The Voice

 

It was a warm early summer evening. 

I was with my then boyfriend whom I had been living with for a little less than a year and he was saying he thought we should get married. I was 24. He was 29.  He was divorced from a former college friend of mine. That's a whole other story. I thought I was "in love".  Boy was I wrong.  It was lust pure and  simple. I thought I wanted to marry him. Yet........there was that still small Voice pressing into my mind.......into my very soul........

........my soul so long neglected because of living with a man in "sexual sin".....I was so far backslidden I honestly didn't even know if I would ever hear the Voice of the Holy Spirit again.........

........yet there was this tugging....this pulling of my heart strings towards the Light.......

.............and I heard that Voice whispering "No.  Say No....you need to wait." 

So aloud, that is what I uttered.  And Tim my boyfriend became angry.....in fact he got so mad he threw a very expensive watch he owned into the river and that's when I knew.....my "no" needed to remain "no" and that it was God Almighty who was leading me. 

I broke up with him and went back to living with my parents and joined a church that was a bit different from the Free Methodist church I grew up in.  THis was more of a "pentecostal" style church and I loved the worship and the pastor.  If fact, the pastor was the older brother of a girl I had known in high school who was 4 years older than me. I repented of the sexual sin and asked Jesus to be my Lord.  I wanted a fresh start and boy was I hungry.  I grew alot that year before heading off to grad school in Albany, the capital of NY.  I was only about 80 minutes east of my hometown but I decided to try to  find a church in my new area.  I did and that's where I met Dave my then future husband! We have been married for almost 33 years and I am so glad I heard that Voice that said to wait.

You see......Tim......years after we split up and when my youngest was just a preschooler, had married a woman and had 5 children!  A girl and then 4 boys.  He and his wife homeschooled most of them from what I have read in the newspapers.  One day my mom told me to check my email and when I did she had attached a news article stating that Tim...the man I almost married....was going to prison for life.  He had been found guilty of raping his 11 year old daughter and probably murdering her even though the courts never proved that.  The medical examiner ruled it a suicide but apparently the way it happened was impossible for her to do so.  Either way, he is in prison and God spared me a lifetime of woe! Someone I told this testimony to once, didn't believe me until she googled the incident.  And then she was blown away. 

You see, even in our  backslidden state, we can hear from that still, small Voice.  The Holy Spirit is who draws us back to Christ. My heart was so ready to be loved by God again....to walk alongside Him and allow Him to lead me.  

There have been other times when I have heard the Voice of God whispering to me.  I've shared some of those times here on this blog.  But this time....in about 1984, was one of the most important times.  I marvel at how God spared me.  It disgusts me that this ex-boyfriend of mine turned out to be a horrible person.  I pray that he comes to Christ. But the only way people turn to Christ is if they really listen to that Voice calling out to them and then accepting the Savior. 

I hope and pray that this testimony encourages you today to keep pressing in to the Lord.  He does guide us.  He does speak with us.  and He does save us from heartache. 

How thankful I am for the Lord's forgiveness, mercy, and grace on my life!