Speaking Life!

photo courtesy of pinterest

On Thursday evening, the small group I facilitate had our 4th meeting of the school year.  

We are studying The Power of a Praying Parent (the updated edition) and it is quite powerful! (no pun intended!)

Because I had 2 women missing that evening, I summarize on here so they can "catch up" with the discussion/information.  (Of course, I won't be writing about personal anecdotes or specific issues that the moms brought up, due to privacy concerns......but sometimes I have a mom who gives permission to use her story, etc.)  

This week we did the chapter entitled "Learning to Speak Life" and most of the discussion centered around how we as moms can speak life to our teens/college young adults and how to help our teens speak their own words of "life" vs negative thoughts/speech or ungodly speech.

We opened with a time of worship by praying for a specific concern regarding two of the moms and by listening/watching Toby Mac's song "Speak Life".  It was excellent!  Very good lyrics for our discussion. 

 We then played a ball of yarn "Web" game....we had to toss a ball of yarn to another person, speak words of life (encouragement, something positive) to that person, and then pull the string tight.  That person then chose to toss it to another person, until each person said and had spoken to them, words of life.  We saw the web design it made and I reminded the moms that if these were tangled with good words of life, can they imagine how tangled up their heartstrings would be with negative words that impact their child's heart, mind, and soul??  Many of the moms were very touched by the words spoken to them.

Summary of Chapter 16 

By teaching/training and role modeling that God's Word is Truth, and by having a real love for God, along with a spirit-filled heart, it will be easier as  we grow to speak words of life/truth.  All of these things help lead us to words that speak life.  Speaking life is simply stating truth, wrapped in love, and focusing on the positive.

For example:  a teen girl who says she is ugly has a root issue of low self esteem so as moms we want to focus on the fact/truth, that God made her. He doesn't make mistakes.  He created her in His image and she is fearfully and wonderfully made.

photo courtesy of praise 4 website

We can then point out her strengths such as she is strong, muscular, smart, funny, kind, caring, honest, etc.  Whatever your teen's strengths are, choose to speak them.....help her/him to know that God made them for a purpose and a plan and she has giftings and talents.  This carries over to when they speak about negative things that are not just physical traits.  For example, if they fail a test and are "down in the dumps" about it or feel "dumb", point out the areas where they are doing well, academically and think about getting a tutor or providing them with extra help so they really see that you care and take their education seriously.  These are just brief examples of things we discussed.  There are also cases of bullying, negative self-talk, or negative talk of others.  All of these things are not of God.  Help your teen to turn things around by making positive statements and teaching God's Scriptures.

We need to be asking ourselves if what we or our teens are saying line up with TRUTH.  Is the negative thought based on fact or is it their interpretation of things?  Teens still need us to help sort this out......sometimes college-aged kids need this as well. Other questions to consider are:  will this matter in 5 years?

Is thinking/speaking this way helping or hurting my personal goals/my faith/spiritual development.

We discussed how negative emotions are OK!! Our emotions, all of them...both positive and negative, are given to us by God! He is the Creator of all things!

Some negative emotions that teens (or parents!) face are:  guilt, sadness, depression, anger, shame, embarrassment, stress, being upset with no known reason, being upset for someone else or something that was done to them.

We do need to feel all of our emotions for healthy growth.  However, it is our job as parents to help our children sort through and work out those negative emotions.  What we (and they) need to focus on is channeling those negative thoughts into positive thoughts and positive ways of dealing with them.  For instance, when we are angry, the Bible tells us NOT to sin. We can feel something and not sin with/in it.  State the feeling to your  teen ("I see that you are feeling angry...is that true?") and wait for them to respond.  "you can feel angry...it is ok." (too many of us grew up in Christian homes/families/churches where we were told it is NOT ok to be angry, depressed, etc.....that is NOT TRUTH!!).  Jesus felt angry at times...Jesus was sad at times.  God was angry often at His chosen people! Our role as praying moms is to encourage our children to take an active, positive approach to their feelings....have them journal, or work-out, or talk to someone they trust.  Sometimes teens need to talk to a respected and trusted person who is NOT their parent. Make sure you are providing those opportunities. I know for my own oldest daughter, she often turned to one of her youth group leaders......she turned to me and my husband as well, but there were times when she preferred to share with a church leader...this is normal!!  Encourage it!! (make sure you already know the leader well...and trust him/her....it is best that if you have a son, he talks with a male leader if a 1:1 situation, and if a daughter, a female.).

We never know the impact our words will have on our teenagers and young adult children.  We need to remember that all of our words...every.single.one, will someday be judged by God!

Encourage your child to "be real" with you and allow her/him to be open and honest.  Make sure as a parent that you are open and honest with them, too.....and give them real life experiences that you have gone through, depending on their maturity level, etc.  

Pray positive words and Scriptures over your child and WITH your child!  Too often we neglect this area.

Pray often for your teenager to keep his heart pure.......and pray for your child's salvation in Christ, if they haven't already made their own decision to follow Him.

If your teen is the one doing the negative talk about someone else, help lead them to confession and repentance before God.  This is very important!  Help them to think of positive things to say or ways to solve whatever the problem is.

Most of us shared small anecdotes of times we've heard our teens either speaking negative words about themselves or others.  I gave the example of how my own 2 daughters tend to have very high self-esteem...sometimes TOO high.....my youngest especially, is given a lot of praise and positive feedback from her ballet instructors, other parents, teachers, relatives, for her ballet performances.  She knows she is the most advanced student in the troupe because she is told this often by the headmistress of the studio.  However, I have caught her saying things like "I don't need to do that, I already know it" or "I know I"m the best at the academy...." and other prideful things.  This too is just as much of a sin as the negative comments.  I have to remind her that her gifting of dance and grace is from GOD!  And that she needs to be careful of not being/sounding prideful.  We've been teaching her that pride goeth before a fall (destruction) according to the Scriptures and that she needs to be thankful for her gifting and remain humble before the Lord and others. This area has improved, thankfully.

We had one mom give an account of something negative that turned out to have a positive outcome!  I can't go into details here as I didn't get her permission to write about it, but please know that GOD MOVES IN MIRACULOUS WAYS!

Our words are very powerful.......for the good and for the bad.  If we are keeping a guard on our mouths, our children will see that model and will tend to be more careful with their own speech.

Never give up praying for your teenager and college kids.......our prayers and our positive words speak life.

At the end of the discussion, we took each other's prayer requests, writing them down for the week, and then we had the drawing for the free giveaway.  Our winner was Hope M.....she won a dark chocolate caramel candy stick, a coupon for a free cup of coffee at the Grace Fellowship/Latham cafe, and a mini bottle of Bath and Body Works Country Chic lotion all tied with an autumnal ribbon.

I hope to see everyone from group at our next meeting in 2 weeks.......and in the month of December, we will be having another free giveaway that you won't want to miss!

have a blessed day!!

if you love Me...........

See the picture below??

This is typically used to show a balance of things.

photo courtesy of the strengths foundation

The small group of 6 moms that I lead just finished up Lesson 6 in the Women of Faith study book Living a Life of Balance.

Each chapter is now starting to build on the previous one.  Lesson 6 was all about balancing love and obedience.

The main verse was from John 14:15

I asked each mom to think back to when her child was a 1 year old.  Early toddlers are at the stage where they love to please us.  They will pick up the ball if you tell them.  They don't typically say "No" yet to your demands. They obey because they love us...they want to please us.

Then I asked the moms to think about what that child was like a year later...at age 2.  Typical 2 year olds, developmentally, tend to want to do the opposite of what we are saying/demanding.  They haven't yet learend to cooperate and we as parents expect  direct obedience. Yet, they are pushing back to assert their own will.  Children at this age will obey if role models are given and you help them complete the task "hand over hand".  Even when they are not obeying you, they still love you.  

Then we talked about what that child is like 2 years later...at age 4.  Four year olds tend to be engaged in the cooperative play level.  This means they are no longer as egocentric as they were as toddlers.  They are learning to play WITH peers rather than alongside them.  They are learning to cooperate with mommy rather than having to wait to be asked and then obeying. For example, if you have been consistent with teaching your child to pick up their toys, at age 4 they are more likely to just do it as expected...and even more so by age 7.  Some times there is a child who will not learn this cooperation within the family unit and then you need to re-teach how to directly obey. But they don't have to be taught to love us.  Children just love us.  They may not like us at times, but they do love. 

Of course we then moved on in the discussion as to our current situations with teens and college kids.  We don't tend to use the words "obey me" with our older children, because they have learned how to cooperate within the family unit if you have done your part and taught it.  Most teens help out with chores, errands, housework, keeping their school work organized, keeping us informed of their schedules, etc.  We don't typically have to ask them as much as when they were younger.  And of course they do these things simply because of their love for us and the family unit.  

After this opening discussion, we moved on to how that looks in our spiritual lives.  We talked about how God showed love to us by sacrificing his own Son.  This went along with question 1.

For #2 we discussed how the verse in Deuteronomy 11:1 talks about loving God and keeping ALL his requirements, decrees, laws and commands always.  I shared how this goes along with the 2 greatest commandments that Jesus taught us (to love the Lord our God with all our heart, soul, mind and to love our neighbors as ourselves).  If we are loving God, we are keeping his laws and commandments.  And by keeping those commands, we are showing Him we love him.  Just like our children did when they were younger.

For question 3, we talked about how we MUST put our words of faith into practice........our actions DO speak louder than words and this is what our teens witness.  Teenagers start to question the belief system they have grown up with.  ALL teenagers will need to establish their own personal relationship with Christ... they will not get into heaven unless they come to salvation on their own.  They are watching our every move even though they might not admit it and we might not see them watching.  

Back in the Scripture centering around Isaiah 29:13 we discussed how the people were honoring God with their lip service, and how their worship was based on the human rules that they had been taught.  But they weren't really loving God. They were just following rules devised by man.

Our children and teens often fall into this pattern to please us.....but let's keep in mind that they need their OWN relationship with Jesus.  And we need to be speaking of God, following His commands and not just a bunch of rules devised by mankind.  We are to follow what the Scriptures say for our lives.

 We have the responsibility of showing them love and obedience to our Savior so they can then see what that means. 

We also talked about the importance of God keeping covenant with us!!  How cool is that, that God keeps covenant with US?  This is based on Deuteronomy 7:9.  He does this for a thousand generations! One generation is typically one hundred years...and He loves and has mercy for us for a THOUSAND generations.  This is why it is so important, as one mom pointed out, to be teaching our children what the Scriptures say.  We are to talk about the things of God at all times.....look for those moments in the day and do them.  By obeying that command, we are showing love to our family AND to God.

Keeping the laws of God and obeying God are not burdens.  It's because we love God that we obey!

We wrapped up the discussion by summarizing the book of I John.

Basically, the book was written by Jesus' friend...the disciple whom He loved.  The whole purpose of I John is to encourage Christians to love and obey the Lord and to teach us about false teachings...to be aware that antiChrists want to destroy our faith by false teachings.

In summary:  Obey first, love and believe.  It's the perfect balance. Obey because we love. And because we love, we obey.

Let's begin to demonstrate to the unbelievers in our lives, what the love of God looks like.  Be practical!  Think of specific things you can do to show love.  And then obey God by doing those things.

please note: the chapter started out with an anecdote about young wives saying to their husband's that "if you love me, you will.............." and we all agreed that none of us really liked that. We thought that was a rather immature thing and that most Christian women would probably not be that manipulative with their husband.....we also shared some things about our early marriages that sort of related to that, but for the most part we didn't like that anecdote.  This is why I changed it to having the moms think about when their children were very young and we are teaching them to obey.  I thought it was a better example.

By Faith or By Sight?

We are about half -way through our Bible Study for the Got Teens?! small group that I lead in my home.

It has been an excellent study so far!  (see sidebar for book details).

Here are the notes for Lesson 5 which centered around balancing faith with sight.

I began the group by asking which game(s) they used to play as children, in the dark...and why did you like it (or not)?

Answers were Manhunt, Hide and Seek, Pin the Tail on the Donkey.

Two of us liked that there was a sense of adventure...of risk....one person said she didn't play games in the dark nor would she have liked it as she would have been scared.

This was a great lead in to the thoughts expressed in the study...sometimes we have to just trust and walk by faith....with no seen things.....and other times we can see evidence of God at work.

• We can use creation..the world around us, the universe, as evidence of God's work.  Creation is a perfect example of  "things seen".  
• Question 2 had us exploring Psalm 145:4

photo courtesy of spiritual memoirs blog

It is our job as moms to share with our teens (and younger children) the things of God...the mighty works He has done for us......from Creation to the unseen things like Hope, Peace, Joy.

Non-believers might not agree that God created the heavens and the earth, so our actions and words will need to point them to God's Love. They will also get a glimpse of God based on how we, as Believers, face our trials and the "storms of life".

• Discussion of #3 centered around things we cannot see....things we need to have faith for.  I gave the example of something God created that we can't see:  Wind.  We cannot see the wind but we can know its effects on us or the earth...we can see the results of wind...we can feel the wind.  It is no accident that God uses the word "wind" to describe the Holy Spirit (see Acts 2).  We can't see the Holy Spirit but we can see the fruit from trusting in Him....we can see the results of the Holy Spirit's working in us, our teens, our spouse, our families.....the church as a whole....

• This lead in to discussing question 5 which centered around Hebrews 11:1....I have this verse memorized in the King James Version but here it is in simple language:

photo courtesy of blossom art via deviant art

HOPE is the power behind faith.

We can't see hope yet without it we can get discouraged or bitter.

Faith is having a confidence...a trust...in things we cannot see....in God....a knowing that He works ALL THINGS for good.  It might be a horrible situation we are in or someone we care about is in, but there will always be some purpose to it. We might not know what that purpose is while still on this earth in our humanness, but we can have the CONFIDENCE of knowing that God holds us.  And Jesus prays for us!!  He makes intercession to the Father on our behalf.  That is good news!

• #6 centered around the fact that we do walk by faith and not by sight.  We discussed in depth about how getting to that complete trust in Christ comes from RESTING IN HIM.  That intimacy that we need to draw closer to Jesus and thus, trust in Him more.  This question is an example of how one lesson in the study builds on another.  Unless you have a good grasp of what it means to fully rest in Him, and unless you are consistently practicing the Presence of God...fully resting in Him....you will have difficulty fully trusting in Him and hearing from Him.  We need to be in Him to hear His plans and purposes for our lives.

I then wrapped up our discussion with question 7 and with 2 of us sharing about  the Scriptures found in the Dig Deeper section.

• Psalm 31:4 is summed up like this:

photo via pinterest

This is a declarative statement!!

We can have confidence and say with all of our heart, mind, and soul that we are trusting in God.  That He is our God!!

and...we need to be telling others about our God...about His marvelous works, both seen and unseen.

Let's strike the balance....let's have the faith to pursue the things we cannot see and speak about the things that we CAN see.

Isaiah 65:24 says that before we even call on God, He hears us.  And He knows.  Sometimes all we need to pray is "God".  He knows.  

Are you walking by faith and sight??  

as with all Small Group Notes under that label, you do have permission to copy this post.

All Work and No Play?

photo courtesy of pinterest

As moms of teens and wives of busy husbands and women in the workforce and ministry, we are BUSY.  We know how to work. We have the work thing down pretty good.  Or at least we should.

But do we know how to play?  Do we know how to really take a rest?  Do we know how to be in a quiet place with our Lord and Savior? 

do we even want to?

This post is a summary of the small group meeting held in my home last week.  I had a couple of women miss it and it's too bad because the discussion and study was excellent, timely, and well......important. Because, sadly, not enough women...Christian women, really understand the concept of a Sabbath.  Of a rest.  Like God did after creating the world.  Like Jesus did after he ministered to thousands. Like Jesus commanded his disciples (and thus, us) to do.  To go away to a quiet place and rest.

The lesson (#4) was titled "balancing work and rest".  It is taken from the Women of Faith Study book Living a Life of Balance (see sidebar)

• I opened the meeting up with prayer which really set the tone for the evening.  Everyone seemed glad that we started like this.  It will be the way we begin from now on, rather than ending with prayer.

• I then asked each woman to quickly (don't think too long about it) answer the question "If you had free time, what is something you would love to do?"  or "What do you do when you have free time?"  They had to reply in a one-word answer. I, of course, said "hike".  Other answers were "deck-sit", "hobby" (do it yourself projects), "read" and ...yes...one woman actually said "organize" (and no, it wasn't me again!)  Apparently, to her, organizing helps her relax.
• I then passed around the "Treasure Trinket" and told them that rather than looking for plastic ants like the book suggested (based on Proverbs 6:6), I laminated a photo of a robin sitting on a nest.  I told the women to think about whether the picture was showing the robin at work or at rest.  the answer would be revealed towards the end of the discussion.

•  Resting in God is something very dear to my heart....i have a real passion for it.  I think it is something more American women need to do, especially in today's culture.  I am not talking about being lazy and doing nothing.  (although there is a time for that). I am talking about resting IN HIM.  Getting to know Jesus more intimately involves spending more time with Him.  I talked about how when those of us went through labor at the end of our pregnancies (labor means work) that we were working so hard...our bodies, minds and souls were working.  Yet we were focused on the end product so could stand the "pain" of work.  After that baby was placed on our tummies or in our arms (we have a couple of women who have never experienced labor....they adopted, but they were still "working" towards an end product...having that moment with a precious baby) ....after that work, came a much needed rest.  Even when nursing our baby at the breast (or giving him a bottle if you adopted), you were working yet also resting. It is fascinating to think about.

• We then discussed Question #2 which centered around the Lord's commandment (and discussed by Paul in 2 Thessalonians 3:10) that if we don't work, we won't eat!  This started in the Garden of Eden.

but....God also commands us to rest!!  To take a Sabbath (which just means "rest").  God was our first example of this. After He created our world, He took a day of rest.  A Sabbath.  I briefly discussed that our Sabbath does not necessarily mean it has to be on a Sunday.  A Sabbath is whatever day of rest you designate. We don't need to be legalistic about it.

I did take this question a step further and shared about how we do need a time of recreation or rest to simply refresh our bodies, minds, and souls.  Resting in Jesus is an intimate act.  I suggested to the moms that if they have never rested with a journal, the Bible or their notebook, to just start doing that.  Carve out a time to just "rest in the Lord".  It doesn't mean doing prayer intercession but it does mean talking with God in your spirit. It doesn't mean working on the Bible study or browsing devotionals on the computer or other electronic devices.  It means going to a place of retreat, whether it's in the woods on a hike, a rock by a lake, your front porch, or your back deck.  It could even be on your couch or sitting on your bed.  Get quiet with the Lord somewhere.  And read or meditate on a Scripture.  Then journal what He speaks to your heart.  Save it. And look back to see how God is working in your life.  Spending TIME with God is resting in Him.

• We discussed practical ways we can find the balance between work and rest....between work and play.  Work is good for us....we have gifts and abilities that God has given to us.  We are commanded to cultivate those gifts and use them for His purposes.  That is why we work. We can be a shining light and bring the Source of Light to our workplace whether it's in ministry, in the career/job market, or in the home as a housewife/mother.

•  BUT...we also need to rest.  Not enough of us build rest time into our days....I shared how I do it. I simply come home from work and take a few minutes (sometimes it is only 10 min) before switching roles from special educator to wife/mom/taxi driver, cook, house manager.  If you keep a calendar or day-timer, mark off the important chores, etc.  Clean one room a night after work so it all doesn't pile up on the weekends.  After work, do a quick errand on the way home to again free up your weekend.  Schedule play time!!  Seriously...if you don't schedule some free time with your husband, or child, or just yourself, it simply won't happen.  I schedule hikes...I carve out time on weekends during the school year to either go to the library or do something outside.  In the summer it is easier....but I still get it on the calendar. This way, if the weather doesn't cooperate, you still have that chunk of time to do something else that is restful...that takes you on a "retreat".  It doesn't have to be a women's retreat or a lunch date.  In fact, it is best that it is something you have a passion for...a hobby. Schedule time with just YOU.  We need alone time to refresh, recharge and renew.  This should be happening once a week.....or at least once every couple of weeks.  You are the one who needs to make it happen.  By doing so, you will be following Christ's example.  He told the disciples in Mark 6:31 to go to a quiet place by themselves!!  He also had to. This was after a time of much serving.  Jesus worked. And then He went away to a quiet place.

• We briefly discussed that rest is not wasted time.
• We briefly summarized the various Proverbs found in #6.  We are to be diligent in our work.  We are to be diligent in our rest.

This brings balance!

• We discussed #7 by summarizing that above everything....above work, and play, we need to be guarding our hearts.  This is also a commandment.

photo courtesy of pinterest

 This is a warning given to us from God.  In everything we do, we need to be guarding our hearts.  Everything flows from our hearts.....the best way to do this is to stay in the Scriptures....read the Word of God daily, work according to His purpose and plan for your life...and take time to rest.

By applying all of these principles, you will find the balance between work and play. 

I briefly spoke about teaching these concepts to our teenagers as well.  They also need to learn the balance between work and rest, especially once they are in college.

• We wrapped up our discussion by sharing/summarizing what the various "Dig Deeper" Scriptures meant to us.  A couple of the women shared their thoughts on 2 Corinthians 8:7 and 2 Peter 1:5 and I shared on Romans 12:11 

photo courtesy of all about God website

We need to value Christ above all else....whether we are working or resting, our faith will be built up....staying in the Word, keeping our zeal for God and for the work He has placed before us will strengthen our souls.  Resting in Him will continue to bring intimacy with Him.

Are you all work and no play?

Or are you always resting/playing and not doing the work set before you?  

Look at the robin on the nest.....Is she working or resting?

The answer is BOTH.  She is "Working" because she is sitting on the eggs waiting for those babies to hatch.  Robins work hard to build their home and then work until that end product:  baby robins.  

But she is also at rest....she is just sitting...resting in the knowledge that good things will happen.

Be blessed today......find the balance between work and play.  Your soul, mind and body will be in balance the way God wants it to be.

as will all posts under the Small Group/Got Teens?! label, you do have permission to print this out/copy.

Life. Interrupted.

I love leading a Small Group (Got Teens?!).  I enjoy discussing the Scriptures and study questions with other moms.  I love hearing everyone's ideas or what a particular Scripture meant to them.

I especially like this current study we are doing. I'm learning some stuff about my self and about my group of friends.  It's refreshing and perfect for our roles in life in this busy season the Lord has us in. Life is busy in middle-age just like it was in our early years of marriage.....only different!  Now we have teens' schedules to juggle, ministry duties (some of us), careers, the running of the home, wifely duties, friendships to cultivate, and church events to attend.  Not to mention getting some social time in with our family/husband/friends.  And participating in service projects via our church community or out in the community  doing volunteer work.  

It can be overwhelming at times.  We can feel stressed or upset when  an interruption to our daily schedule presents itself.  OR maybe we are the type of person who HAS no schedule so we feel overwhelmed just tackling the every day tasks that God sets before us....and we know we need to set some kind of schedule but we don't know how!!  Which category do you fall into??  (I'm the type that has various things scheduled into my daytimer or iPad app for the next few months!...but...I have also learned how to be flexible and God is still teaching me in this area of being more spontaneous, especially when it comes to extended family or friends)  

But....have you considered that life's interruptions are usually directed by God??

I am here to share a summary of Lesson 3 in the Living a Life of Balance study book.  The reason I share notes here are for any of my mom friends who had to miss the meeting.....this way they (or you!) can print out the notes and stay connected to the study.  Each lesson builds on the previous one in certain areas.

I opened with the summary of the previous lessons' main points:  that living a life of balance means to glorify God in all things and to live/work/play according to His purposes and plans for us.

I then read a prayer out of a prayer devotional I have been going through.  The summary of that is God wants us to draw closer to Him. To spend quality time with HIM. That life is full of distractions and is hectic but that we need to have our eyes and ears open to Him, focusing on Him.

I recommended setting a schedule for daily activities because there are certain things that must be done in our homes.....and as moms we do set the tone in our homes.  Everyone shared what that looks like for them.  I also shared about how we need to find teachable moments with our teens just like we did when they were toddlers.  The teens can be held accountable for doing certain things in the home, like their own laundry, car washing, dishes, etc.  In fact, it is our job to make sure our teens (girls AND boys) know how to do these household management tasks as our goal is for them to one day move out!

We talked about how Proverbs 16:9 teaches us to trust God because He is the one who directs our steps.

"A man's heart plans His way,but the Lord directs his steps."

We can make our schedules and plans but GOD is the one in control of what happens! and in Philippians 2:13 it tells us

"For it it God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure"

When we face interruptions in our daily lives, we need to stop and consider that it might be in God's plan for us........for that moment.........we are put on this earth to do His will and His purposes!  It might be a divine appointment (I shared an anecdote about a neighbor popping in that ended up being an opportunity for the Good News) or it might end up being a teachable moment like my anecdote I shared about my oldest gal wanting to chat at 11 pm at night.  Don't miss out on those times with your teens or with people God brings to you to minister to or just to listen...or just to do something with.....see the interruptions as God's plans.  You will have greater freedom in your schedule when you allow your heart to be open to these moments.

One of the moms read in Isaiah 55:8 & 9 that our ways are not God's ways!  Our thoughts are not God's thoughts!  He doesn't always reveal His exact plan to us....this is where TRUST comes in!!

There were various Scriptures to look up and match with various statements on page 29.  I summed these up in my study book by explaining that these commandments from God are for our own good!  They help us to find ultimate joy and purpose through a relationship with Him.  We will be fulfilled when we live this way.  (unfortunately we were running out of time to get into this in more detail, thus these notes!!).

When we realize that our schedules are in God's hands....and that we need to trust Him with our daily lives.....even our little things....that we will experience freedom and peace in our souls.

Psalm 119:133 says to stay in the Word of God....that by being in the Scriptures is how God will direct our steps.  The Word of God is our guidebook through life.  (this was discussed at great length when we first started the small group 3 years ago and did the study Got Teens?! Not only is the Bible a great resource for us to use in our parenting, but it is a necessary resource for each of us in our daily walk as individuals.)

All of us shared various aspects of how we deal with interruptions to our set schedules...some shared that they want to be more scheduled, and some want to be more flexible.  It is a balancing act for sure!!

But...when life gets interrupted, remember Who is doing the interrupting....and focus on what He might be teaching you in that moment...or focus on WHY He might be bringing that interruption to you.......He might need to use you for kingdom purposes!  And ultimately, He will get the glory!!

Our treasure trinket for lesson 3 was a write-on/wipe-off weekly calendar to remind us to schedule the necessary things (church, small group!!) and to be flexible when life is interrupted.

God Bless you!!

as with any posts under the Small Group Notes label, you DO have permission to copy this. Please just leave a quick comment that you did. Thanks!

Just Say "NO!"

The small group I lead just finished up Lesson 2 in the Living a Life of Balance study book. 

What a great chapter!  It was chock full of good things and unfortunately, we got a little side-tracked from all the points I wanted to bring out in the discussion.  This often happens so I am determined that we are going to stay on topic from here on out!

The lesson centered around our time and responsibilities that we have as a wife, mother of teens, and as women who work outside the home/manage our homes and/or engage in ministry duties.

The Scripture verse for the week was from Ecclesiastes 3:1

"To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven"

I opened with reminding the moms that a balance needs to be struck between our time and responsibilities. Our discussion would center around this.

 I also read from a "Dear Abby" article about a parent (a dad) writing that he didn't know how to limit his 13 yr old daughter from constantly using her cell phone.  I asked the moms  if they could figure out what was wrong with this....why would a parent have to ask Dear Abby???

Basically:  because the parents didn't want confrontation and just didn't know how to parent!!  They didn't know that they could say NO!  The adult is the parent. NOT the teen.  That teen needs boundaries and set limits placed in her life.  I can't believe that this father just didn't take the cell away!!!!  We then went on to discuss how it is OUR responsibility to train, teach, and guide our children.  It is up to us.  It needs to start in the home.  By shirking this responsibility, our own children will have a difficult time growing up to be responsible adults.  Especially if they have never been made to have boundaries in their lives.

We concentrated on the Scriptures where the apostle Paul tells Christians to make the most of their days (Ephesians 5:15 and Colossians 4:5). These Scriptures' main point is that we are to walk wisely.  Use wisdom in your day to day activities.

I shared about how some research I did regarding balancing our time and responsibilities centers around some questions we need to be asking ourselves, if we are Believers:

• What do we spend our time on??

• Are we being intentional about building relationships with others...especially within our own families.....specifically our children/teenagers?

• How do we begin the day? It will set the tone for the home.

• Are the activities and responsibilities in my life there because GOD called me to them??

• Have you asked God about them?

• Are you striving to do what YOU want to do or what God wants you to be doing??

• Is your busy schedule a result of pleasing God or pleasing man??

• Is God being glorified in the way we spend our time??

• Are you enjoying God through your pursuits and activities??

I didn't spend as much time on the last question as I had hoped....we discussed at length the importance of doing things if GOD puts them on our heart...not just things that mankind might want us to do......we talked about praying over major decisions to take on more or just saying NO to more activities, etc.

One personal example that I did get to share is that Claire, our 15 year old, is now serving at church.  She felt like this would be something God would have her do.  She is a greeter to younger teens (the junior high group) on Saturday evenings (5 pm service) during their junior high service.  It is a commitment that she knows she is going to have to prioritize.  Now, yes, there will be some weekends where we are away due to vacations or if she has a ballet show, etc. that she has to dance in.....at that point, she will then be instructed to find a replacement/sub or call the youth pastor in advance to explain why she won't be there.  These are all skills that teens can then use later in life.  She is learning to prioritize her time, and doing something that will glorify God and is pleasing to God.

We also discussed how we are in seasons of busyness with our teens or families.  We won't always be in a busy season.  So we do need to learn to JUST SAY NO at times....after pray and reflection.

When we ask God for direction in regards to our time and responsibilities, we can be assured that He will order our steps!!

Sometimes we will need to say no, or let go of something to do something else that is a bigger priority.

On a personal level, I have given up Facebook until Easter.

I have a certain project I am working on and it won't get done if I am spending my evenings scrolling down to see what all my friends and acquaintances are doing/posting!!  

Already, chunks of my time have been redeemed.  I love it!!

Are you struggling with finding time to do it all??

Pray about what GOD wants you to be doing/focusing on.

If it's your house, like someone in the group shared, start with this simple tip:

1. After work, unwind for about 5-10 minutes by reading for pleasure, reading a devotional, talking to God, being still.

2. Carve out a few minutes to work out a few days a week.

3. Choose one room of your house to clean each day after work.  That way your weekend is freed up from constant cleaning and chores.

4. Learn to delegate tasks to teens and husbands.

5.  JUST SAY NO!

as will all small group study notes, you do have permission to copy this article.

It's a Juggling Act............

photo courtesy of dreamstime

Our roles in life as a woman.  As a Christian woman.

Wife, mother, career woman, friend, ministry worker/servant, leader, sister, daughter.

It's like a juggling act to live a life of balance.

Our daily lives need balance.  Balanced diets, balanced checkbooks, balanced work-outs.

Our spiritual lives need balance. Time in the Word, prayer, church, fellowship, small groups, serving others, volunteering, ministry duties.

Our relationships need balance.   Time with the spouse, the children, the relatives, the parents if they're still alive, the college-aged young adult to mentor, the friendships to cultivate, the acquaintances and neighbors to reach out to, the work colleagues.  

All of the areas of our lives need balance.  Physical, mental, social/emotional, relational/marital, financial,  spiritual.

How do we achieve perfect balance?

We don't.

 Because we will never be perfect.  But there is One Person Who is Perfect, and with His help, we can gain better balance in every area.

The small group I lead (Got Teens?!) is studying the book Living a Life of Balance (from the Women of Faith series).  We've just finished the first lesson which talks about juggling the many roles we play on a daily basis. 

I Corinthians 15:44 is the lesson Scripture (along with many other Scriptures to aid in the question/answer section and in the Dig Deeper for discussion section). 

photo courtesy of Bible pic

The main points of the lesson are:

• We need physical AND spiritual balance. 
• To gain better balance we need a firm foundation (based on a relationship with Christ and going deeper and more intimate with Him on a daily basis)
• We will need to simplify our lives. (more will be discussed on how to do this in later lessons)
• We need to practice Psalm 119:11

• A balanced life thrives.
• A balanced life bears fruit.  Good fruit.
• Good fruit comes by abiding in Jesus as based on John 15:4

• God is glorified when we bear good fruit!

Jesus is the sustainer and source of our lives!

Some of the "dig deeper" Scriptures talked about letting no sin reign in our body! (Romans 6:12; Romans 8:13); about keeping our bodies pure.

This then led to a discussion of how important it is to teach our teens WHY we want them to keep their bodies pure until marriage. We discussed that even if something is legal it might not be ok spiritually!   There are consequences to everything we do!  Short term pleasures bring long term consequences.  This is true for teens as well as for us.  The short term pleasure of buying yet one more item for the house, or one more electronic device might have a long term consequence of financial stress, marital strife, and less time spent on relationships. (Just an example). The short term pleasure of sex outside of marriage might lead to an STD, pregnancy, emotional distress, heartache, more promiscuous behavior, low self-esteem, poor academic performance, spiritual apathy or total disregard for spiritual matters, and it definitely will lead to a soul tie which has its own consequences. (the example we used to bring our parenting of our  teens/college kids into the discussion)

PRACTICAL THINGS TO DO TO FIND PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL BALANCE

PHYSICAL:  eat healthy/make healthy choices; get sufficient rest and sleep; work-out/exercise at least 3x a week or more; relax and meditate; choose a hobby or something that is fun, creative or brings you some relaxation.

SPIRITUAL: pray; read the Scriptures daily; read a devotional; communicate with nature; fellowship with the body of Believers once a week; serve in a ministry but know your limits and time schedule; attend a small group.

We are looking forward to what God is going to do in this study!  We will be learning about balancing our time and responsibilities in Lesson 2.

Do you have a personal goal for better physical and/or spiritual balance?

What is it?

Get into God's Word and abide in Christ....and He will show you marvelous things!

The juggling act will get easier.....!

PLEASE NOTE: because this is a lesson/small group study summary, you DO have permission to copy this post.  Thank you!!

Note: Got Teens?! is a small group of Grace Fellowship Church.  It is a group for moms who have at least one teenager and/or young emergent adults (college aged students).  We currently have 7 in our group. We are in our 4th year of doing life together!