Marriage: Holiness, Happiness

I could have written alot about this topic. I just didn't really have the time this month to devote to it. I do like this quote by C.S. Lewis though! Oh how true those words are! If we truly can learn to love the Lord God better than any one here on earth, then we are able to love our spouse better than we do at the present time! I think this is one of the best quotes I have seen about marriage and I have seen many!

When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. C.S. Lewis

And this quote from Billy Graham's wife is profound. Forgiveness. Wow.

A good marriage is the union of two forgivers. Ruth Bell Graham


The following excerpt was written by Drs. Kathleen Fischer Hart and Thomas N. Hart. They teach theology and counsel in the Seattle, Washington area. It was taken from Spirituality Today (Spring, 1984, vol. 36, #1,pp. 15-33)

The Call to Holiness in Christian Marriage

"Although married life appears ordinary, it is the kind of milieu in which Jesus obeyed the Father and is the context for a couple's growth in Christian holiness."

"MOST Christians marry and live out the greater part of their lives in the married vocation. They concern themselves with making a living, maintaining a home, learning to relate to one another, and raising children. Yet few married Christians in the past considered these interests, which absorb the greater portion of their adult years, as their primary path to holiness. They thought holiness lay elsewhere. There are several reasons for this failure to recognize marriage as a fundamental context for the living out of Christian discipleship."

Marriage is a challenging vocation. This is especially true in our present cultural context. Divorce rates are high. In light of the pressures of marriage and the constantly changing values of the surrounding culture, many today are reluctant to make permanent commitments. Perhaps more than ever before, married couples need the support of a Christian community to live out their call to holiness.

Marriage is a sacrament of faith. Prayer and the Christian sacraments enable couples to keep this faith vision of marriage alive. The Christian community holds before husband and wife the gospel challenge to love, forgiveness, and faithfulness. It also strengthens individuals to live a life that calls for a constant battle with selfishness and discouragement."

What I have personally learned from being married for 17 years (18 in June!) and from other Christian couples, particularly good friends of ours, (thanks Rick and Cheryl!) is that marriage is work. I believe God has instituted marriage so that we can know what His Love is for His Bride (the church). I really believe it is as basic as that. I believe that it is a sacred covenant so I guess that is where the holiness comes into play. But more than that, it is a holy act to be intimate (emotionally and physically) with our spouse. Just like it is a holy act to be intimate with our Father. If a Christian couple/family has chosen to follow Jesus Christ holiness and happiness will follow. Does this mean everything will always be like the honeymoon? Of course not. Life happens. Trials come. Christians are not perfect people. We are not immune to life's problems. But if Christ is honored in the home, contentment and holiness can reign.

Our mate should be our most intimate friend. Just like Jesus should be our most Intimate Friend. (put Jesus first!) We need each other and we need God in the midst of us.

Here is my favorite passage about marriage:

"two are better than one,

because they have a good return for their work:

if one falls down, his friend can help him up.

But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.

But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered,

two can defend themselves,

A cord of three strands in not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4: 9-12

This is a picture of a marriage in Christ. The threefold strand is a husband and wife whose lives have been intertwined with the life of God.

The marriage covenant builds security.

Our covenant with God gives us security.

I believe the entire design of marriage is a picture of our life with the Lord.