It's Marriage Monday again! Head over to the Chrysalis blog and link up with E-mom to participate! Our current topic is about Children and our Marriages.
I am going to do something different this month. We took our oldest daughter, age 18, to a Christian liberal arts college in the New England area for the very first time, about a month ago. Our youngest is still at home with us and began Junior High School 2 weeks ago (7th grade). Our house and family life have felt " empty" even though we are not officially "empty nesters".
Here are my thoughts about our home life right now......
.....there's an emptiness to these rooms....
quieter mornings un-rushed over steaming mugs of coffee.....
....even quieter afternoons with no rushing in the door, bag full of books and binders spilling papers and groans of more and more homework...no more taxi-ing to and fro from after-school clubs and activities....and the drama it involves.....a different daughter doing those things in a different way....different after-school clubs but an emptiness from the one who is not doing those things.......different conversations and different books and binders spilling papers with groans of more and more homework....
.....no more hunting for the perfect prom gown but rather a text requesting permission to use the Visa for camping clothing for an excursion to the White Mountains of NH...."it's for my Discovery Class, Mommy".....the secret thrill of that one word "mommy"......a childhood noun from a college girl.....the childhood far behind yet maybe not so far as we thought....and feel......
...the longing to know each and every move and every thought and every moment and the newness of letting go.....and the newness of communicating as a family via Skype and texting and emails......and newness of this emptiness.....
....the quietness of dinner conversation that is minus one...the placement of 4 plates and cups in the forgetting of this new emptiness....
....the newness of "just us" at home while the ballerina finds new activities and a new junior high social life...and the princess doing things we know not of.....the emptiness at bedtime of just one set of hugs and prayers...and us that's left in the family room......are we strangers to each other?? we have alone time like never before!
....and the emptiness we feel in the car on errands, excursions, escapes to entertainment.....
and it's in the emptiness that we are turning more towards each other....
....more time to sit and talk....more time to watch tv together....more time to spend with the 12 year old.....in her own newness......
......it's in the emptiness that we are seeing new things in God.......
....emptiness of nest but fullness of joy......the joy of knowing she loves her new season.....
....the peace that comes from knowing she is in a good place.....Gordon College...evangelical, educational, empowering, equipping her for life and service.....
....the emptiness being replaced by feelings of accomplishment....we've done our job as mom and dad....we've trained, and disciplined, and modeled, and molded....and....
......loved.....and saw her accept Jesus....and see her words on Facebook....
"I don't like donuts with holes, they make me sad because they remind me of how empty life is without Jesus.".....(sept 17th, fb page)
....and it's in those words of hers....those words that speak of emptiness, that show Dave and I that we really aren't empty here.....
....we are full.....full of the emptiness she leaves us but full of the Life that He brings...and the life that she is embracing....our roles are changing....yet it is not empty.....and we see the fruits of our labors in those simple Facebook words set as her status....and we rejoice.......
it's in our emptiness that we are full..........
 |
| Courtney in her new surroundings...... c. C E T pics 2011 |
13 comments:
Beautiful post. I'm quite a ways from the moment of letting one spread their wings to college, but I know the time will be fleeting. Thanks for the glimpse of the bitter and the sweet that can come...MiPa
Great post - I admire you turning to your husband, and God...not everyone does yet it is so important. Blessings from MM.
As a mom who is almost where you are, I felt each word!! As I work towards releasing my sons, there is no way to prepare, but to exchange. Your post blessed me bunches!!
You've expressed so beautifully how I feel about our nest being 'minus one' this fall. Such a lovely post.
Two years ago, we were at the “minus one” stage. For three months after we left our daughter at college, I felt like the oxygen had been sucked out of the world. I expected to miss her; I did not anticipate the crushing power of my grief as every moment of the day echoed with the emptiness of her absence.
I learned the hard way that I had built too much of my life on my relationships with my daughter. The emptiness forced me to recognize my need to develop friendships with other women, to focus more on my husband, and ultimately to seek refuge and strength in Christ.
A week ago, we took our daughter back up to college along with her brother for his first year. We are truly “empty-nesters,” now, but it feels SO right. They are where they belong, doing what they need to do. And our parenting goal has always been to work ourselves out of our jobs!
We were only married for two years before the kids came along; it’s kinda exciting to realize that we are back where we started...just a bit older(hopefully!) a bit wiser.
I'm in a similar situation, so I resonate with your words. And so glad that your "Princess" is doing as well as she seems to be. What a great testimony of your great Christian parenting!
Oh Faith, now I'm all sad and weepy.
With amazing equinamity, you're able to accept both the joy and the sorrow of letting go of your beautiful daughter, Courtney.
For her, life is just beginning. For you... it's a time of reflection on a job well done.
This too shall pass. Your feelings of loss will fade, as new horizons open up. I was surprised at how much our son lapped up all the attention after his sister moved out. He STILL loves it when just the three of us get together. And so do we.
I'll be getting on a plane to fly out your way on Wed. to help our daughter welcome a new life into our family.
And so the cycle of life continues...
Thanks once again for joining us for Marriage Monday, Faith.
Hugs, e-Mom ღ
P.S. Can I send you your CD prize when I get back in 10 days? And do I have your mailing address?
Thank you for your kind comments over at my blog! Please feel free to use the post for your group! I've going to visit your "Got Teens Notes" now! It seems with teens, things are always changing and I've still got much to learn!
You made me cry with this post! Emptiness has so many angles, it seems, when you reach this new stage. This is so beautiful, Faith. Wow, it's amazing to think how little time we have until our oldest goes to college. OK, going to get a tissue now... ;)
Oh your words hit me hard. Thanks for this... FIRST I really loved your daughters status it was delicious! SECOND I am not anywhere near this stage but your I fear the emptiness a bit and your words brought hope that it will be as beautiful, in its own way, as all the life chapters before. I will hold on to your idea of full in the emptiness!
Beautiful post, Faith. I can totally relate. Our oldest has been gone starting three years this month. I notice the other two's absence when they are not at the supper table due to activies or jobs. It's all part of the growing up but it sure makes a hole. But like you said the Lord fills it and we can use it to draw closer to our spouse.
This is beautiful. I know too many couples that divorced once the kids left for college because there was nothing between them. You shared so many good points in the midst of your situation. Blessings to you!
Just LOVE this -- it's so true!!
Post a Comment