GOLD in the CLOUDS : His Face

Lisha Kill Preserve

The morning started out with me just wanting to get in a trail run (only to discover my chiropractor and PT are correct...trail running brings on the cervical spine pain so I can no longer do this activity...I'm stubborn...I just really wanted to try one more time thinking maybe God had healed me) and have a kind of "sabbath" with God in the woods at a local nature preserve I hadn't been to since last December.

Well, God had other plans. And yes, He's healed me, but not in the physical sense.

As I ran, I felt the sun shining through the trees. I was the only human in these woods. I had no fear. It was a crisp, cool morning.

As I continued to run, I stopped because I heard a thrashing sound and immediately...before I could whip out my phone and snap a pic.....two full grown, beautiful deer bounded away from me about 8 feet from where I was standing. I gasped because I heard that Scripture in my head:

And all of a sudden...just like God does when we are making space for Sabbath, He whispered to my soul. I wrote the words down in my phone notes app so I wouldn't forget:

"You've been parched for My abundant joy these last four months. But you needed to find My Peace first. Like this creek is parched for more water and relies on Me to send the rain, find your Living Water in Me. Rely on Me."

the Lisha Kill (Creek) where the deer bounded up from

I continued to do a slow jog and finally when my upper back was screaming, I slowed down to a stroll. So much for getting the heart rate up. I was more interested in my heart's spiritual condition! And I was overwhelmed with gratitude that it seemed like Jesus was walking right alongside me. It's so hard to explain this experience. And then these words:

"You find your peace and joy in My Spirit which is in you and all around you and you will continue in this Peace. Joy comes from My Peace. I made you strong to endure those trials and your weaknesses which in your case is the need to control your life, those horrible triggers that crop up, and your own personal impatience with Me and with your self. Those are the things I'm using to give you strength! I will use your weaknesses like I did Gideon's and you will be strong but it's MY Strength in you. I have used those triggers to get you to a new place. I have used your need to control by doing things out of the order in which you yourself would have done them. I have told you this. Believe this. Look to Me for your strength. Your weaknesses were used to find My Peace. And now My Joy."

I began to make my way through the woods and soon realized I was a little bit lost. I had no markers....theere was a lot of blowdown and the trail was no longer apparent due to all the fallen leaves.

But I had no fear and when I looked up, into the sky, it was like the face of God was shining down on me. After all, Jesus is the Light of the world! God is Light!

I have always....my entire life since age 15....wanted to touch the Hand of God. I've never felt like I could quite reach it. I won't go into details as to why that is, but some of you reading this, know my testimony and my angst surrounding this. But today? I felt like if I reached my hand up, He would hold it.

I "felt" as though Jesus Himself was holding my hand. It was such an emotional moment but it was also a powerful one because I can now "see" that He holds us. He does. There are so many Scriptures about this. Jesus sits at the right hand of the Throne. God holds us by the right hand. Well, I stretched out my left hand because I'm left handed and it's just natural for me to do so. Plus I needed my right hand to snap the pic. 😊 In Biblical tradition, the right hand symbolizes strength and protection. But for us? I'm sure God is ok with us imagining our left hand being held! One of my fave Scriptures is this one:

I continued walking down to the creek and then back up once I found the trail again. And I was a little sad that I couldnt....shouldn't.....run. But again, God spoke something to me and it actually brought such comfort:

"you don't need to run physically any more. You still get to hike and walk in the woods and up mountains. But more importantly, my child, you don't need to run from your thoughts anymore. Give your thoughts to Me, talk to Me about them. Even if you have to read something over and over and over in My Word. Even if you have to call a friend for support. You have tried running from Me, your thoughts, your past....but I AM the I Am and I am using all of it to strengthen you, to free you. I love you deeply. Your thoughts are important to me. I think about you so think about Me. "