "what makes a marriage Christian?" Well, "duh..." I thought to my self when I first saw what the topic was: it is your mutual relationship with Jesus Christ, both of you being born-again Christian and keeping Christ in the center of your marriage. How easy is that?
Not easy at all! At least not for Dave and I! God definitely brought us together which I have shared before. We are both Believers and although Dave wasn't raised in a home where Christ was the center, he did come from a solid home and his parents have been married to each other for 51 years! My parents have been married for 55 years!! SO....our odds going into the marriage were pretty good. However, just because 2 people are born again believers and get married to each other, does not make the marriage "Christian" just like saying the prayer of salvation and then just living your life any way you want to makes you a Christian.
I believe the following components must be in place for marriages to be considered a "Christian" one:

• Committment for life: I must be totally commited to this marriage during my life here on earth (unless my husband turns abusive or has an affair and we cannot reconcile the relationship through Biblical, Christian counseling....Praise God I have not had to deal with those issues!) I have been married to Dave for 17 years. Has it been perfect? NO Are we committed to each other? YES!
• Communication: this is a vital aspect of marriage. We need to be communicating with our Lord, as individuals and as a couple AND with each other! Not just the daily grind small talk about the house, kids, cars, jobs, finances, church, etc. but the deep things of our minds and hearts. The dreams and visions for our family and for us when the children leave for college. The goals we have as a couple/family. If we can remember to communicate effectively in a Christ-like manner, our marriage will be stronger emotionally. (this is an area where Dave and I have had to get help with, and have had to work on).
• Core values: our core values for life must line up with God's principles as laid out in Scripture. Many people, when faced with conflict in their marriage, choose to "check out". Again, this kind of goes back to communication (meaning the important topics like how to discipline children, where to educate them, how to spend our money, etc. need to be discussed before the wedding day!) but the Lord wants us to live godly lives with Him as the center. If we are truly equally yoked in Christ, our daily lives need to be an example of that! We need to be a couple that radiates Christ when unbelievers watch us. We need to reflect the love of Jesus to each other and in turn, that will shine for others to see.
  
• Covered in prayer: my marriage needs to be prayed for; I need to pray for my spouse and he needs to pray for me. We need to pray together. Not just our desires and dreams but for spiritual growth!
• Connected: we need to be connected by the threefold cord that is not easily broken. (Am I saying this right?!). anyways...the verse I am thinking of is in Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

"Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fall, one will lift p his companion. But woe to him who is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up. Again, if two lie down together, they
will keep warm; but how can one be warm alone? Though one may be over-
powered by another, two can withstand him. And a threefold cord is not quickly
broken."

• Compassion: we need to be compassionate towards each other. Sometimes we treat our family members/spouses worse than anyone else we spend time with! This should not be! We need to lift each other up. This includes our conversations with others. Worldy people do not often do this. Some women constantly complain about their spouse and his faults. Maybe men do this too. We have vowed that we will not allow any negative talk about each other occur with other people. It is not what Jesus would do! And if we are in a Christian marriage, we need to be ambassadors for Christ!
• Continue to keep the Cup Full: read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman if you haven't yet. This book has helped us in many ways to keep each other's "cup", "tank", whatever word you want to use there, full. We all feel loved in different ways. Mine is gifts and physcial touch. Dave's primary love language is words of affirmation. If we keep filling each other's cup with the language of love that we respond to best, it is easier to "do marriage" in the daily grind of life.

In summary: I believe that Christ needs to be the constant center in a couple's committed marriage. Will there be problems? you betcha....we are HUMAN! Can we overcome them? you betcha....through Christ!