Using Wisdom and Common Sense

Am meditating on Proverbs 14: 15 today: "Only simpletons believe everything they are told! The prudent carefully consider their steps." (NLT).

In a previous post this week, I had been sharing that I was saddened to hear from a family we know and have been friends with for some time, that they were "mistreated" and "judged" upon leaving their former church. Which happens to be our former church. At first I was taken by surprise, because the person telling me this story has had a habit of exaggerating, gossiping and being bitter. And yet, for some reason, (that still small Voice, maybe?) I believed her and her husband. And yet....I still was wary.
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. However, I have also learned over the years to carefully weigh things that are told to me. To try to discern truth from fiction. Truth from lies. Fact from gossip or bitterness. I also sometimes just tell the person I need to get off the phone to avoid idle chatter or malicious talk!
BUT...in meditating on this most of the week I have come to some conclusions. And it's funny, but one of the devotionals from a book I am doing with my daughters, had this topic for the week! The devotional highlighted for the girls the main theme of praying and asking the Holy Spirit to show them what choices to make, what action to take. But...I took it a step further and thought about this in regards to believing what people say to us.

Is my friend lying? No. There is some truth to what she is saying.
People, even leaders, make mistakes and judge others.
Does all this matter now....3 years later?
To my friend, yes it does.
To me, not so much.

Yet I care about my friend. I have seen much spiritual growth and change in her.
Her family is in a church in their community that is thriving and they are once again an involved family serving the Lord. This makes me happy for them. I rejoice and thank God for answered prayer.

BUT...I also must use caution when listening.
We need to be wise.
We need to examine what people tell us or share with us.
We need to give careful thought to what we should do, if anything.
For me, the Lord impressed on me to just let her speak.
To listen.
And then all I needed to say was a reminder that the past is the past and that as mature Christians we need to just forgive the people (easier said than done but once done, it is so free-ing!) who caused the emotional hurt and move on. Lay it at the foot of the cross.

I think in this particular case, there were so many parties involved and so many hurtful things said or done that there will always be some bitterness unless those parties fully give it over to God and let Him carry the burden and free their souls.
BOTH PARTIES. The family who feel hurt and the leadership who mishandled the situation.

As for my part in it: I can be a friend. But I also need to draw those boundaries in the relationship to where I am not just blindly agreeing with her or just blindly accepting it as gospel truth. Did the situation really happen the way I was told? Most likely.
Doesn't matter. God knows. God has to deal with the hearts of the people involved. It is not my role. My role is to show the love of Christ to hurting people.My role is to be truthful at all times.

My role is to "carefully consider my steps". And trust what the Holy Spirit is telling me.

Common sense also plays a part. I know both parties involved. My own knowledge and experience with both parties knows that both parties are wrong and yet both parties have some grain of truth.
AND my common sense tells me to avoid both parties in this situation because it is not for me to solve or fix.

We have God who is the only One who can fix people!
And we have a great God who gives common sense to people who are willing to ask for it and accept it!