Pursued

 

Lisha Kill Nature Preserve 

While I was seeking Sabbath space, I ran a trail for about a half mile.  I loved it,  although as I mentioned in this first post about my time in the woods on Thursday morning, I regretted doing so as it left me with upper back pain. But I did love running along this new bridge and up those new steps where in previous years, this trail had a steep, muddy slope here.  The stairs make it easier to get to the ridge top of the nature preserve. 

After the sun and deer incident mentioned in the first post,   I walked more slowly, savoring the white pine scent and occasionally picking up the balsam scent (my fave). The crunch of the freshly fallen leaves seemed so loud in the quiet of the sun-dappled woods.  I was the only human there at  9:45 AM. 

 I came down to the creek and walked along it for a bit, praying for my friends and their requests. But  after turning back from the creek, towards what I thought was the trail, I discovered I was a bit lost. The trail had disappeared!

 I was alone. But I wasn't super fearful because I knew if I retraced my steps back to the creek, I could look for a red blaze and hopefully it would be there to lead me back to the main trail. 

where's the trail? 

There were no red blazes! There were a lot of downed trees.  This is called blowdown if you're a hiker. I was annoyed and felt like I was wasting my time. But that's when I looked up and saw this scene: 

There were no red blazes but the trail was more obvious...at least I hoped it was the right trail...and God said to my heart "Follow My Light".  Seriously, God, You're going to turn this into a spiritual lesson...another one? Isn't one enough for this morning? 

Apparently not, because there was another whole lesson coming, although I didn't know it at the time. 

So...I followed the sunlight which was uncannily ahead of me on the path (there are no coincidences, my friends!) 

Soon, I came to what my friends and I who have come here together, call "the valley".  It's this depression in the ground and yes, there was a red blaze on the tree at the start of it, after I turned away from the creek. This picture shows me looking back down the trail towards "the valley". 

And this is where I heard God speak again! I guess I really was having Sabbath time with Him. He said:  "These last 4 months have seemed to you like you've been in a pit.....you've struggled to come to the mountain top...you've had  so many good hikes to the tops of mountains these past months, but I've had you in a valley because I needed you to see that I'm walking with you through it. You've had trouble seeing that. I'm talking about a spiritual valley and a spiritual mountain top experience. I didn't do things in the order you  wanted me to.  It's because your heart and mind weren't ready for the last hard piece.  I've been telling you this so you can see why I did things this way. Trust me, daughter. I know the plans I have for you. This was my plan all along. Your openness with your friend brought you relief. You shared hard things that had never been shared. That was Me guiding you, just like I guided you today. Lean into Me because I have so much more."

walking up from the "valley" 

And then all I heard was silence. The silence seemed so loud. 

Until it wasn't. 

trail heading back down the ridge
and back towards the main trail to parking area

I heard a loud knocking.  And immediately I knew what it was: a pileated woodpecker!  And wow did I hear from God again but at first it was hard to hear His Voice over that bird!  In fact, I was kind of ignoring God's Voice because I was in pursuit of that woodpecker. I was determined to see him.  I have hiked with my husband for years...with our daughters...with my friends...and in my hiking group...and have heard them numerous times.  But they are good at hiding. They do not want to be found!  They will literally go all the way around the tree so humans cannot find them. But then I came upon this tree and I stopped up short because God's Voice rose above that bird's

"you've been stripped bare like this tree. I have stripped away those memories/"friends"  of your former church, I have stripped away some of those triggers that have tripped you up regarding your  childhood and I am stripping away your self-reliance." 

Ouch. I'm actually kind of proud of being independent. Thanks anyway, God. 

 So I stood there and said God, You're the One who gave me an independent spirit, aren't you? And then I heard something along the lines of how not only it's a strength but it's also a weakness. And He uses our weaknesses to get us to focus on His Strength.  I didn't fully understand what I was hearing so I began to pursue the woodpecker again who was just madly knocking away at some tree ahead of me. 

I began to walk faster because I really wanted to see this pileated creature. I can be quite stubborn and I wasn't going to leave until I could at least get a glimpse of him. I've seen one at our suet  feeder the last 2 winters... but never in the woods. I was one determined person. 

And as I pursued the sound (he always seemed to be 2 steps ahead of me) guess what God spoke about? It was so powerful I pulled out my notes app and wrote the words down (you do know, I hope, that I haven't been hearing an audible Voice.  It's more like a whisper to my soul...it's through the Holy Spirit that God speaks to us...it's called the manifest presence of God and it's humbling): 

"the woodpecker is hiding from you like you tried to hide from Me so many times in your past. But you cannot hide from Me and you know that, so you faced  those last pieces of abuse because My Spirit was drawing you to peace and joy again. I always see you, I always hear you, I am always present for you.  You feel closest to Me in My created world and that's Ok. That's how I created you! But now you know I Am with you everywhere....this is in your heart now, not just your head knowledge."

 As He was talking, I was still pursuing the woodpecker and typing the words on my phone. At one point I saw the bird swoop down and then up onto the upper part of the trail where I had to go to get back to my car. The pursuit was on! I was so determined to see this woodpecker that I almost missed the next words from God but I paused to catch my breath and there was His Voice again speaking over the knocking of that dang bird. 

"I have a purpose for you other than all the purposes you have walked in since knowing Me. Although you think your teaching days are over, they are not. Your purpose is to teach women...and to come alongside them and learn with them, doing life with them, learning about My purposes for your lives. Do this. You know the book. You know My Word. A Life of Purpose. Do that. " 

I was kind of confused. What in the world was He talking about? I already do lead 2 women's groups: a Monday morning one that will end in  mid- Dec and a Tues evening one that will end in about 6 weeks. Life of Purpose? Yes, of course, we all have lives with purpose. I kind of just shrugged off these words and rounded the last corner of the trail (It becomes a switchback trail to get to the upper part). 

and there he was. The Woodpecker. I could NOT believe it. I very slowly opened up the camera app and snapped a pic. And then I took a video. I was silently praising God for allowing me to see this creature that has proved so elusive. 

zoom in and you can see him in the middle of the tree on the right side. 
He didn't hide! 

And God whispered "You are not elusive. I pursue you. A life of purpose.  Remember that." 

 

And friends, when I got home, and  was doing chores around the house, I went into the living room to straighten up my little coffee table where I typically do my Bible study homework or work on my blog. I noticed the books and hiking guides on the bottom shelf needed cleaning up.....And guess what I found on the very bottom of a stack of hiking things? Something I had completely forgot I bought last autumn....I had ordered it and never even really looked at it. guess I know what my next  Monday group study will be.....

God pursues us, my friends.....for His Kingdom purposes.