This month's Marriage Monday topic is ENGAGEMENT!
E-Mom, from Chrysalis, had the idea for women participating in the Marriage Monday ministry, to write about how we became engaged to our husbands.
My husband and I chuckled a bit when we saw this month's topic.
Because his proposal to me was more of a "suppose-al" (his word).
You can read about how we got together by clicking here.
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| downtown Albany Skyline at night as seen from the eastern side of the Hudson River |
ONE ENCHANTED EVENING
Cast of characters: Dave, Faith
Setting: Faith's tiny city apartment in north Albany, NY
Time: August 1989, early evening
It was a hot, humid, August evening.......and the apartment had no air conditioning. Tall, iced glasses of sweet tea sat on the little corner dining table, the bay windows flung wide open, letting in a slight, hot breeze and sounds of children shouting on bikes, cars whizzing by in the setting sun. We had been out to dinner and I had to work the next day in my special education pre-k summer school classroom in Albany. We had been talking about our friendship and where it was headed. I had been explaining to Dave how I just didn't want to enter into yet another relationship that was going to end in hurt and loss....that I valued our friendship way too much and would rather be just good friends if he didn't feel anything more than that.
Here's where the conversation led but since neither one of us can really remember exactly what we said, I'll just summarize.
Faith: I was letting Dave know that I really liked him as a friend but was starting to like him as MORE than a friend and that if he didn't feel the same way, I would need to start spending less time with him (less dating, etc.). At this point, we had only hugged and kissed a few times....we were very careful as I had been living with a guy a few years previous and was back in a relationship with the Lord after repenting of a sinful lifestyle and didn't want to fall back into sexual sin or even be tempted!
Dave: he had been thinking of me as a future marriage partner and had even had a meeting with one of our church elders (we were in a different church than the one we are in now) to discuss his feelings, etc. and to find out "how does someone know if it's a God thing?"
Dave told me "I suppose we should get married". LOL.....this was not really romantic but.....I was super thrilled!! and from that moment on, I thought of that night as "one enchanted evening".
And of course we kissed and he said "I love you" and started making plans.
I thank God that Dave heard from Him and that we were careful in the beginning stages of our friendship. We were FRIENDS first. That is SO IMPORTANT in a marriage. It cannot be all about lust or "falling in love" because that often leads to such shallowness and emptiness and often leads to divorce. If there isn't true friendship among the couple, how in the world are you going to live together after the wedding ceremony??
We announced our engagement later that weekend to family and close friends.
Dave inherited a beautiful diamond ring that had belonged to his great aunt and she passed it down to his mom. His mom was saving it for him to give to his future fiancee. Here is a picture of my diamond......it has only come off twice in my married life (during my last month of both pregnancies as it got too tight with my swollen fingers!). We went to visit his parents in MA later that month and that is when I received my diamond. He very romantically put it on my finger......it was a magical moment for me because I never expected to get married...I was very content with being single.
God is good!! I was 29 years old when I became engaged and married by age 30, 10 months later. I had prayed for a best friend and God brought me that......which is why our wedding theme was "Married for life....friends for eternity".
God granted the desires of my heart for a male friend that just so happened to turn into a husband. 3 years later, He gave both of us our hearts' desire in the form of a baby girl whom we named Courtney Elisabeth. And 5 years after that baby was born, He answered the prayers of my little girl by giving her a baby sister whom we named Claire Rebekah.
When you follow the plan the Lord has for your life.....you will reap blessings.....I am so glad I waited for the Lord's plan for me......I found it one enchanted evening.
Here's where the conversation led but since neither one of us can really remember exactly what we said, I'll just summarize.
Faith: I was letting Dave know that I really liked him as a friend but was starting to like him as MORE than a friend and that if he didn't feel the same way, I would need to start spending less time with him (less dating, etc.). At this point, we had only hugged and kissed a few times....we were very careful as I had been living with a guy a few years previous and was back in a relationship with the Lord after repenting of a sinful lifestyle and didn't want to fall back into sexual sin or even be tempted!
Dave: he had been thinking of me as a future marriage partner and had even had a meeting with one of our church elders (we were in a different church than the one we are in now) to discuss his feelings, etc. and to find out "how does someone know if it's a God thing?"
Dave told me "I suppose we should get married". LOL.....this was not really romantic but.....I was super thrilled!! and from that moment on, I thought of that night as "one enchanted evening".
And of course we kissed and he said "I love you" and started making plans.
I thank God that Dave heard from Him and that we were careful in the beginning stages of our friendship. We were FRIENDS first. That is SO IMPORTANT in a marriage. It cannot be all about lust or "falling in love" because that often leads to such shallowness and emptiness and often leads to divorce. If there isn't true friendship among the couple, how in the world are you going to live together after the wedding ceremony??
We announced our engagement later that weekend to family and close friends.
Dave inherited a beautiful diamond ring that had belonged to his great aunt and she passed it down to his mom. His mom was saving it for him to give to his future fiancee. Here is a picture of my diamond......it has only come off twice in my married life (during my last month of both pregnancies as it got too tight with my swollen fingers!). We went to visit his parents in MA later that month and that is when I received my diamond. He very romantically put it on my finger......it was a magical moment for me because I never expected to get married...I was very content with being single.
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| c. faithe MTPics 2011 |
God is good!! I was 29 years old when I became engaged and married by age 30, 10 months later. I had prayed for a best friend and God brought me that......which is why our wedding theme was "Married for life....friends for eternity".
God granted the desires of my heart for a male friend that just so happened to turn into a husband. 3 years later, He gave both of us our hearts' desire in the form of a baby girl whom we named Courtney Elisabeth. And 5 years after that baby was born, He answered the prayers of my little girl by giving her a baby sister whom we named Claire Rebekah.
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| summit of Little Whiteface Mountain Lake Placid in background September 2004 Courtney age 12, Claire age 5 1/2 c. faithe MTPics 04 |
When you follow the plan the Lord has for your life.....you will reap blessings.....I am so glad I waited for the Lord's plan for me......I found it one enchanted evening.
8 comments:
What a special story!! My hubby and I were wonderful friends for years before we got married and it is what has kept the connection there even in the challenging times. I laughed at the "suppose-al" thing. We actually planned and scheduled our engagement date since we had no time- both of us were in school full time and had 2 jobs. He did plan a surprise event, but the date was set on the calendar by us both. LOL
Christine!! that is so funny...the setting the date thing....omgosh sounds like my life....great to hear from you...has been a long time!!
What a sweet story! And you are so right about the friendship part. It's absolutely crucial! Thanks for sharing your lovely story with all of us!
I love that last line "When you follow the plan the Lord has for your life you will reap blessings" AMEN AMEN AMEN! I thank God every day that he put me in the right place and circumstances to be blessed...it takes obedience as well as patience. That old adage "Good things come to those who wait" is so true and one I'm trying to get my daughters to hold on to (which is not easy in this microwave, fast-service world!)
Thanks for sharing your special story.
A "supposal" -- how perfect! Obviously, it was the right "proposal" for both of you at that point in your relationship.
Lovely story about the ring...such a wonderful symbol of God's bounty, giving us that which we don't even hope for!
Such a nice post.
Your story is similar in many ways to ours. I thought of e-Dad as a GREAT friend for a long time (LOL, I was dating other guys).
Eventually, I realized it would be perfect to marry the person I thought could be my best friend for life. Sounds like you had a similar start. God is good!!!
That's a beautiful diamond ring.
Thanks for joining us for Marriage Monday during such a busy season.
Hugs, e-Mom
How sweet to read of your engagement! Love how you guys emphasized friends first and were respectful of that.
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