Every Christmas since my daughters were born, I have shopped and shopped and shopped for gifts and gifts and more gifts.
I love giving gifts at Christmas time.
In fact, like most suburban Americans, we have probably "spoiled" our children with gifts. My primary love language is gifts. I love to give! I love buying things for my children, from warm, fuzzy socks right up to the latest trend in toys.
Until this year.
This year, sometime around mid-September, I decided to have a simpler, easier holiday season. For 6 years, I was a full time stay at home mommy. For all of my youngest daughter's first 5 years of her life, I taught/counseled just 2 days a week....so I was basically a stay at home mommy for her, too. I would have everything done, including cookies in the freezer, all gifts bought and wrapped, all decorations organized, by the time Thanksgiving rolled around. It was great. Or so I thought. Yes, I had high credit card bills but we always have paid them off each month.....it is how my husband likes it. And yes...I would still be stressed with trying to create the "perfect" Christmas. (there is no such thing, you know!...well, ok, maybe the very first one was perfect....the Baby certainly was, huh?! )I even had to throw in hosting a party for close friends! Add to that a December 21st birthday for my youngest plus weekend visits from one set of grandparents and a Xmas eve visit from the other set....well.....yes...I would get stressed.
But..this year, as I was driving to work , I decided that I was not gonna run my self ragged with shopping, shopping, shopping and trying to bake hundreds of various cookies. Plus work with special needs kindergartners every morning. Plus manage and clean the house. And grocery shop. And taxi the girls to their after school activities and church ministries. Plus serve at church. Etc. Etc. Daily life. This was even more confirmed after we served the poor on Thanksgiving day out in MA and we were talking as a family about how very blessed we are and how we really don't need a lot of "stuff" any more.
So....I decided to incorporate something my sister in law from MA does.
I decided to focus on 3 main categories: Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. The gifts that the wisemen (Magi) brought to Jesus. It works like this:
Gold: the "G" stands for garments. As in clothing. Both of my daughters love trendy clothes...so do I! I love buying the cute sweaters, leggings, tunic tops, hobo gloves...all these "in" items for the season. Love to buy jeans when the sale is hot! I was able to get my oldest daughter a pair of $60.00 jeans for just $15.99 with the online sales 2 weeks ago! Now that is a deal! So...I decided to pare down their clothing wish list and just purchase the things they really need: a pair of jeans, socks, a couple of shirts and a mittens/scarf set for my oldest. My youngest is getting some dance pants and a couple of tops and socks. My husband is getting one sweater. It has taken the stress off of finding the exact trendy thing and I have not had to go to the mall since November for clothing. I ordered everything for the girls online and even received free shipping and handling as well as 40% off two of the items....now that is what I call easy shopping!
Frankincense: the "F" stands for fun: I decided each daughter would receive just 2-3 "fun" items like a board game, gameboy game, etc. Things along those lines. Again, just 2 things....wow....this is easy....my husband is also getting something "fun".
Myrrh: the "M" stands for mind: things like books/music. Our family is known to purchase LOTS of children's and teen books. We love books in this house....all of us are voracious readers although my husband reads less than us girls. Again, I used to buy about a dozen books each. No longer! Each daughter is getting just a couple of books that were on the wish list. Again, I am saving money, time and stress.
Will they freak out because there will be less to open under the Christmas tree? No. We have already discussed this and they know it is happening.
It is good for us. They will still have a good amount of gifts to open, plus their stockings.
We don't need more "stuff". I am not saying this plan will work for all families nor am I saying it is a sin to buy things for Christmas presents. Certainly not! As a matter of fact, that is how I first taught my children, at about age 2, that we give gifts at Christmas time because that is when God the Father gave us His most Precious Gift of all: His Son, Jesus who came as a baby to experience life as a human here on earth. I told them we give to others as a symbolic act of God giving to us. They get this. Yes...they love their "stuff"...but they are both beginning to really love the things of God....and that is the greatest gift they can give me!
G, F, M.....3 categories.
I love giving gifts at Christmas time.
In fact, like most suburban Americans, we have probably "spoiled" our children with gifts. My primary love language is gifts. I love to give! I love buying things for my children, from warm, fuzzy socks right up to the latest trend in toys.
Until this year.
This year, sometime around mid-September, I decided to have a simpler, easier holiday season. For 6 years, I was a full time stay at home mommy. For all of my youngest daughter's first 5 years of her life, I taught/counseled just 2 days a week....so I was basically a stay at home mommy for her, too. I would have everything done, including cookies in the freezer, all gifts bought and wrapped, all decorations organized, by the time Thanksgiving rolled around. It was great. Or so I thought. Yes, I had high credit card bills but we always have paid them off each month.....it is how my husband likes it. And yes...I would still be stressed with trying to create the "perfect" Christmas. (there is no such thing, you know!...well, ok, maybe the very first one was perfect....the Baby certainly was, huh?! )I even had to throw in hosting a party for close friends! Add to that a December 21st birthday for my youngest plus weekend visits from one set of grandparents and a Xmas eve visit from the other set....well.....yes...I would get stressed.
But..this year, as I was driving to work , I decided that I was not gonna run my self ragged with shopping, shopping, shopping and trying to bake hundreds of various cookies. Plus work with special needs kindergartners every morning. Plus manage and clean the house. And grocery shop. And taxi the girls to their after school activities and church ministries. Plus serve at church. Etc. Etc. Daily life. This was even more confirmed after we served the poor on Thanksgiving day out in MA and we were talking as a family about how very blessed we are and how we really don't need a lot of "stuff" any more.
So....I decided to incorporate something my sister in law from MA does.
I decided to focus on 3 main categories: Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. The gifts that the wisemen (Magi) brought to Jesus. It works like this:
Gold: the "G" stands for garments. As in clothing. Both of my daughters love trendy clothes...so do I! I love buying the cute sweaters, leggings, tunic tops, hobo gloves...all these "in" items for the season. Love to buy jeans when the sale is hot! I was able to get my oldest daughter a pair of $60.00 jeans for just $15.99 with the online sales 2 weeks ago! Now that is a deal! So...I decided to pare down their clothing wish list and just purchase the things they really need: a pair of jeans, socks, a couple of shirts and a mittens/scarf set for my oldest. My youngest is getting some dance pants and a couple of tops and socks. My husband is getting one sweater. It has taken the stress off of finding the exact trendy thing and I have not had to go to the mall since November for clothing. I ordered everything for the girls online and even received free shipping and handling as well as 40% off two of the items....now that is what I call easy shopping!
Frankincense: the "F" stands for fun: I decided each daughter would receive just 2-3 "fun" items like a board game, gameboy game, etc. Things along those lines. Again, just 2 things....wow....this is easy....my husband is also getting something "fun".
Myrrh: the "M" stands for mind: things like books/music. Our family is known to purchase LOTS of children's and teen books. We love books in this house....all of us are voracious readers although my husband reads less than us girls. Again, I used to buy about a dozen books each. No longer! Each daughter is getting just a couple of books that were on the wish list. Again, I am saving money, time and stress.
Will they freak out because there will be less to open under the Christmas tree? No. We have already discussed this and they know it is happening.
It is good for us. They will still have a good amount of gifts to open, plus their stockings.
We don't need more "stuff". I am not saying this plan will work for all families nor am I saying it is a sin to buy things for Christmas presents. Certainly not! As a matter of fact, that is how I first taught my children, at about age 2, that we give gifts at Christmas time because that is when God the Father gave us His most Precious Gift of all: His Son, Jesus who came as a baby to experience life as a human here on earth. I told them we give to others as a symbolic act of God giving to us. They get this. Yes...they love their "stuff"...but they are both beginning to really love the things of God....and that is the greatest gift they can give me!
G, F, M.....3 categories.
In the future, once they are off to college, my plan is to have just 1 item under each category. They will be older.
The challenging part has been the fact that the girls are 5 1/2 years apart. Courtney is 16 and Claire turns 11 on Monday. Courtney, as she has become older, receives less "stuff" because her items are more expensive! (i-pods, cell phones.). Our habit has always been to purchase one large item (meaning large in price) and many, many smaller things. This year is so different compared to previous ones. Claire, being still a child although technically a "tween" receives more gifts/toys but again, this year will be different. Instead of 3 webkinz sitting under the tree there will be only 1. Instead of several American Girl items, there will be just one.
WHY am I doing Christmas this way?
To teach my children that they are NOT entitled to whatever their hearts desire.
To teach them that the gift exchange is NOT what Christmas is all about.
Yes, it is fun, and special and can be very meaningful. Yes, they have often made homemade cards and gifts...those are special. But....life is short. There are so many more important things to dwell on at this time of year.
Time with family.
Time with friends. Talking, listening, sharing.
Helping a family in need.
Praying and reading the Word together as a family. (we lack in this area....I am determined to convince my husband that this needs to improve in the new year...). Dave is not one for family devotions so much of the Scripture teaching has had to come from me. I don't mind....but...sometimes the teenager wants no part of it. She would rather get it from her own time in the Word or from her life group leader (youth group small group) or from the Youth Pastor. Those are all good things.
But...I want to be the major influence in my daughters' spiritual walk. I think it can begin by toning down the amount of "stuff".
As they grow up, I am seeing how compassionate they are. How kind to their friends. How outgoing they are about their church activities and about their faith. Even teachers have commented on this to me about them.
I thank the Lord for that!
And they do know the real meaning of Christmas. They can spout it back to you....but... I want it to really get into their hearts, not just their minds.
Christmas is a time of giving.
What better gift can we give our children than the knowledge that we love them for themselves? And that we don't have to buy their love with tons of gifts/toys.
I will always give gifts at Christmas time to my family and special friends...it is who I am.
But how free-ing it has been to focus on the special gifts of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh.... Or, for us modern moms: Garments, Fun Stuff, Mind (educational) items.
It has been free-ing to focus on purchasing just things that mean something to each daughter. And to my husband.
And I hope to focus, with them, on the most important gift of all!
"...but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 6:23b
"and this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son." I John 5:11
The challenging part has been the fact that the girls are 5 1/2 years apart. Courtney is 16 and Claire turns 11 on Monday. Courtney, as she has become older, receives less "stuff" because her items are more expensive! (i-pods, cell phones.). Our habit has always been to purchase one large item (meaning large in price) and many, many smaller things. This year is so different compared to previous ones. Claire, being still a child although technically a "tween" receives more gifts/toys but again, this year will be different. Instead of 3 webkinz sitting under the tree there will be only 1. Instead of several American Girl items, there will be just one.
WHY am I doing Christmas this way?
To teach my children that they are NOT entitled to whatever their hearts desire.
To teach them that the gift exchange is NOT what Christmas is all about.
Yes, it is fun, and special and can be very meaningful. Yes, they have often made homemade cards and gifts...those are special. But....life is short. There are so many more important things to dwell on at this time of year.
Time with family.
Time with friends. Talking, listening, sharing.
Helping a family in need.
Praying and reading the Word together as a family. (we lack in this area....I am determined to convince my husband that this needs to improve in the new year...). Dave is not one for family devotions so much of the Scripture teaching has had to come from me. I don't mind....but...sometimes the teenager wants no part of it. She would rather get it from her own time in the Word or from her life group leader (youth group small group) or from the Youth Pastor. Those are all good things.
But...I want to be the major influence in my daughters' spiritual walk. I think it can begin by toning down the amount of "stuff".
As they grow up, I am seeing how compassionate they are. How kind to their friends. How outgoing they are about their church activities and about their faith. Even teachers have commented on this to me about them.
I thank the Lord for that!
And they do know the real meaning of Christmas. They can spout it back to you....but... I want it to really get into their hearts, not just their minds.
Christmas is a time of giving.
What better gift can we give our children than the knowledge that we love them for themselves? And that we don't have to buy their love with tons of gifts/toys.
I will always give gifts at Christmas time to my family and special friends...it is who I am.
But how free-ing it has been to focus on the special gifts of Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh.... Or, for us modern moms: Garments, Fun Stuff, Mind (educational) items.
It has been free-ing to focus on purchasing just things that mean something to each daughter. And to my husband.
And I hope to focus, with them, on the most important gift of all!
"...but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 6:23b
"and this is the testimony: God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son." I John 5:11
9 comments:
Faith,
you can write me at my mail and after i will have you mail ,it ok for me you deceide.
here in Romania is very cold , is so good at home when autside is so cold . God blessed me with warm , love and bread !
When i was a child in that orphanage always i had dreamed at one warm home and one good bread ,
Yes my dear the GOD is great and soon we celebraite the birth of our LORD Jesus.
This season make me cry almost daily becouse i`m gratefuly to my LORD for this things which i`m blessed one beautiful family , one house we have one simple apartment with 3 rooms ( sometimes i feel that is too much for me ) becouse of that i share my home with poors alway( eery Saturday i take at home 2 or 3 poor kids for one good dinner and one bath with many bubbles) to show HIM my respect and my love for all the blessed things what HE givit to me !!!
After i leaving from the orphanage i sleeped autside almost 2 weeks until i meet one good man. For me that man it was the Samaritan of my life !
MY KING
My King is the pathway to peace,
His promise is sure,
His life is matchless,
His goodness is limitless,
His mercy is everlasting,
His love never changes,
His word is enough,
His grace is sufficient,
His reign is righteous,
His yoke is easy,
And His burden is light,
He is indescribable,
He is incomprehensible,
He is invincible,
He is irrestible,
The heaven of heavens cannot contain Him,
Let alone a man explain Him,
You can't outgive Him,
He owns the cattle on a thousand hills
You can't get Him out of your mind,
You can't get Him off your hands,
You can't outlive Him,
And you can't live without Him,
The Pharisees couldn't stand Him, but they found they couldn't stop Him,
Pilate couldn't find any fault in Him,
And Herod couldn't kill Him,
Death couldn't handle Him,
And the grave couldn't hold Him!
have a blessed day , Violeta
i have forgot on adresss for mailing boxes to write before country
Oficiul Postal nr 2 is very important if not we nust to go after boxes in another town and is very expencive .
blessings,Violeta
That was so well written and very well thought out. It was a blessing to read and to take in to my mind. I think I may talk to my husband about implementing this next year.
I always feel so very blessed every year having the privilage to have 3 adopted and one homemade children that I tend to spoil them. However to teach them more about what the true meaning is behind what we do and to simplify it all to focus more on Christ is the REAL gift. Thanks for sharing.
God bless and have a wonderful Christmas filled with HIS blessings.
HUGS
Joy
VIOLETA,
Your words moved me so much. as 3 of my children are adopted. Your strong faith is beautiful. May God bless you and give you a wonderful Christmas!
By the way my husband is 1/3 Romanian.
God bless
Joy
(sorry Faith I could only post to her here as it would not click to her page)
VIoleta: thanks for the wonderful, moving poem! God's blessings to you this Christmas season...and thank you for sharing your story!!
Joy: yes, it has definitely simplified my life..I am thankful you were touched by the post....Happy Christmas to you...!!
Answer for JOY :
Merry Christmas to you my dear !
I wish you to have beautiful life and many blessed days with you childrens.
And if you want one friend you can email me here :
tibivio72@yahoo.com
sweet blessings ,
Violeta
Joy ,
i dont have one blog in future yes my english is little poor until i will learn much more .But you can read my life story at my friend Tammy Nischan - on the blog : My heart His blog - at archive november at post Humbled and Convicted .
Faith , thank you for you words!!! ,
with love in Christ ,
Violeta
We've done something similar for many years. With three kids plus 6 - 7 dayhome kids and other families to buy for plus the youngest's birthday on Christmas Day it just gets overwhelming.
We open our stockings Christmas eve and in there I always have a movie or music item, some kind of chocolate treat, makeup items for the girls, hair junk for the boy (cause he uses gels), shower gels, little mitts, etc. etc.
Then Christmas morning we have our other gifts. One which is a new pair of jammies, one which is a clothing item, and one fun item. (And like you said as they get older it is more expensive in the fun item department.) And that is it. By the time they open those and then gifts from each other and grandparents and aunts and uncles it is plenty!
Oh wow susanne! I forgot you have one with a xmas birthday!! My children no longer get or give to extended family other than the grandparents..it was getting way out of hand for everyone.....I do like the simpler way this year...has eased up lots of stress!!
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