Marriage Monday: Time Management for Busy Families

It's time for Marriage Monday!!

I look forward to this all month.....and I thank E-mom from Chrysalis-Cafe for hosting this informative gathering. I really do enjoy reading everyone's entries and I also enjoy the topics that E-mom presents to us.

When I saw the list of topics, I really liked all of them.  I actually did a post on Saturday centered around the two topics relating to which kind of education we use for our daughters and which books are "keepers" for them to pass on to their own children.  You can find that post by clicking here. ( I was waiting for a floor installer to come to our home to measure a room and I had scads of time to write while waiting for this guy to show up! :) )

For today, though, I want to write about how we manage our time as a busy family.

We in the T----family are BUSY! 

Our busiest season is the school year.  Our "year" runs from September 8th until about June 25th. With the school year comes MANY chances for extra-curricular activities from extra art classes,  to musical rehearsals.  We established a "rule" when our oldest was 4 years old:  only 2 extra-curricular activities per semester.   We do not count violin/orchestra as an extra-curricular activity because it is built into their school day.  Violin lessons are held right in school.  That is one huge plus!  Orchestra is a class and does not require staying after school.  Concerts ARE required but there are only 2-3 a year.  We also do not count Youth Group now that they are tweens/teens.  I'll explain why further down the post.


Dave and I have the same type of "rule" that the girls do.  For instance, he is very involved as a Life::Redefined Leader(the name of our church's teen ministry).  He helps with the Junior High youth group on Thursday evenings.  He also likes to teach his high school small group of boys so is out on Monday evenings. Those are his 2 activities.  All other evenings are spent at home. 
My activities this year are leading a small group for moms of tweens/teens 2 Thursday evenings a month while Dave and Claire are at the Youth Center and leading/organizing the Moms in Touch prayer group here at our home, 1 afternoon a month. Those are my 2 ministries I am working in.  As the year progresses, though, I will have to do some volunteering at Claire's school as all 6th grade parents are expected to help with the planning of the 6th grade dance/picnic/graduation and yearbook. This will mainly happen in the spring months.


So....HOW do we manage our time??

Well, first of all I am the "calendar mommy".  All of my friends who know me well and have been to my home, see "Our Wacky Schedule" (yes, that is the title on the top!) on the fridge.  This calendar has been in my possession since my oldest was 3 years old.  It is a write-on/wipe off calendar and each person has a different color.  This keeps me organized.  For example:  my hubby and I are the black marker (he stays organized with his own personal agenda via his blackberry), Courtney is the blue marker as that is her high school color and Claire is purple for her fave color.  Anything in red is a "special" such as friends over for dinner, ortho appointments, vacation days, etc
On the left side of the board there is a section labeled Messages.  Under this I usually write things like "schedule eye appt" or "make lunch date with Erin", etc.


For my personal agenda I have a day-timer but I do put any special appointments or activities that meet weekly/monthly right on the calendar so the girls can see where I need to be and so my husband can see that he might need to do a pick-up of a child, etc.


Other things we do to keep the family running smoothly and to help us manage out time wisely:

• We schedule family game or movie nights(Fri or Sat)  It is very important to my husband and I that we spend time as a family.  This means no guests on those evenings.  No "going out".  
• We also schedule a "date nite" each month.  Sometimes this is just a Saturday or Sunday afternoon where Dave and I will kayak or hike, or just go out to lunch.  This keeps us sane!  We have always done this.....it is good to stay recharged and refreshed. When the girls were too young to stay by themselves, we simply hired a trusted teen sitter! 
• After the first full week of school, I type up a "schedule" for each child (now that Courtney is in high school, I just make a copy of her schedule that she sets up with her guidance counselor).  Each schedule goes on each daughter's bulletin board which is hanging in our kitchen near the back door. This way, at a glance, I can see which classes they have/what times they are in which class, and which day they have phys ed, art, etc.  This was especially helpful during the elementary years.  Any important papers that need to be signed and returned gets tacked to their board. This method is great if an ortho, doctor, or dental appt needs to be made during the day (it is sometimes hard to get a late afternoon apt).  I can see at a glance that making an ortho appt during gym is a lot better than during a History class!
• We have learned the art of saying NO.  This includes saying "NO" sometimes to yet another PTA fundraiser, or committee, to being a room parent, to baking for yet another party, to joining yet another small group at church, etc. etc.  We both teach a small group. We don't need to join any others. 
• We eat dinner as a family.  This is definitely a time management thing for us because everyone in the family knows we eat at about 6 pm.  There are 2 days a week where we eat in shifts (by looking at the fridge calendar, Dave can see that Claire and I will not be home for dinner on Tuesdays due to ballet classes...we will be bringing dinner with us and eating during the hour break between classes). On Mondays, Dave has to "eat and run" because he needs to be at his small group of high school boys by 7 pm.  The girls know this, so if they need him for anything they know they have to catch him at dinner time.  Every other night of the week we eat together.  This is when we talk about the day, about what is going on for the next day and about any problems any one is having with anything.  We also talk about the upcoming weekend and what needs to be scheduled.
• We schedule annual physicals in the summer months for the girls so they don't miss classes due to a doctor's appointment.
• We have certain days that certain tasks around the house get done (laundry, dry cleaners, changing bedding, vacuuming bedrooms, etc). Courtney typically does her laundry on the weekends when she has more time.
• Homework ALWAYS gets done right after school. In Courtney's case, with her demanding classes, she does do HW after dinner and always before leaving for an event. This was established in kindergarten and has always been my rule.
• We schedule "fun times" after work. Work, then play has always been my motto.
• We have set bedtimes for our children under age 13. Even in the teen years, we highly encourage them to be in bed by 10 pm (our high school begins at 7:25 a.m.!)
• We pray. A lot. 
• We talk.
•  We share what's working, what isn't (this is how we found out that Courtney was getting burned out from the Equestrian sports....she quit riding half way through junior high school because she was just not enjoying it anymore and spending 4 hours per week at the barn was no longer working for her...she was really getting sapped emotionally and physically). We change things around when needed.
• We aren't perfect. and we recognize that.

God has entrusted us with children. Ours are high achievers and good students.  It is our job to train and guide them to be good stewards not just of their bodies, money, and possessions but of their giftings and time.

We try to practice what we preach.

And....we have grace for one another.

It works for us.  Managing time is necessary.....and....this busy season of our lives will not last forever!