My patience was tried over the weekend. I had to have a difficult phone conversation with a member of my hiking group. It did not go well. She became super defensive and could not grasp any wrong that she did.
What did she do wrong? She basically ignored most of the guidelines for the hiking group: didn't wait at the summit ascent, didn't wait at the trail split before the ascent, didn't get enough sleep the night before so had to sleep in the car, and brought breakfast with her which she attempted to eat in my car thus stinking it up with shrimp smell which is nauseating to me (and maybe to others). I tried to overlook past issues but this time it was a matter of safety. She had wandered, with another member who is brand new, off the trail and they were so far ahead of the rest of us, that I could not see them until we got to the flat part of the trail (the last half mile out is all flat) and spotted them through the bare trees. If it had been mid-summer and all those trees had their leaves, we would not have seen them.
I needed to address the issues and I tried. I started off with positive things like I used to do at IEP meetings for my special needs prek students. Then I shared the concern and she "lost it". I don't do well with supposed "friends" screaming at me. The yelling brought on major neck pain and a headache. and it hasn't gone away. There was no reasoning with her. It was like talking with a child. She could not see that she did anything "wrong". She kept telling me to stop talking. Um. I'm the leader of the group. But I finally realized I was not going to be able to get her to see what she did wrong. I kept my mouth shut and just agreed that she knew what she was doing. She didn't. But it did force me to take stock of what this past year has been like and forced me to realize I need to make some serious changes.
I think what hurt the most, was not her unwillingness to admit she didn't follow group guidelines, but that I thought we had a better friendship than apparently we do. Real friends...especially sisters in Christ...do not yell and tell the leader to be quiet. That does NOT go over well with me. So I am choosing to distance myself from her now. She can remain in the group and attend the mandated meeting I'm requiring all members to attend this winter. It is there that she will need to keep her mouth shut and listen to me. I will be in teaching mode and basically tell them that if anyone continues to ignore the guidelines, they will be dropped from this group.
Why does it seem like I have so much patience for small children yet basically none for adults who think they know it all??
And God.....He's showing me that although I don't have patience for certain adults, He does. He has SO MUCH patience. He is patient all.the.time. He waits for us.
He showed me what to do moving forward into 2027 and although now I have some self-doubt and fear about doing what I know He's showing me to do, I need to stand on this promise:
and it's a part of the fruit of the Spirit that God is still cultivating in me. We all are in growth processes and we are all different.
So I reached out in prayer to God this morning and asked Him to give me a heart of patience when dealing with my hiking group members. Some make it so very easy. There's like 3 that make it so very difficult. But guess what?
That's when I can show the love of Jesus and model how I want to be treated. I don't need to succumb to yelling at friends. Not every member of SoulSteps is a close friend of mine, nor do I expect them to be. I love all of them, of course, and I want them to have fun while getting the hiking fitness in. But I also need to place boundaries around certain people just for my own sanity. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. I know who my true friends are....the ones I can call and ask for prayer, or go to coffee with, or just hike separately from the group with. I don't need 40 people to be my closest friends. That's not what this hiking group is about. I would lead the group even if no one was a friend to me. It's a passion of mine and it's one I love to share. I know I need to teach what the vision of this group actually is and what it is not. I'm a bit hesitant to do so but I know it's what God is telling me to do. I need to obey my Father. But.....it's in the waiting for further instruction where I will have my most intimate moments with Him these next few weeks....it's in the waiting that I'm learning about patience.
Patience. Kindness. Self-control. These are parts of the fruit that often are difficult to display when we are upset with others.
But I press on in Christ knowing that I'm doing the work He has for me to do.
I'm thankful the 2026 hiking season, for the most part, went really well. I'm really thankful for the new members who have a passion to be in the mountains like I do.
I'm thankful for my faithful members who offer to drive, who follow the guidelines, who don't create drama, and who are quick to listen and quick to offer to pray for me. And while I wait for God to continue to show me what He wants me doing this winter with this group (I wish He'd hurry up!!), I will continue to read and plan and stay grounded in Scripture because that is the Sword of the Spirit and that's our firm foundation.
Even when we run out of patience...........
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