Children and Chores

Today's topic is children and chores!
Why are chores important for children?
Because, it is one of the best ways to build self -esteem and feelings of competance.
Assign regular chores and insist that they are routinely completed.

How to begin??

Buy or make a chore chart as pictured above. (not mine) I had something similar when my children were ages 3-7 but as they are older now, they automatically just make a list and keep it on their desk) Gone are the days where a chart is rewarded with stickers. Now they earn an allowance.

• Assign age-appropriate chores based on your child's mental/cognitive and physical development. It is ridiculous to expect a 3 year old to make her bed or take out the garbage, but she should be able to pick up all her stuffed animals and place in bins or on top of bed.
• Prepare child for success by providing clear instructions. Keep your language simple if your child is under the age of 7 or has speech/language delays. "Put forks on napkins." "Books on shelf"
  
• Provide visual reminders. (the chore chart for younger children; a handwritten check-list for older ones). I not only printed the words on the chore chart when my children were in PreK but I also added clip art pics of various tasks such as a book and basket for putting books in baskets or a hamper for pick up dirty laundry.
  
• Be consistent. Approach chores matter-of-factly and with positive attitudes. Your children will imitate you!
• Be specific. Instead of saying "go clean your room" identify specific components. For example: "dirty clothes go in hamper", "put your toys in the bins", "put your books on the shelf". Even teens sometimes need the specifics: "empty the dishwasher and then put the dirty dishes in to it" or "strip your sheets off the bed and then remake it with fresh ones" (teens tend to do just what they are told and no more so be specific with them!)
• Give your children the job of assigning their own chores. For example: my daughters have worked out that on M-W-F it is Claire's turn to set the table and Courtney will clear and load dishwasher; on T-Th-Sat. they reverse the roles.
• Reward extra work only. Why? Because children need to learn intrinsically that there is work to be done in the home and we don't always get paid for it (just ask any full time stay at home mom!). Children need to learn that the family is a unit and everyone needs to help out. Even toddlers can learn to put their blocks in a bin. They just need extra time and repetition. My children earn allowance money for certain chores but not for everyday things. Examples: Courtney earns money for babysitting her sister or for helping with the laundry. She does not earn it for making her bed and setting the table. Those are just expected of her since she is 15. Same with her homework routine. I do not reward my children for doing their homework on time. The "reward" is not having their grades lowered by their teachers! Claire, on the other hand, does get an allowance for making her bed as I normally do this chore due to time constraints in the a.m. Her normal chores that don't get a monetary reward are keeping her room neat, picking up her books, and setting the table. Claire also can earn money by helping with the flower gardens or helping to wash mommy or daddy's cars, mirrors, or vacuuming the kitchen floor.
  

Requiring regular chores will help your children develop healthy attitudes about work. This will carry through to adulthood!