"Even when the rainbow seems to pass right by me....I'm still finding Gold in the clouds....."

17 February 2008


My youngest was up early today. Not unusual for her. She has never needed more than 8 hours of sleep. Unlike her teen sister who usually gets about 10 on a weekend. 7 on a school nite.
So....she spent some time on the couch with me in the living room this a.m. while I was having my devotional time. She hardly ever curls right up next to me as physical touch is not really a love language for her nor does she really want kisses anymore. It's the age, I know! So this a.m. was especially sweet for me....she was in her jammies and fleece robe with her long hair all tumbling around her shoulders and just seemed like such a "tween". I still think of her as my little girl, my baby, but she is sooo not a baby any longer. Those baby cheeks are leaner, the chunkiness in her legs is totally gone...well...you know what I am talking about if you have a tween or older child!
Anyways: once we started chatting about which devotional we were going to study together later (we are still working our way through GirlzRock Devotions book, and we don't go "in order"...I tend to find selections based on what the girls are dealing with at the moment). We opted for the one titled "Don't Lose Yourself". It is based on I Corinthians 15: 33 which states:
"Do not be misled: 'bad company corrupts good character.'" (NIV)
The selection is basically talking about how it really does matter what kinds of friends we hang out with. Immoral, dishonest friends can ruin our good habits and godly character if we are not careful. Does this mean we can never be around people who are not godly? No! Jesus did! Jesus hung out with tax collectors (thieves) and prostitutes. There is a difference between talking with people who might be "bad company" and choosing these same people for our closest friends. We should be friendly and kind to everyone. But...as I am telling/teaching/training my daughters: choose friends who have high morals/good character to be close friends. These kinds of friendships can help build and grow your own character. You can help each other! The author uses the example of a glass of pure, clean water. If you mix it with dirty water, the dirt just spreads....the purity does not! All of the water is now dirty. This is the same with friends who might have immoral behavior/no boundaries in their lives, etc.
I plan on teaching the girls during our devotional today that they could "lose"them selves if they choose the wrong friends as close friends. They both have friends who are unchurched, who don't have "rules", who might cheat/lie/bully. But...they are learning not to choose these girls to be close confidants. My desire and prayer for them is to choose friends who help them to draw closer to God and who exhibit moral behavior. I have been teaching them since PreKindergarten days to choose friends who are kind to others, who share, who don't swear, who listen to their parent(s), who don't gossip about others, who don't mock others/bully. As they have grown, so has the list! My oldest is constantly rolling her eyes at me before going out the door to a dance or birthday party because I remind her "don't drink something and then put it down somewhere and then go back for it" (I have had to warn her about peers possibly putting drugs into her drink like at school dances...yes there are teens out there who engage in this behavior!). I've had to limit a friend from spending time with her because this "friend" mocks others, appears to be "over-indulged" by her parents, has no set boundaries, and is "chasing boys". Now all of these are "typical" teen behaviors. But I remind my daughter that she is a Christian teen....meaning since she asked Jesus into her heart, she needs to be "a little Christ" here on earth. Will she sin? Absolutely...we all do! Will she be tempted to mock others? Of course. Will she try to get around our rules? Of course. Will she want to date eventually? Of course. But.....she also knows the boundaries we have set in place and her job right now, at this age, is to abide by them. Having close friends who don't have similar boundaries and values will be harder for her. My prayer is that both of my daughters would be kind, generous and honest friends to all kinds of kids; unchurched, unsaved, saved, different religion, different race, different socioeconomic group, etc. BUT...I also pray that they would choose as their closest friends, the ones who share similar beliefs in God, who regularly strive to draw closer to God, and are reciprocal in their friendship.
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Other Scriptures on this topic that I want to teach my daughters:
  • "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13: 20
  • "Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly." 2 Timothy 2: 16
  • "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Put away perversity from your mouth; keep corrupt talk far from your lips." Proverbs 4: 23 & 24
  • "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman (girl) who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31: 30
What about you? When you are talking about choosing friends/friendships with your children, what are some Scriptures you use? What kinds of things do you tell your child to look for in a friend? Do they ever invite their unchurched friends to church? If so, what happened? Do your children have just church friends or do they associate with kids who don't share the same beliefs? If so, how do you help your child to manage any conflicts that might come up?

2 comments:

Connie Marie said...

Quiet early mornings with one of the kids was always special for me too. I love how you have devotions with your daughters, that is so good.

God bless you as you continue to raise Godly women.

Faith said...

Hi Connie Marie: well, I'm trying! It gets hard. We don't do devotionals every nite as just doens't work with our life style. We do have Sundays set aside as it is our Sabbath...sometimes our Sabbath is Sat depending on what is going on socially! It's good though...I want them to be strong spiritually when they leave for college!