When God Whispers

 

This mug is special to me.

I keep it tucked away most of the calendar year but when August rolls around, I get it out until Autumn is past. August 11th was the date my mom was born way back in 1934.  She's in heaven now. At least that's what I believe.  But the reason this mug is special to me, is because she loved this mug.  I had bought it for her one year for her birthday....a long time ago...I really don't know if the girls were born yet....I can't remember..........but she loved sunflowers and she loved late summer and autumn as do I.  My dad gave me this mug after she died............

So fast forward to the summer of 2012.

It was August. I had the summers off back then and the girls and I would spend most of our August days at the Turner family beach house on Cape Cod.  Well, that summer was our oldest daughter's first "real" job as she was starting her 2nd year at Gordon College in Boston. So we were home most of the summer.  By mid-August, we had her back in Boston for her campus job and classes. That left Claire and I free to do and go where we wanted.  We decided to spend Labor Day weekend, like almost every year of Claire's 13 years, at the beach house.  In the days leading up to Labor Day weekend, we were at our home in Latham. We had decided we would drive out to the Cape from Wednesday through Labor Day.  Dave would join us on Friday night.  Well, Wednesday came and Claire said "Mommy, I think we should stay here for the weekend."  I was surprised.  I asked her why.  She was 13 years old but already a very determined and persistent little girl.  She also was my very compassionate and bubbly child as well as being a bit on the wild side and always pushed my buttons. 

She repeated "I think we need to stay home. I think we should visit Grandma M on Sunday".  I was like are you kidding me?  She would rather spend the weekend at home, going to my parents on Sunday out in central NY (which none of us really like as there's nothing to do there) instead of kayaking and swimming in the ocean on Buzzards Bay
at the beach house which was worth almost $1 million?  is she kidding me?

I repeated "are you sure, Claire"

She was determined.  I will never forget her words "Mommy, I really think we need to visit Grandma and Grandpa M".

Oh my word, this child.  See, my mom and I were NOT close emotionally at all.  It wasn't for my lack of trying.  It stemmed from way back in my early teen years and I won't go into all of that now. But it often grieved me until I went through some counseling and realized we just weren't going to have the warm fuzzy relationship that I had with my own daughters and that I had craved with my mother. I finally learned to stop all of those expectations and just enjoy my mother for who she was:  a good provider, a great grandmother who showered her grandchildren with probably too many gifts, and a person who was very organized and had an excellent work ethic. Those two traits are ones that at least 2 of my 3 younger sisters and I have inherited. Anyways, I was kind of cringing inside.  I actually wanted to go to the beach house but my little girl was so insistent on us staying home and visiting my parents on that Sunday.

So that's what we did!

And guess what??  

That was the last time we saw my mother alive.

Dave and Claire, age 13
Labor Day weekend 2012
at my parents house in central NY

 

Grandma M, Claire (age 11), Grandpa M
Xmas 2010

Dave and I really believe that Claire heard a whisper in her soul from God.

SOMETHING made her want to go to central NY instead of the place where we always went.......I mean, if we weren't camping and hiking Labor Day weekend somewhere in the Adirondacks, we were at the beach house where we spent almost the entire month of August and every Thanksgiving from the time Claire was 2 until 2014 when we all said good bye to that house.  What in the world??

And that's just it.

It wasn't of this world...this was something other worldly....something like God...or His Spirit...

SomeOne or SomeThing pressed on Claire's heart to go see Grandma one more time.......

.......little did we know she would drop dead of a heart attack the next month.

Heart matters are so fragile.  The deep thoughts of a 13 year old came from God. I am convinced of it.  She isn't a super religious person nor am I. She was just a new teen, fragile with her emotions and spirit.  Dave isn't religious either.  Yet we attend church, we sing the songs, we try to follow the two greatest commandments (love God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as your self).  We've instilled these truths into our daughters' lives. We think of God/Jesus as more of a relationship with Him than being religious.  We want to follow Him. But I don't stress about the church made/man-made rules and regulations.....rather, I embrace Biblical truths and stay connected with Him through nature.

Heart matters.......whispers from God....not to be ignored.

And guess what?  On that drive out from the capital region to the central region, I saw so many sunflowers.  So many.  And yes, Mom had her sunflower mug on the counter when we arrived.  I will never forget it and I look back and think it was a sign.  A sign:  sunflowers are known to be a symbol of unwavering faith and unconditional love. They also represent loyalty.

My mom and I weren't emotionally close.  But she was loyal to our family.  She loved me unconditionally the best way she knew how.  And her faith in God was unwavering I think.  We didn't have deep spiritual conversations but we all have chosen a path of spiritual connectedness with our Creator. 

I know Claire heard the whisper of God that week.

and I know I will treasure this sunflower mug as long as I have breath to breathe.