When it comes to parenting, do you trust your instincts?
or do you trust the self-help/parenting books that are on bookshelves and touted in magazines, both secular and Christian ad nauseum??
What about the trust/counsel of leadership like church leaders, youth group workers, community leaders, teachers, principals, politicians?
What about the pediatrician, dermatalogist, pyschologist, school counselor, mentor?
What about your spouse?
What about other parents, grandparents, extended family members?
What about your own children?
What about God?
In whom do you place your trust?
Who do you turn to for parenting advice, for venting about teen angst, for a sympathetic ear?
Our sermon series for the next few weeks has been about "life2gthr". Catchy sermon series title, isn't it? Pastor Rex is very creative! So far he has talked about having close friends that we do life with. And that we have different levels of friendships.
This has led me to think about in whom do we confide our greatest fears, worries, anxieties, accomplishments, successes, celebrations?
I have often felt "alone" in my parenting. Keep in mind that I am not actually alone. I have a very involved husband who is a very involved dad...well...involved in certain ways. I doubt he can tell you the name of the girls' orthodontal group or the principal of the wing that his teen daughter is in at the high school! I have taught parenting classes to inner city parents. I have run parent-teacher conferences and IEP meetings. I have mentored other parents of tweens and preschoolers. Most of my friends are parents. We have common experiences, beliefs and value systems. But.....sometimes....although surrounded by family, friends and the faith community, I have still felt alone. Especially in my thoughts for the girls' futures.
Has anyone else felt this way?
Do any of you wonder about which college your child will choose?
Do you wonder about what type of man your daughter might date....and maybe marry?
Do you worry about money for college? and that most children have to take out large loans to just pay for books, let alone tuition?
Do you worry about their purity, innocence, safety?
I know I do at times.
And it is at those times that I try to remember to just trust. To trust in the One who brings ultimate Peace. Philippians 4:6 is probably one of the more familiar verses for talking about peace: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
As we begin to trust God, that Peace will envelop us. You might have to picture your self laying your burdens, worries, anxieties, hopes and dreams for your children (or your self!) down at the foot of the Cross and leaving them there. Or maybe you need to imagine your self taking Jesus' hand and walking through this life together. That is what I am currently doing.
Sometimes I have to recite over and over my favorite verse from Proverbs: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths." (Prov. 3:5&6)
I don't know which college my daughter will be applying to and attending.
I don't know whom she will marry, or if she marries.
I don't know what kind of a driver she will be when she starts learning this summer.
I don't know if she will choose to be baptised at Grace Fellowship or if she will wait.
I don't even know if she will continue in the faith/beliefs we are raising her to know.
What I do know is that there is Someone who walks beside me, who is closer than a brother.
He brings Peace to my heart as I learn to trust Him more and more. Yes, I use all the help aides I can get my hands on. Yes, I know which friends to turn to when I have questions about teens.....I am thankful I have friends who have been through the teen years in their parenting experience. Yes, I sometimes just "go with my gut"...my maternal instincts, my common sense, or my educational background.
But...as I continue to parent a teenager (and a tween!) I am finding that I am reaching more and more for His Hand to help me do life. We are doing life together.
It's all about Trust.
In whom do you place your trust today?
5 comments:
Thank you for this reminder, Faith. Phil 4:6 is one of my favorite verses; probably because I need to remind myself of it daily. I think it is a mom's nature to worry -- at least it is my nature. But, God calls us to be anxious for NOTHING! Wow, that is a pretty tall order for me. I like your suggestions for surrender. I think I need to daily picture myself both casting my cares at his feet and walking hand in hand with Him. God bless you, friend. :)
I totally relate to sometimes feeling very alone in parenting. Hmmm, I'll have to think on why that is.
There have been a few instances in instances involving my kid's friendships where I have had to go with what I felt God was saying even when everybody else around me was saying something different, including leadership. That was hard but it was definitely correct in the end. God always knows best.
Yes I have had many times when I have trouble trusting the Lord for my kids and wondering if others feels this way. But I have come to the conclusion that many moms have walked the same road through the years! I can't imagine how hard it would be to be a mom and not a christian.
This is a wonderful and honest post, Faith. Yes, like you, many times I felt alone as my kids were growing up. I think it's because I wanted God's VERY BEST for them, and I was unwilling to compromise. That involved lots of sacrifice, going against the secular norm, and risky decision-making. Fortunately my DH and I agreed on 99% of everything. Our kids turned out very well, and the "alone" times were worth it. Keep on keeping on...
(((Hugs)))
Great exhortation, Faith on trusting the Lord! Everything that we commit into His hands, He takes great care of. Such an awesome Father we have! :)
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