Lead Us

It's Marriage Monday!!

 E-mom is our host and if you want to participate head over to her site and link up!

This month's topic is LEADERSHIP IN MARRIAGE.

This is something that is important, serious, and Biblical.  The husband is to be the leader in a marriage based on Scripture/the Words of God.

Let's start out with a bit of humor:

"There is a story of a man who died and went to heaven to find two signs above two different lines. One sign said: "ALL THOSE MEN WHO HAVE BEEN DOMINATED BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE." That line of men seemed to stretch off through the clouds into infinity.

The second sign read: "ALL THOSE WHO HAVE NEVER BEEN DOMINATED BY THEIR WIVES, STAND HERE." Underneath the sign stood one man.

He went over to the man, grabbed his arm and said, "What's the secret, how did you do it? That other line has millions of men and you are the only one standing in this line."

The man looked around with a puzzled expression and said, "Why, I am not sure I know. My wife just told me to stand here." (author unknown)

Yikes!  How true this is for many Christian marriages today....is it because women don't want to wait around for the husband to take charge or is it because the husband has no idea how (or what it even means) to lead in the home...maybe it's because he had no good role models for a Christian, Biblically-based marriage growing up under his parents. Or perhaps he had no dad to demonstrate proper leadership in the home.  Or perhaps he was from an abusive or domestically violent home which often is NOT a picture of leadership, even though the man might think he is to be dominant.

There are many reasons why men are not being leaders in their own marriages.  I am not much of an expert on this topic but I will share my own experience with my own husband as leader.

I'll do it this way....as a "want ad".

WANTED:  Christian man who is sold out for Jesus.  Man who is willing to put in long hours for no pay, play the role of leader, servant, lover, friend, and daddy.  Willing to participate in extracurricular activities both at home and church.  Willing to lead a ministry.(marriage is a type of ministry)  Willing to take the good with the bad. Must meet various love languages as well as articulate his own love language. Must be practically perfect.......

does such a man exist????

NO!

We are not perfect human beings.  We never will be.  Once we are with Jesus, in heaven, we will be made perfect the way He made us to be before the fall in the Garden of Eden.  However....here on this earth, there is no one who can meet these requirements for "the perfect partner".

My husband is perfect for me.  But he is not perfect.  We have had times in our almost 21 years of marriage where he has definitely not been a leader.  But..he needs to be, based on Scripture.  I am a "control freak" at times....I multi-task, am a type A personality/teacher personality and extremely organized and efficient. My husband is not.  He has learned to be organized because of being married to me.  So, many times, I simply "take over" when in actuality I should be allowing him to lead.  And he will when I ask.  (by the way...being a leader in the home does NOT mean being the "master" or dominating the wife. The wife is not to be subservient in an abusive manner. That is NOT what the Lord intended.).  And really, it is SPIRITUAL LEADERSHIP that we need....yes, it is nice to have him lead in major decisions like what to do about finances, home repairs, children's activities, etc. But honestly, I usually have to make most of those decisions on a daily basis and he often isn't around due to his career.  And at other times, we have a good balance of these things.  But it is the SPIRITUAL LEADERSHIP...that tone, that needs to be present in the home.  (this is assuming that the husband is a Believer)

Let's look at some Scriptures that talk about men being the leader in the marriage:

• "....the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."  I Corinthians 11:3

This simply means the husband is to be the leader in the marriage.

• "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is the head of the church;  and He is the Savior of the body.....husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her......" Ephesians 5:22-25

This shows that the husband is the leader like Jesus is the Leader of HIS Bride, which is the church.  And that the husband is to be a lover.

• "but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of man.  And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross."  Philippians 11:7 & 8

This shows that Jesus became like a servant to us and that is how our husbands need to be in the home....a leader who is also a servant.

I need my husband to be a leader, a servant and a lover.  This is how Jesus is to me...He is my Leader, He served, (died on the cross for me and my sins)  and He is the Lover of my soul.

Husbands need to be like Christ.  I can pray for my husband to rise up and be the leader in the marriage that the Lord wants him to be.

Is he perfect?  No.  Is he gonna stumble at times?  YES....we all do and we need the grace of God....but as a wife, I can make it easier for him to lead, love, and serve.  With gladness......

Thanking God for the man He gave me....a great provider, friend,  husband, daddy,  youth group worker, lover...and brother in Christ.

and I thank God for the One who is our ultimate Leader....Jesus......

Here is a song that I really like...listen to the entire song as the ending lyrics are especially important....please pause my playlist before listening/watching this video......