Sitting in church this morning, next to my friend Lynn (her husband and mine were away), I leaned over at one point during the sermon (a series on Facing Our Fears) and whispered something to the affect that WOW...God is definitely confirming something...thank the Lord I'm listening!
Seriously....isn't it great when something that has been stirring in your heart for awhile gets confirmed either through His Word by way of your pastor, or a worship song, or a nudge from the Holy Spirit via a friend? This morning it was through my pastor via his sermon notes! Included in every bulletin is a paper with Scripture taken from his sermon and notes....sometimes there are blank spaces in sentences for us to fill in. I LOVE this about our church. It keeps me focused on the sermon and is something tangible I can bring home to meditate on during the week. I have a folder of certain sermon notes I have saved over the last 6 years of being members here.
Anyways....today's sermon was Part 3 in a series of 4 on Facing our Fears. Today's was "Fear of Failure".
And I've been pondering the reasons why I am no longer, as of this upcoming Thursday evening, going to head up and facilitate the local chapter of Moms in Prayer International (formerly known as Moms in Touch). For about a year now I have felt no passion for this ministry. We dropped from 8 people down to 4 and are now down to just 3 of us! I know numbers do not matter. I had a lot of passion for the ministry when my friend Dorrae was in charge. She is the one who began the local group. I had a lot of passion for it 2 years ago when I took the group over as she had to go back to work full time. I've asked my self "is it because now I am working full time that I no longer want to head this up?" "is it because I am already leading and hosting my own small group twice a month and prep for it on the off weeks?" WHAT IS IT, LORD??
And the only things I've been hearing are: It's not your gifting. It's not your passion. And those reasons felt like "selfish" reasons to me. I mean......anyone can pray, right? I am definitely organized......everyone knows it! Sometimes I am anal about being organized! (laughter here!) And I do like praying for my children and their schools! I love getting together to pray.
then why have I felt like this ministry is such a burden?
The answer was confirmed to me today when Pastor Rex shared 4 questions we should be asking about God's Call on our lives:
- Is the calling consistent with God's Word? (YES in this case....He wants us to pray for our children and their schools...I firmly believe that!)
- Is the call confirmed by godly people who know you well? (yes, Dorrae thought I'd be fine as did my husband although he did remind me that my gifting is more teacher than intercessor)
- Is your call repeated by the Holy Spirit? (not in my life....I took the role on because I didn't want to see the group end. I didn't really pray much about it at all. It just seemed like the right thing to do. Just being honest here, folks!)
- Is the call of God in an area of your giftedness and passion? (ABSOLUTELY NOT!).
I am a teacher. In the physical world and in the spiritual.......God has led me to lead a wonderful small group of mom-friends. We are united and are in our 2nd year. This does NOT mean I should be taking on a prayer group as well...especially as I don't really move out in this area, spiritually.
Does that mean I can't try? Of course not! I think God challenges us to try new roles....but...sometimes we need to take a step back. We can't do it all. In this way, perhaps, if there is to be a Moms in Prayer group for our specific school district, God will need to raise someone else up. This might be the chance for that other person to say YES....I CAN DO THIS! (whomever that may be!)
As for me.....total confirmation from my pastor, the sermon he preached, my godly friend Lynn and my other friend Monica, and of course my wise and godly husband, have led me to not fear this change. And to not think of it as a failure. It is what it is, as my friend Melissa would say. I tried. I lost the passion for it. And it wasn't my area of giftedness to begin with!
I've been a little anxious that the remaining women in the group would think of this as a failure and you know what? It doesn't matter. What matters is that I've been feeling like this is not my area for some time now and God showed me today that He is drawing me away from it. Whew....relief to know that I am hearing from Him!!
What freedom there is in facing our fear of failure!!
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| image taken from desktop inspirations |
7 comments:
Wow, Faith. That's neat that everything came together like that. God is pretty cool. When I returned to the church in my 20's after being out for my teen years, I signed up for everything. There was a need, I grabbed on and took charge. But that isn't always what God wants. Sometimes it's difficult to do exactly what He says, but you're right in trusting him for the right person to come along : )
This is an awesome post, Faith. We worry so much what others will think but we need to follow what God is telling our hearts. A very freeing post!
Mel! I didn't know you were away from the church in your teens?? SO glad you came back to it! Praise God..I'd love to hear your testimony sometime. You are correct that sometimes we need to just concentrate on our own area of "giftedness"...those spiritual gifts that God blessed us with and let other people rise up!
Susanne: It IS very freeing indeed! Thanks for your kind words and for popping in!
I'd be happy to tell you my testimony sometime. And it is quite the testimony. God is GOOD
OK!! Maybe you could put part of it in your blog, if it's not too personal!
Thank you for these thoughts. I am trying to work through what I am really gifted and called to do in life, especially with being responsible for little ones. Your journey is helpful.
Thanks also for your continuing encouraging comments on my blog. What a gift they are!
I've been in a similar situation, feeling like I'm in the wrong spot where I am not gifted but hating to give up because I feel like a failure. In one case, the ministry (scheduling church nursery) was what the Lord used to grow me, but when I hit the sixth year, he gave me me peace about passing it on to someone else who needed the experience! ;-)
I too feel like my giftedness is teaching. But I'm trying to figure out if its with kids or adults. It is so nice to know that if we keep checking in with God about it and stay alert, we'll see His direction. So glad He answered you!
Also thank you so much for continuing to stop by my blog and leave comments!
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